


show me family

by fillorianravenclaw



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Anxiety, Bisexual Julie Molina, Bisexual Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Child Neglect, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Family Issues, Family Member Death, Fluff, Found Family, Grief/Mourning, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Lesbian Flynn, M/M, Nobody Dies, Pansexual Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Romance, Texting, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, dumb gays, groupchat, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26790247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fillorianravenclaw/pseuds/fillorianravenclaw
Summary: Reggie creates a group chat to find some new friends and ends up finding himself a family instead.
Relationships: Alex & Flynn & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Flynn/Julie Molina, Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 345
Kudos: 1148





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is inspired by the song ho hey by the lumineers!
> 
> i've never done a texting fic before but this idea came to me at 3am and wouldn't leave me alone so here we are,,  
> although it is primarily a text fic, there will be actual dialogue and parts written traditionally :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reggie - 213-265-6990  
> luke - 213-228-8217  
> flynn - 213-314-8002  
> alex - 213-407-6018  
> julie - 213-430-0969
> 
> idk how i feel about this so any feedback and kudos makes me the happiest person ever!!

Maybe it was a bad idea on Reggie’s half, but he honestly could not be blamed for the events that _followed_ said bad idea. The people at his new school all had the personalities of a brick wall and Reggie had been losing his mind - quite literally, he’d resorted to talking to his _guitar_ at this point. So he’d created the group chat to find some new friends. Little did he know he wouldn’t just find new friends, but a family, too.

 **213-265-6990** : hello!!!

 **213-228-8217:** do I know you

 **213-265-6990:** nope!

 **213-314-8002:** omg hi

 **213-407-6018:** what

 **213-407-6018:** hi?

 **213-430-0969:** what is this

 **213-430-0969:** but still hiii

 **213-228-8217:** yeah why am i here

 **213-265-6990:** what is this?

 **213-265-6990:** well it’s a group chat for starters

 **213-314-8002:** omg you’re so funny

 **213-265-6990:** you are here because I’ve brought us all together

 **213-407-6018:** riiiiight

 **213-265-6990:** just please tell me none of you are like middle aged or anything

 **213-265-6990:** or like tiny children for that matter

 **213-430-0969:** I can confirm that I am not in fact a tiny child or in my fifties

 **213-314-8002:** I’m 17!

 **213-430-0969:** dude!! You can’t just tell random strangers your age!!

 **213-228-8217:** I’m 18 :)

 **213-407-6018:** same

 **213-430-0969:** fml ok im 17 too

 **213-265-6990:** samesies!

 **213-228-8217:** did you

 **213-228-8217:** did you really just say samesies

 **213-265-6990:** yep!

 **213-430-0969:** ok but really though,, what is this? I mean im all for making new friends but i dont want any of yall to turn out to be a serial killer

 **213-228-8217:** my money’s on mr 213-265-6990

 **213-407-6018:** i second that

 **213-265-6990:** excuse me??

 **213-265-6990:** I just wanted to make some new friends bc everyone in my life is boring so i typed in some random numbers! tada!

 **213-314-8002:** dude you sound lonely

 **213-228-8217:** woah don’t be harsh

 **213-407-6018:** thank god someone else who knows my pain

 **213-430-0969:** same,,

 **213-265-6990** : aaaanyway

 **213-314-8002** : yeah i was totally right

 **213-265-6990** : names!

 **213-265-6990** : i'm reggie

 **213-430-0969** : wtf no way age is one thing but im not telling yall my name

 **213-228-8217** : well i'm luke

 **Reggie** : yeah you sound like a luke

 **213-407-6018** : how… does someone ‘sound like a luke’

 **Reggie** : he just does don't ask me

 **213-407-6018** : alright

 **213-407-6018** : im alex

 **213-314-8002** : flynn!

 **213-430-0969** : well shit now im just the odd one out

 **Luke** : you gotta tell us now!!!

 **213-430-0969** : fine fine im julie

 **Flynn** : fuck yeah

 **Alex** : huh???

 **Flynn** : nothing :)

 **Alex** : nothing?

 **Flynn** : nothing!!

 **Alex** : sounds gay to me

 **Luke** : dude,, i can't tell if you're making a joke or insulting them

 **Luke** : if that was an insult then kindly fuck off

 **Alex** : woah nonono not an insult

 **Alex** : sorry if it sounded like one, i would never do that though

 **Reggie** : THANK GOD

 **Julie** : yeah I was ready to boot you out the chat for a second there oml

 **Flynn** : well

 **Flynn** : you weren’t wrong ;)

 **Alex** : aha! it takes a gay to know a gay

 **Alex** : and i deduce that you’re all gay

 **Luke** : not gay, but very much pan

 **Julie** : heck yeah i’m bi!!

 **Flynn** : what has reggie created

 **Alex** : a group of dumb gays who can’t function

 **Luke** : my kinda people

 **Luke** : why do i wanna adopt y'all

 **Alex** : please do

 **Julie** : Reggie?

 **Reggie** : still here

 **Reggie** : i'm bisexual

 **Reggie** : oh my god i've never told anyone that

 **Alex** : wow congrats!!

 **Flynn** : yeah dude that must’ve taken a lot of courage

 **Julie** : glad you told us! :)

 **Luke** : why do I wanna give you a hug

 **Luke** : oh shit did i say that out loud

 **Alex** : dude

 **Alex** : you’re texting,,

 **Flynn** : oh my god we really are just dumb gays

 **Julie** : it’s fate

 **Reggie** : thank you guys

 **Reggie** : so much

 **Reggie** : i don’t even know you wth why are you so kind

 **Reggie** : i'd take that hug for sure

 **Luke** : *virtual hug*

 **Julie** : my heart is so full aw


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group do face reveals and everyone's too gay for their own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some disclaimers that i probably should've mentioned in the first chapter:  
> \- i've switched everyone's ages up to suit me bc i can do that :)  
> \- this takes place in current times instead of the 90s but disregarding covid
> 
> thank you for all your feedback and love on the first chap, it seriously motivates me to write more!

**Flynn** : soooo

 **Flynn** : where do y’all live

 **Julie** : way to start a convo and not sound like a stalker

 **Flynn** : :(((

 **Flynn** : I wanna hang out y’all seem really chill

 **Julie** : same omg

 **Julie** : but like,, not just yet? if that’s ok??

 **Julie** : i wanna get to know you guys first

 **Flynn** : of course that’s ok bby

 **Reggie** : we’re all gonna be in la bc of the area code

 **Reggie** : omg what if we go to the same school though!!

 **Alex** : the odds of that

 **Flynn** : please god

 **Flynn** : everyone at my school hates me

 **Reggie** : i just joined eastside high

 **Alex** : aw no im at mayfair

 **Flynn** : OH MY GOD REGGIE

 **Reggie** : WHAT

 **Flynn** : I GO THERE

 **Reggie** : WHAT???

 **Flynn** : YEAH!!

 **Reggie** : NO WAY

 **Reggie** : where’s luke?? LUUUKE

 **Alex** : hate to break it to you but he can’t hear you dude

 **Reggie** : julie come back!!!

 **Alex** : i think she had a major gay crisis after flynn called her bby

 **Alex** : she’s probably passed out on the floor somewhere

 **Flynn** : ;))

 **Reggie** : oh my god you guys stoppp

 **Reggie** : flynn pls i beg we have to meet up tomorrow

 **Reggie** : i don’t know anyone :(

 **Flynn** : OFC!!

 **Luke** : no fair

 **Luke** : i'm not at any of yalls schools

 **Julie** : neither :(

 **Alex** : useless gay is back in the chat!!

 **Julie** : bi

 **Julie** : i’m bi

 **Alex** : useless _bi_ excuse me

 **Julie** : there you go

____________________

**Flynn to Reggie**

**Flynn** : sooo tomorrow morning I’ll meet you by the bike sheds, kay?

 **Reggie** : bike sheds?

 **Reggie** : dude there are bike sheds??

 **Flynn** : oh jesus alright by the main entrance then

 **Flynn** : pls tell me u know where that is

 **Reggie** : uhhh

 **Flynn** : it’s pretty hard to miss

 **Reggie** : i’ve only been here three days!!

 **Flynn** : you’ll be fiiiine :)

 **Reggie** : i'm blaming you if i get lost

____________________

**Reggie, Julie, Alex, Luke and Flynn**

**Flynn** : y’all reggie doesn't even know where the main entrance of his own school is

 **Reggie** : don’t expose me like that!!

 **Reggie** : i’m new!! and i have bigger things to worry about!!

 **Alex** : how

 **Alex** : just how

 **Luke** : it’s so unfair that you guys get to meet before the rest of us

 **Julie** : why’d you move?

 **Reggie** : that is classified information :/

 **Julie** : oh my god i'm sorry that was probably really insensitive

 **Reggie** : that’s ok

 **Julie** : reggie im so sorry i feel super shitty now

 **Luke** : you're fine julie you didn't know it might be a touchy subject

 **Luke** : reggie you don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to

 **Reggie** : yeah ik

 **Reggie** : thanks

 **Reggie** : it’s alright julie

 **Reggie** : moving onnnn

 **Flynn** : so I was thinking

 **Flynn** : if y’all are comfortable with it

 **Flynn** : maybe we could do like a face reveal??

 **Alex** : you just wanna see julie don’t you

 **Flynn** : *heavy sarcasm* nooo no of course not

 **Flynn** : why would u say that???

 **Luke** : I’m betting Reggie’s the cutest

 **Reggie** : whsodckasfsklsn

 **Julie** : oh no

 **Julie** : reggies broken

 **Julie** : i'd totally be down for that though!!

 **Luke** : same ofc

 **Flynn** : reggie? alex?

 **Julie** : we’ll only do it if we’re all comfortable with it!

 **Reggie** : no yes absolutely i wanna see all of your adorable little faces!!

 **Alex** : i’ll do it if the rest of you are

 **Julie** : that didn’t sound very certain

 **Alex** : it’s just

 **Alex** : nerve-wracking

 **Alex** : i hardly know you guys

 **Luke** : that's fine dude, we won’t do it then

 **Alex** : no i want to

 **Alex** : can i go first though

 **Flynn** : ofc!!

 **Reggie** : i bet ur absolutely adorable

 **Luke** : you got this!!

_[Alex sent a photo]_

**Julie** : OH MY GOD WHY ARE U SO CUTE

 **Reggie** : CALLED IT!!!

 **Flynn** : DUUUDE

 **Alex** : stoppp im blushing

 **Luke** : STOP YOU'RE ADORABLE

 **Flynn** : ok but can we just talk about your hair for a sec

 **Flynn** : it’s just

 **Reggie** : perfect?

 **Flynn** : perfect.

 **Alex** : guys stop omg i'm so bad at taking compliments

 **Alex** : who’s next??

 **Flynn** : julie

 **Alex** : shocker :0

 **Julie** : do i not get a say

 **Flynn** : nope

 **Luke** : what did you expect julie

 **Julie** : alright here ya go!!

_[Julie sent a photo]_

**Luke** : my eyes have been blessed

 **Flynn** : I THINK I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN

 **Flynn** : PLEASE

 **Reggie** : OH MY GOSH UR SO BEAUTIFUL

 **Alex** : so pretty!!

 **Julie** : omg you guys are so kind

 **Julie** : thank youu <333

 **Flynn** : I'M NOT OK

 **Luke** : we’ve lost flynn for good now guys

 **Reggie** : oooh i wanna go next!!

 **Alex** : rip flynn you will be missed

 **Alex** : yes reggie!!

 **Flynn** : STOP I'M NOT DEAD JUST GAY

 **Luke** : FLYNN-

 **Luke:** I'M-

_[Reggie sent a photo]_

**Julie** : UR SO CUTE WTH

 **Luke** : JESUS C H R I S T

 **Reggie** : jesus christ in a good way… or….

 **Luke** : jesus christ as in i don't have any other words left

 **Luke** : so in a totally good way because i was totally right about you being the cutest

 **Luke** : but i didn't know how hot you'd be AS WELL

 **Flynn** : REGGIE

 **Flynn** : LOOK AT U

 **Alex** : firstly

 **Alex** : REGGIE YOU'RE SUPER FREAKING CUTE WTH

 **Reggie** : I MEAN I KNOW I'M CUTE BUT I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS THAT CUTE YOU GUYS

 **Alex** : secondly

 **Alex** : is that flannel i see

 **Flynn** : are we even surprised

 **Julie** : we are not at all surprised

 **Luke** : still recovering but

 **Luke** : i’ll go next!!

 **Flynn** : FIGHT ME BITCH

 **Flynn** : IM NOT GOING LAST

 **Julie** : I vote flynn :)

 **Luke** : THATS NOT FAIR UR BIASED

 **Julie** : how am i biased???

 **Alex** : aw look she’s so oblivious

 **Reggie** : I VOTE LUKE

 **Luke** : thanks reg!!

 **Flynn** : was that a

 **Flynn** : was that a nickname

 **Flynn** : adorable

 **Flynn** : alex you decide

 **Alex** : nonono

 **Alex** : the pressure

 **Alex** : im gonna go with flynn bc i don’t wanna me murdered in my sleep!!

 **Flynn** : right answer :))

 **Luke** : are you insinuating that i _wouldn’t_ murder you in your sleep?

 **Alex** : i think i’d rather take my chances with you sorry dude

_[Flynn sent a photo]_

**Reggie** : FLYNN

 **Reggie** : FLYNNFLYNNFLYNN

 **Reggie** : YOU’RE GORGEOUS

 **Luke** : I SECOND THAT OMG

 **Julie** : H@OLYSGKHIT

 **Reggie** : is julie ok?

 **Luke** : i'm gonna go with a hard no

 **Alex** : WHAT

 **Alex** : YOU SAID MY HAIR WAS PRETTY BUT

 **Alex** : YOURS IS ANOTHER LEVEL

 **Julie** : KASNFLKLFSL

 **Flynn** : julie

 **Flynn** : babe

 **Reggie** : NO STOP YOU'LL MAKE THE GAY CRISIS WORSE

 **Julie** : JSKFKSLDKFVKVS

 **Reggie** : EXACTLY

 **Luke** : i've got so much to be compared with now

 **Luke** : s o m u c h

 **Reggie** : betcha they won’t compare though

 **Flynn** : what was that reggie??

 **Alex** : has someone got a crush??

 **Flynn** : he most definitely has!!

 **Alex** : awwww!!

 **Reggie** : stfu both of you >:(

 **Julie** : aww don't be mean to reggie

 **Julie** : luke it's your turn!!

_[Luke sent a photo]_

**Alex** : HOT DAMN

 **Julie** : OH MY GOSH LOOK AT YOU

 **Flynn** : luke: oh my gawd i've got so much to be compared with now oh woe is me ill never compete

 **Flynn** : also luke: *casually posts smoking hot picture*

 **Luke** : i'm gonna ignore that and choose to focus on the bit where you said ‘woe is me’

 **Luke** : what are you

 **Luke** : also i crave validation where's reggie gone

 **Alex** : i'm gonna take a guess and say hes still here he just can't form words

 **Reggie** : STILL HERE

 **Reggie** : STILL HAVING A SMALL CRISIS

 **Reggie** : luke i have a question

 **Luke** : yeah?

 **Reggie** : are you even real

 **Reggie** : i feel like i dreamt u up

 **Flynn** : am i the only one who thought reggie was about to propose for a second there

 **Reggie** : FLYNN

 **Luke** : @flynn i wish

 **Reggie** : LUKE

 **Alex** : no me too flynn

 **Reggie** : ALEX

 **Reggie** : I CANT BREATHE

 **Reggie** : WHAT IS MY LIFE

 **Julie** : well done guys you broke him again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i needed two characters to meet each other irl first for plot purposes hence reggie and flynn going to the same school. the next chapter will be the start of traditional writing being integrated with the chat format!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reggie ambushes flynn and they hit it off immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this marks the start of traditional writing combined with the chat format!  
> once again, thank you so much for the love on this fic so far! it makes me so happy <33  
> you guys have no idea how great it feels to be able to update this so fast because of the groupchat format, idk why i've never done it before

Reggie’s never been specifically a _nervous_ kind of person. He’s the kind of person that probably should be a little more nervous about most things because he thrusts himself towards them with little restraint and usually ends up making people hate him. So he’s not nervous about meeting Flynn, not at all. A little worried she might end up hating him though.

The group chat had been some kind of miracle. It had been a spur of the moment decision heeded by his low impulse control but had turned into a safe haven for him in just two days. And to find out Flynn goes to his school _too_ , made his week 10x better than it would’ve ended up being otherwise, considering people seem to generally be avoiding him and the few he’d tried to initiate conversations with had had little or nothing to say.

Reggie glances up from his phone where he’d been loading and then reloading the chat over and over again for new messages, aware that he’s probably being obsessive and clingy. The school grounds are already buzzing with students, even though he’s far too early. Sue him if he doesn’t want to stay in his house longer than is absolutely necessary. He can’t see any sign of Flynn yet though, even if he’s only going off the selfie that she’d sent yesterday.

 **Reggie** : flynnnn

 **Reggie** : where are youuuu

 **Luke** : you sure you’re in the right place reg?

 **Reggie** : well unless i’ve managed to turn up at the wrong school by accident

 **Alex** : i wouldn’t put it past you

 **Reggie** : >:(

 **Flynn** : HOLD ON I’M FIVE MINUTES AWAY

 **Julie** : woah no need to shout its seven in the morning

 **Alex** : julie

 **Alex** : julie you can’t shout over text

 **Julie** : well i heard it through the phone

 **Julie** : and it was far too loud for my poor half asleep brain to handle

 **Flynn** : oh no i’m sorry bby

 **Luke** : guys

 **Luke** : was that

 **Alex** : oh my god it was

 **Reggie** : did we just witness flynn being…

 **Reggie** : _soft???_

 **Luke** : who is she

 **Flynn** : stfu

 **Flynn** : only for julie

 **Julie** : :DD

 **Reggie** : what about me :((

 **Flynn** : and occasionally reggie

 **Alex** : what about me :((

 **Flynn** : not happening alex

 **Alex** : IT WORKED WITH REGGIE

 **Julie** : again with the shouting

 **Flynn** : i have a soft spot for reggie

 **Reggie** : she has a soft spot for me!!!!

Reggie doesn’t realise he’s grinning at his phone for the whole five minutes of the conversation until he looks up and the guy walking past him is giving him a weird look. He quickly tones down his smile, glancing at the car park again. His heart jumps. The girl climbing out of the car certainly _resembles_ the photo Flynn had sent yesterday, dark skin and long, black braids framing her face. She’s tall, too, though that might just be the chunky, black heeled boots she’s wearing. And the outfit- it screams _flynn_ ; bold and assertive, bright red pinafore dress and black knee high socks and- oh my god was she wearing a fedora- yes it was most definitely Flynn. It had to be.

Without thinking, Reggie’s running at the girl, flinging himself at her and enveloping her in a hug, realising only a second too late that most people don’t hug when first meeting someone.

“Do I know you??” Flynn practically yells, trying to disentangle his arms from around her and extricate herself from his embrace. Reggie gets that distinct dropping feeling in his stomach, the horrible one that tells him he’s messed something up already. But then she pulls back a little and takes in his face.

“Reggie?!” She asks, and then, squeals, “Oh my god! Dude, I was about to fucking karate you into the ground!”

She returns his hug tenfold, and Reggie breathes out in relief, realising that while most people might have been weirded out by Reggie’s disregard for boundaries, Flynn was definitely not most people.

“You’re exactly how I pictured you, what the hell,” Flynn mutters when they pull back properly, running a hand over his flannel shirt with a smirk.

“Can we go back to the part where you said you were going to karate me into the ground?”

“You ambushed me! What else would I have done!” Flynn protests and Reggie’s face aches from grinning so wide. He doesn’t think he’s ever smiled so much.

“Literally anything else?” Reggie suggests.

Flynn flips him off with a grin and then squeals again, grabbing both of his arms tightly.

“We need to tell the others!”

“Hold on,” he mutters, pulling up the camera on his phone. He holds it up, leans into her side and sticks his tongue out stupidly. The resulting photo is Reggie looking bug-eyed, tongue stuck out to the side and Flynn, arm hooked around his shoulder laughing so hard she’s practically a blur. He sends it anyway and then takes another and sends that too.

_[Reggie sent a photo]_

_[Reggie sent a photo]_

**Reggie** : I found her!!!

 **Flynn** : guys he’s even more of a dork in real life oh my jesus

 **Flynn** : he literally ambushed me

 **Luke** : NOT FAIR REGGIE PLS AMBUSH ME INSTEAD

 **Alex** : THE CUTEST

 **Luke** : I WISH I WAS THERE WITH YALL

 **Julie** : u look so pretty when u smile

 **Luke** : which one

 **Alex** : reggie obviously

 **Alex** : WHO DO YOU THINK SHE’S TALKING ABT

Reggie glances up at Flynn who’s-

“Oh my god are you _blushing_?” Reggie squawks. Flynn directs a sharp glare at him.

“No,” she snaps unconvincingly.

 **Reggie** : GUYS FLYNNS BLUSHING

 **Reggie** : SHES BLUSJDKSKS KS

 **Alex** : i believe he’s been ambushed

 **Luke** : flynn pls don’t hurt him!!

 **Julie** : FSAKSKDMSLS

 **Luke** : JULIE STOP BEING GAY REGGIES IN DANGER

“Noooo, _Flynn_!!” Reggie protests as she grapples his phone off of him. He pouts at her. Then his eyes catch on the pins lining her black jacket. They’re brightly coloured and plentiful, all with different catchphrases and symbols on. Reggie’s eyes catch onto four of them in particular. One, that’s clearly the lesbian flag in the shape of a heart, another that’s a banner and says ‘be gay, do crimes’, another that says ‘fuck you I’m gay’, and the last is a small, rainbow heart with ‘love is love’ written across the middle. Flynn follows his gaze.

“Either you’re staring at my tits or my assortment of pride badges,” she states loudly and Reggie flushes a deep red.

“The badges! I was looking at the badges!” he assures her hurriedly. “You’re fully out then?” he asks quietly.

“Yes,” she cocks her head to the side, studying him and then breaks the stare, “Hey, you can have one if you want?”

“What?” Reggie asks, sure he must’ve misheard, “No. No, that’s okay. I wouldn’t want to take th-”

Flynn rolls her eyes at him and tugs the small rainbow ‘love is love’ heart off her jacket. “Reggie, it’s fine, I’ve got tons of them at home.”

She presses it firmly into his palm and Reggie feels suddenly emotional. He stares at it; the pin’s small and simplistic, it isn’t outwardly a declaration of his bisexuality but makes him feel proud all the same. Bonus points for the fact that his parents wouldn’t even notice it; not that they take any notice of him anyway. He smiles softly at her.

“Thanks, Flynn,” he whispers, securing the pin to the pocket on his flannel shirt.

“Anytime, you absolute dork,” she grins, slinging an arm around his shoulders and handing his phone back, “We should really be going though or we’ll be late for class.”

____________________

 **Flynn** : GUYS

 **Flynn** : YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I FOUND OUT ABT REGGIE TODAY

 **Alex** : lemme guess

 **Alex** : he’s working undercover for the russian cia!

 **Julie** : he’s got a birthmark on his knee that looks like italy?

 **Luke** : he has a secret obsession with country music?

 **Flynn** : no wtf y’all are weird

 **Reggie** : ...luke

 **Reggie** : I might have something to tell you abt that

 **Luke** : NO SHIT

 **Luke** : IM PSYCHIC REGGIE LIKES COUNTRY MUSIC

 **Julie** : i could have told u that

 **Alex** : yeah he has a vibe

 **Reggie** : WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

 **Flynn** : ANYWAY

 **Flynn** : y’all get so off topic so quickly

 **Flynn** : REGGIE’S FULL NAME IS REGINALD

 **Alex** : dear god

 **Luke** : reginald can you please confirm you _weren’t_ born in like 1800

 **Julie** : AHAHA REGINALD

 **Reggie** : FLYNN WHAT HAVE U DONE

 **Flynn** : you’re welcome :)

 **Alex** : so did your parents like look at tiny little baby you and just think

 **Alex** : ah yes, looks like a reginald to me… or??

 **Luke** : … or???

 **Reggie** : JULIE THEY'RE BEING MEAN TO ME

 **Julie** : sorry reginald

 **Julie** : I’m with them on this one

 **Julie** : that’s hilarious

 **Reggie** : I HATE ALL OF YOU

 **Alex** : no you don’t :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reggie and luke talk at 3am and the group discuss parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not totally happy with how this chapter worked out but i just couldn't get it right. hope it reads ok!  
> although this is clearly a reggie-centric fic i really want to bring in some other characters' perspectives every now and then? would that make it inconsistent or would y'all not mind? if so would you rather see alex or julie next chapter? please lmk!!

**Luke** : anyone up?

 **Reggie** : luke

 **Reggie** : it’s 3am

 **Luke** : yes i can read the time thank u

 **Reggie** : shouldn’t you be asleep

 **Luke** : shouldn’t u

 **Reggie** : fair point

 **Reggie** : are you ok?

 **Luke** : can’t a guy stay up till 3am without getting questioned abt it

 **Reggie** : …

 **Reggie** : hey d’you wanna

 **Reggie** : i mean only if you want

 **Reggie** : would you wanna call

 **Reggie** : unless you have plans to go to sleep anytime soon

 **Reggie** : it’s fine if you can’t

 **Reggie** : just wondering

 **Luke** : i’d like that

 **Luke** : yeah

Reggie stares at the glowing screen in the pressing darkness of his room. He panics. He doesn’t know why he asked in the first place; maybe because the loneliness is almost claustrophobic at this point. Maybe because the silence is deafening, far too quiet after hours of screaming that trembled the window sills and shook the very foundations of what was supposed to be his home. But now Luke’s ringing him and the phone’s vibrating in his palm and Reggie’s heart is thundering in his chest and he doesn’t know why- he answers.

“H-hi?” he mumbles into the silence.

There’s an exhale of breath and then, “Hey, Reg.”

His voice is rough and smooth all at once, washing over Reggie like warm water. Reggie’s lips twitch at the nickname from the other boy’s mouth.

“Y’know that Reggie is technically already a nickname in itself for Reginald so when you call me Reg you’re like _nick_ nicknaming me.”

Luke scoffs. “Sorry, _Reginald_ , but I don’t think that’s a thing.”

“Well _I_ think it _is_.”

A soft laugh crackles down the phone and then a tired sigh. “You ok?” Reggie asks quietly, knowing Luke will probably dodge the question again. He doesn’t blame him. Reggie’s always hated that question.

“Yeah,” he mutters, and then pauses for a long time and Reggie begins to think that’s it. “Just… Is there something you really love doing? That you wouldn’t give up for anyone?”

“Luke, if you’re about to tell me you have a smoking habit-”

Sometimes Reggie hates his inability to be serious in situations that call for it but when Luke chuckles down the phone he feels relief seep through him. He relaxes back onto his bed, wrapping his blanket around himself and listening to Luke speak softly over the phone line.

“Yeah, definitely Reg. No, but don’t you though? Have something you love doing more than anything else? Or someone?”

Reggie bursts out laughing at that, cutting off sharply when he hears the creak of bed springs from the other room. “Do I have some _one_ I love doing more than anything else?” he whispers, voice shaking with laughter.

“You know what I meant.”

Reggie stares at the dark shadow of his guitar, propped in the corner of his room and understands. “Yeah. I do.”

“And you wouldn’t give it up? No matter what people said?” Luke asks. His voice has taken on a sort of desperate, pleading note that makes Reggie’s stomach flip with uncertainty. He’s not sure what the right answer is here - he knows what it _should_ be of course - but he’s no idea what Luke’s really talking about.

“No I wouldn’t,” he says anyway, with conviction.

Luke mumbles something indecipherable down the phone in answer.

“What?”

Luke continues to ramble nonsensically, only a few words standing out - ‘music’, ‘love’ and ‘can’t’ over and over. Reggie turns the volume up on his phone.

“Luke- Luke you’re rambling,” Reggie tells him, pricking his ears. Something distinctly sounding like a car rumbles over the line.

“I just mean-”

“Where are you?” Reggie interrupts sharply, all thoughts of the previous topic disappearing from his mind as his chest seizes with concern and a sudden need to know what’s going on. “Luke. Are you outside?”

“...Yes.”

“It’s four in the morning!” Reggie protests, not even caring about waking his parents up anymore. He’s overcome with an urge to do something but drowning in the reality of not actually being _able_ to do anything. “Luke- what- I don’t-”

“It’s alright, Reg.”

Blazing frustration makes itself known in Reggie’s chest as he yanks the phone away from his ear and stares at it in disbelief, because it’s _not_. It’s _not_ alright. “No it isn’t!” Reggie challenges. Then, softer, “Luke why aren’t you at home?”

“I had a row,” he mutters, exhaustion colouring his voice. The way he says it; Reggie knows it’s not the first time. “With my parents.”

Part of Reggie wants to relate and sympathize, but he’s not stupid enough to think his parents would ever take enough notice of him to actually argue with him over something. Sometimes he wishes they would. “Luke…,” Reggie murmurs softly, “Do you have somewhere you can go? A friend’s?”

“No. It’s fine, Reg, it’s okay I promise. I’ll go back tomorrow.”

It’s a weak promise though. Reggie doesn’t miss the aversion of ‘ _I’m_ fine’ and ‘ _I’m_ okay’.

“Ok,” he says regrettably, because there’s nothing more he can do, “Talk to me then. What’s this thing you love enough to have a row with your parents over?”

“I never said that’s what we were arguing about.”

“Contrary to what most people think, I’m not stupid, Luke.”

“Alright, alright… it’s my music,” he mutters, “I know- Look, I’m aware that it’s stupid, but I want to do it professionally or something. Maybe join a band, I don’t know…”

Reggie’s heart stutters. “That’s not stupid!” He insists, to which Luke scoffs, “No, seriously, Luke. That’s not stupid at all! That’s- that’s horrible that you love something that much and the people that are supposed to support you are disregarding it. Luke, I’m not just saying so to be nice - I really think that’s amazing, and it’s not stupid at all.”

Luke stays silent for a long time and Reggie wishes, more than anything, that he was there with him. “Thanks, Reggie,” he whispers.

“Also, I play guitar!”

“Really?” Luke’s tone brightens and gains an excited lilt that makes Reggie’s pulse pick up much too unnecessarily.

“Yeah! Mostly bass though. What do you play?”

“Guitar. And I sing, and write music.”

Now Reggie’s in trouble. A cute boy who plays guitar and _sings_? His mind fumbles for an appropriate response.

“That’s- I mean- That’s-” He stutters, flustered, and then, because his brain hates him and it’s the only thing circulating in there, he blurts out, “That’s really fucking cute.”

A soft laugh. Reggie pictures Luke blushing, biting his lip and ducking his head. Or not, Reggie’s mind quickly catches up - for all he knows he might’ve just made Luke really uncomfortable.

“Thanks, Reg!” Luke’s voice is teasing, and he can hear the smirk in it, but it’s reassuring all the same.

The topic changes, rolls into something different again and again until it’s not 3am anymore and there’s light seeping into the darkness of Reggie’s room and finally, _finally_ he feels his eyelids droop.

“Reg?” Luke asks gently.

“Still here,” Reggie mumbles sleepily, “‘m gonna sleep now. Sorry. Promise you’ll go back home? Or at least somewhere safe?”

He doesn’t listen long enough to hear the other boy’s answer as he succumbs to his exhaustion, but a whispered promise breaks into his dreams of a group of friends that _care_ , a band, music - a family.

____________________

 **Julie** : what were you doing up at 3 IN THE MORNING???

 **Julie** : seriously guys that’s not healthy

 **Julie** : are you ok though?

 **Alex** : mother hen julie to the rescue

 **Alex** : also

 **Alex** : i'm feeling distinctly left out here

 **Alex** : you guys called each other

 **Alex** : WITHOUT ME

 **Julie** : we should do like a group video call sometime!! when everyones free ofc

 **Alex** : yes!!!

 **Luke** : shush reggies sleeping

 **Alex** : its 11am -.-

 **Julie** : in case you forgot alex

 **Julie** : those dumbasses stayed up till like 5am or smthn

 **Julie** : and back on that topic

 **Julie** : luke are you ok?

 **Alex** : yeah you know we’re always here if you wanna talk

 **Luke** : I’m fine guys

 **Luke** : I just had an argument with my parents

 **Alex** : shitty parents club unite!!

 **Luke** : no

 **Luke** : they’re not bad parents exactly

 **Luke** : we just disagree on some stuff

 **Luke** : a lot

 **Alex** : oh

 **Alex** : right

 **Luke** : you know that if _you_ wanna talk we’re always here too right?

 **Alex** : yeahh

 **Flynn** : well this is a cheery conversation to walk into on this fine saturday morning

 **Alex** : :)

 **Alex** : where did julie go?

 **Flynn** : that’s what i wanna know


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julie confides in Flynn and the group video call.

**Luke** : julie?

 **Alex** : maybe she’s busy

 **Flynn** : yeah but still

 **Reggie** : what’s going on

 **Luke** : julie left

 **Reggie** : that sounds ominous

 **Reggie** : i’m sure she’s fine

 **Reggie** : right?

 **Flynn** : reggie no offense but you’re not the most sympathetic person

 **Luke** : alright chill out

 **Luke** : reggies plenty sympathetic

 **Alex** : she’s just worried about the love of her life

 **Flynn** : fuck OFF alex

 **Reggie** : i was trying to be reassuring :/

 **Flynn** : sorry reggie

 **Reggie** : that’s okay, i know you’re worried

 **Reggie** : but she genuinely might have just gone to get a snack

 **Alex** : exactly i think we’re overreacting here

 **Flynn** : i’m gonna call her

____________________

Julie sits on her bed, staring down at the phone that she’s discarded beside her, watching the screen brighten with message after message before sinking back into darkness. From the group chat, from Flynn, from Luke, from people that give a damn whether she’s okay or not. The feeling has grown somewhat foreign to Julie, aside from her family. She flips the phone over so it’s face down.

This visceral pain she’s feeling is familiar now, but it doesn’t hurt any less; the gripping sensation in her chest that feels like there’s some kind of vice around her heart, the one that makes her breath catch and her voice tremble. The one she’s grown to despise so much. Julie raises shaking hands up to her face and lets out a shuddering exhale. She doesn’t know how she’s ever meant to get over this.

She startles at the sound of her phone ringing through the silence of her room. She draws her hands away from her face slowly, peeking at the offending object.

 _Flynn_ it reads when she turns it over, drawing her hand back quickly as though the mere touch would burn right through her fragility.

Her dad’s voice rings in her ears, his constant reassurances that _it will get better_ , that all she needs to do is talk about it. Julie’s not naive, not like Carlos. She knows that’s not true. But she desperately wants it to be. She wants to forget, to rewind back to being held in her Mother’s arms, feeling the warmth of her embrace, her breath tickle her cheek with laughter.

“Flynn?” she asks, picking up the phone and swiping it across. She can hear yelling in the background, kids laughing and squealing, it’s a sharp punch in the gut when compared with the silence of Julie’s own house.

“Julie!” A door slams and the other voices grow muted as Flynn’s grows stronger. It hits Julie hard then, that the voice on the other end is _real_ , it’s _Flynn_ , this group of people that she’s grown to love like a family in the space of just seven days are _actual_ _people_. It feels earth shattering to Julie. “Hi! You disappeared and we were just wondering if you were okay? I mean you might’ve just gone to get a snack or something or - _I_ dunno you might actually have a _life_ unlike the rest of us. Just wanted to check in?”

Julie lets the other girl’s voice seep through her and warm her from her bones. She suddenly feels like crying.

“Also this is totally weird, like, actually talking to you,” Flynn continues, and then when Julie still doesn’t say anything, the words sticking stubbornly in her throat, “Hey, you still there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here,” Julie answers, her voice coming out croaky from unshed tears.

“Julie- Juls, what’s wrong?” Flynn’s voice softens considerably.

“My mum,” She manages, and the tears are there - they’re _there_ but they won’t fall. Julie won’t let them.

“Your mum?”

“She’s- She-,” the word catches and burns in her throat, “She’s _dead_.”

Flynn’s sudden silence echoes down the phone. “I’m _so_ sorry. Julie, I can’t even imagine-”

“No. Stop, it’s okay,” Julie says hurriedly, because she’s tired of all the apologies and reassurances at this point, “I just- when everyone was talking about their parents- I don’t know why- I just-”

“Of course,” Flynn murmurs, “Julie, that’s alright, of course you feel like that.”

Somehow Julie had managed to hold it together up until that point, but those words, validating how she feels, draw out raw sobs from somewhere deep and painful in her chest. She brings the trembling hand that isn’t holding her phone back up to her face, pressing it against her eyes as the hot tears spill out over her cheeks. She flushes, burning with embarrassment even though Flynn isn’t there to see her fall apart.

“Oh no, no, Julie, it’s alright,” Flynn says, “It’s okay, I’m here.”

“God, I’m sorry,” Julie sobs, “Our first phone call and I’m having a breakdown.”

“Julie, I don’t mind. I’m here to listen, whatever you want to talk about, okay?”

She’s not ready to talk about it yet. She clutches at the phone like a lifeline, soaking it with tears as she presses the cold surface to her cheek in a desperate attempt to bring Flynn closer.

“I can talk instead if you want? Take your mind off it?” Flynn suggests, and Julie’s sure she read her mind.

“Please.”

“Okay, alright. So me and Reggie, we’ve been hanging out between lessons now obviously - we don’t have any lessons together though which is _rude_ \- and yesterday we met up for lunch and d’you know who he was talking about? Luke! I’m certain he’s got a big fat crush but he talks about all four of us with so much admiration I’m beginning to think he’s got a crush on all of us at this point-”

Julie giggles at that. “I wouldn’t put it past him,” she mumbles.

“It’s a bit awkward though - I mean how am I supposed to break it to him? Sorry, dude, in case you’d forgot, I’m only interested in chicks?” Flynn cackles. “His little face would be so disappointed.”

Flynn talks and talks about school, her family, even the woman that lives down the road from her that Flynn’s certain is some kind of cat hoarder. Eventually, Julie’s joining in, too.

“I’ve gotta go, Juls,” Flynn says guiltily an hour later, “My brothers just got home and my little sisters will wreak havoc on them if I don’t go and mediate. Will you be ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Go be a scary, big sister.”

Flynn growls jokingly down the phone line, “I’m terrifying, don’t you think? See you, Julie.”

“Bye, Flynn,” Julie says, “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to _thank_ me, Juls,” Flynn replies and Julie can _hear_ the roll of her eyes in her voice. “I liked talking to you.”

Julie flushes, “Yeah, y-you too.”

Her dad comes in minutes after she’s hung up, face a picture of mixed intrigue and concern. “You okay, honey?” he asks, “I thought I heard you crying earlier but then I heard you talking to someone and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Julie wipes the left over wetness from under her eyes and nods, patting the bed as an invitation for her dad to sit, “I’m okay,” she says, as he settles beside her, “Just thinking about mum.”

“Oh, Julie,” he whispers.

“I’m okay,” she repeats, “But there’s something else I want to talk about?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s this girl…”

__________________

 **Luke** : who’s free rn??

 **Alex** : me

 **Julie** : i am!

 **Alex** : julie, you’re back!!

 **Reggie** : me!!

 **Reggie** : julie!!! are you okay?

 **Julie** : i’m okay reggie thanks for asking

 **Flynn** : luke if the next words out of your keyboard are video call i’ll love you forever

 **Alex** : won’t julie be jealous

 **Luke** : yeah! exactly what i was gonna say flynn!

 **Reggie** : flynn,,, you’d cheat on your wife??

 **Flynn** : p l a t o n i c a l l y

 **Flynn** : i’d platonically love you forever luke

 **Flynn** : y’all r dumb

 **Alex** : lol she didn’t even correct the ‘wife’

 **Julie** : I’M RIGHT HERE GUYS

 **Julie** : EVERYTIME

 **Reggie** : video call!!

 **Flynn** : reggies attention span is about as big as the chance of us ever actually being able to stay on topic

 **Reggie** : >:(

 **Julie** : are we doing this on skype?

 **Luke** : that works for me

 **Alex** : same

 **Flynn** : if that’s what works for everyone else

 **Reggie** : yup!!

____________________

Julie’s heart is thudding loudly in her ears as she pulls up skype on her phone, bouncing her leg with nerves. She can’t pinpoint _why_ exactly she’s nervous, considering she literally had a breakdown over the phone to Flynn the day before, but her palms are clammy and she can’t stop thinking about scenarios where she’ll end up looking like an idiot. Maybe, it’s mostly excitement.

The five of them drop their usernames into the chat and Julie quickly adds them to one on skype to get everyone together.

 **Juliee.molinaa** : everyone here?

 **Luke345** : yup!

 **Dogs_forever** : yep!!

 **AlexReynolds** : um

 **AlexReynolds** : who is dogs_forever

 **Flynnflynn** : who do u think dumbass

 **Luke345** : it wasn’t gonna be flynn was it

 **Dogs_forever** : hey don’t be mean :((

 **Juliee.molina** : good taste reggie!!!

 **AlexReynolds** : yeah dogs forever woo!!

 **Flynnflynn** : nerd

 **AlexReynolds** : am i the only one who’s srsly nervous about this though :/

 **Juliee.molina** : omg no me too alex

 **Flynnflynn** : it’ll be fine!!

 **Luke345** : alright let’s do this

Julie clicks the call button without hesitation. Four faces pop up on the screen and Julie’s certain she hears someone squeal in excitement. She’s placing all her bets on Reggie.

“What’s up, guys!” The voice comes from the top of her screen and she finds Luke’s face, smiling easily and confidently.

“Hi!” Flynn says. Julie stares, wide-eyed at her, at her smile, her eyes, her skin, her hair. She feels like she needs to take it all in, commit it to memory. Part of her tells her she needs to address why exactly she feels the need to do so for Flynn and no one else; she ignores it. Flynn’s wearing a loose white sweater that states ‘ _woman_ _up_ ’ across the front and what looks like a pair of green dungarees over the top with flowers and rainbows stitched into them. Julie feels a little underdressed in her favourite plain, black hoodie.

“Who d’you wanna bet Julie’s ogling at?” Luke teases, laughing, and Julie flushes bright red at being caught out. Flynn’s smirking and the others are laughing, any tension from before gone with the ease of Luke's voice.

“Look at her blushing!” Reggie teases.

“Huh,” Alex speaks up from the bottom corner for the first time, “Would you look at that, Reggie’s wearing flannel!”

“He’s bisexual, what do you expect,” Julie grins, tugging down her hoodie so that they can see the flannel shirt she’s wearing underneath it.

“Yes Julie!!” Reggie yells.

“Please god, save us from the bisexuals and their flannel,” Flynn mutters from her corner, mimicking a prayer.

They all laugh and then fall silent a moment, watching their screens. Julie takes the moment to take in each of their faces; Alex, smiling a little nervously, blonde hair parted down the middle and a pink hoodie swamping him; Luke, who’s grinning at the screen easily and has a blue beanie tugged down over his hair; Reggie, who’s staring at the screen like Julie is, probably trying to commit their faces to memory as she is too, wearing a Queen T-shirt with his flannel over the top; and Flynn, who’s smiling at the screen, and to Julie it feels like her eyes are only on her.

“So… “ Alex starts hesitantly, “How’s everyone’s weekend going?”

Julie snorts with laughter, thinking about her breakdown over the phone to Flynn yesterday.

“Heh, not great,” Luke mutters, adjusting his beanie.

“Yeah. Could’ve been better,” Reggie chimes in, eyeing something past the screen.

“Well, mine was great, Alex, thanks for asking!” Flynn says, smiling brightly, her eyes twinkling in a way that makes Julie’s stomach flip. “Jeez, y’all are so depressing! Lighten it up, huh?”

Alex laughs. “Glad yours was okay, Flynn.”

“How was your’s, Alex?” Reggie jumps in brightly.

“Pretty good, I guess,” he smiles, and then, quieter, as though he’s confessing something terrible, “Talking with you guys always makes it better though.”

“Yeah.”

“Same.”

“Me too.”

“Same,” they all murmur in agreement. For some reason it makes her feel relieved; that she’s not the only one feeling like this, that she’s become as important to them as they have to her, that she’s not alone. Julie feels a sudden, strong sense of kinship towards the four of them and beams widely.

“You guys are the best,” she tells them.

“Thanks, Julie,” Luke says softly.

“Of course we are, duh,” Flynn grins.

“Can we meet?” Reggie asks, “I really wanna meet all of you!”

“We’ve known each other for a week-” Julie starts, nerves bubbling back up.

“Yeah, I don’t want to rush into meeting or anything,” Alex agrees, and Julie watches Reggie’s face drop with guilt.

“We won’t do it until everyone’s comfortable,” Luke nods, “Besides, Reg, you’ve got Flynn.”

Julie feels a surge of jealousy that she can’t explain and doesn't really want to. As much as she wants to hold off on meeting up for a little while, she doesn’t like the idea of Reggie and Flynn growing comfortable with each other before she can even get a chance to meet her- them.

“Dude, don’t,” Flynn says, “He’s already driving me crazy.”

Reggie fake pouts at her and she blows him a kiss over the screen and Julie holds back a grimace and then feels horrible for doing so. She needs to get a handle on whatever this feeling is.

“Also!” Reggie pipes up again, “I was wondering - well Luke and I were wondering - do any of you guys play an instrument?”

Julie’s stomach drops again, only this time it plummets right through the floor and onwards. She stares at the leave call button.

“I do!” Alex answers, “I play the drums.”

“Just what we need!” Luke says, “See, Reggie and I were talking and I’ve always wanted to be in some kind of band. I’m… well I’m pretty serious about music, I play guitar and sing. Reggie plays bass.”

“Me too. I’ve always thought about being in a band but I never really considered it a possibility,” Alex is grinning and Julie really, _really_ wants to say something but at the same time she just wants to slam her phone down, burrow under the covers of her bed and stay there forever.

“I’m surrounded by music geeks, lord help me,” Flynn smiles fondly.

“Who are you calling geek?”

“Yeah, I’ll have you know we’re members of the coolest rock band around now,” Reggie pouts.

“Well, I guess it’s just you and me huh Julie?” Flynn asks. Julie ducks her head, thinking of the feel of piano keys beneath her fingertips, the applause of a crowd, the microphone gripped in her hand, her mum and her sat side by side on the piano stool voices intertwining and tangling into one.

“I uh-,” Julie stutters out, not looking back up at her phone but gripping it with an intensity that she’s sure could shatter it, “No, I used to play piano. And I used to sing.”

“Used to?” Reggie asks, tilting his head on one side, “Why’d you stop?”

Flynn’s staring at her in understanding, and Julie wonders just how the girl is so perceptive.

“That’s great!” Luke jumps in, his face lit up with excitement, “When we all meet up we should play together!”

“Woah, woah, slow down, Luke,” Alex says, face scrunched up in concern, “She said she _used_ to. Juls, you alright?”

Julie’s spent years now without any close friends, not after Carrie, so she’s forgotten what it’s like to have someone, besides her family, to confide in. But she trusts the four people watching her earnestly through the screen. It’s odd, Julie thinks, how she went years without that and found it again within a week. So the words that leave her mouth next are in confidence that the four of them will understand her completely.

“I used to play with my Mum,” she says, “She died last year.”

There’s a short silence while everyone digests her words. She hears a soft ‘Julie’ from Flynn.

“That’s- Julie, I’m so sorry,” Luke speaks up first.

“Yeah, we had no idea,” Alex murmurs.

“That’s okay. Just… I’d like to sing with you guys, too, but I might need a little time.”

“That’s totally fine,” Alex reassures.

“Yeah, of course, Julie,” Reggie joins in.

“Take as long as you need.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is sort of a filler chapter, but also just a purely selfish fluffy chapter that was 100% needed before we get into the rest of the story!!  
> as always thank you so much for all the love - kudos and comments mean the world <3

**Reggie** : guys

 **Reggie** : guys

 **Reggie** : guys

 **Reggie** : guysguysguysguys

 **Alex** : whats happened??

 **Alex** : reggie are you dying???

 **Reggie** : nope!

 **Alex** : what’s going on then??

 **Reggie** : I found a puppy!!!

 **Alex** : DUDE

 **Alex** : I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK

 **Alex** : OVER A PUPPY

 **Luke** : u worry too much dude

 **Alex** : REGGIE STRESSES ME OUT TOO MUCH

 **Julie** : EXCUSE ME CAN WE GO BACK TO THE PART WHERE REGGIE FOUND A PUPPY

 **Alex** : actually yes on second thought

 **Alex** : i think i’ve got a right to see this puppy now

 **Alex** : don’t hold out on us now reggie show me the puppy

_[Reggie sent a photo]_

**Reggie** : sorry he wouldn’t stay still for a photo

 **Reggie** : i found him when i was cycling back from school

 **Luke** : alright reggie i’d like to know how you’re literally a carbon copy of that puppy

 **Julie** : LOOK AT THEM SMILING AT THE CAMERA

 **Julie** : REGGIE YOU AND THAT PUPPY ARE LITERALLY TWINS

 **Alex** : guys i’m tearing up

 **Alex** : i can’t handle it

 **Alex** : it’s too cute for me to handle

 **Flynn** : hello???

 **Flynn** : i open my phone to a photo of reggie and a puppy, my day could quite literally not get any better

 **Alex** : reggie i think everyone’s in love w you now

 **Reggie** : fsaskfkaselk

 **Julie** : correction ***reggie i think everyone’s been in love with you all along

 **Flynn** : especially luke

 **Luke** : what

 **Reggie** : WHAT???

 **Alex** : W H AT ? ? ??

 **Alex** : sorry i just wanted to be included

 **Flynn** : :)

 **Reggie** : ok but guys i don’t know how to look after a puppy help

 **Julie** : YOU’RE KEEPING IT??

 **Alex** : he’s keeping it!!!

 **Julie** : reggie that might be someone else’s puppy!! they might have lost it!!

 **Luke** : julie no

 **Luke** : now is not the time to be responsible

 **Luke** : we want the puppy.

 **Reggie** : :((((

 **Reggie** : you upset him now juls

_[Reggie sent a photo]_

**Flynn** : NOOOO

 **Alex** : JULIE TAKE IT BACK

 **Alex** : ...you have got a point though

 **Julie** : THANK YOU

 **Julie** : look reggie for all you know no one will claim it and you can keep it anyway

 **Reggie** : i guess

 **Reggie** : i’ll ring the local vets and put some posters up but if no one claims him i’m keeping him >:(

 **Reggie** : also i sort of smuggled him into my house without my parents knowing…

 **Alex** : YOU WHAT

 **Alex** : reggie

 **Alex** : reginald,,,

 **Alex** : you do understand how an animal works don’t you?

 **Julie** : how do you plan on letting it do its business dude

 **Luke** : i’m laughing so hard right now reggie’s like an irresponsible child

 **Reggie** : hey!!! don’t be mean!!

 **Alex** : if reggie’s an irresponsible child then i feel like his overworked mother

 **Reggie** : well i didn’t think they’d let me keep it if i told them!!

 **Reggie** : it’s alright i don’t think they’ll notice

 **Alex** : HOW

 **Flynn** : reggie can you name the puppy after me pls

 **Reggie** : it’s a boy -.-

 **Flynn** : flynn’s a boys name too

_[Reggie sent a video]_

**Reggie** : he likes it

 **Reggie** : i hereby dub thee flynn the second

 **Flynn** : HA

 **Flynn** : BEAT THAT GUYS I’VE GOT A PUPPY NAMED AFTER ME

____________________

 **Julie** : would anyone like a little brother

 **Julie** : i’ve got one that i’ll give y’all for free

 **Julie** : or he’s going to end up dead in his sleep

 **Flynn** : no thanks i’ve already got three older ones and that’s enough for me

 **Reggie** : omg yes i’ll take him!!!!

 **Reggie** : i’ve always wanted a brother!!

 **Alex** : flynn you’ve got _three_ older brothers???

 **Flynn** : yup :(

 **Flynn** : and two younger twin sisters

 **Flynn** : it is h e l l

 **Luke** : jesus christ

 **Flynn** : just flynn actually :))

 **Luke** : picture me rolling my eyes rn

_[Julie sent a video]_

**Julie** : reggie i think you might have accidentally adopted my brother now

 **Julie** : i told him and now he’s all set to go and live with you

 **Julie** : he said

 **Julie** : and i quote

 **Julie** : ‘anyone is better than julie’

 **Alex** : oh my god this kid is so sassy i love it

 **Julie** : what did i do to deserve this

 **Luke** : for anyone else there’d probably be a list but,,,

 **Luke** : you’re julie

 **Luke** : i don’t think you’ve ever done anything wrong in your life

 **Julie** : well there was this one time i borrowed a pen from my teacher and never gave it back…

 **Alex** : SCANDALOUS

 **Flynn** : i can’t tell if you’re joking or not but either way i’m soft

 **Julie** : oh wait i told my ex-bestfriend to go fuck herself one time

 **Reggie** : JULIE!!! WAS THAT A SWEAR WORD!!!

 **Julie** : don’t tell anyone reginald

 **Reggie** : ofc not ur secrets safe with me <3

 **Flynn** : oh my god i’m in love

 **Alex** : yeah we know

 **Luke** : i’ve got a request

 **Luke** : i require more puppy pictures

 **Alex** : me too

 **Flynn** : me three

 **Julie** : me four ??

 **Reggie** : ofc!!

_[Reggie sent a photo]_

_[Reggie sent a photo]_

**Reggie** : he’s sleeping right now

 **Reggie** : i rang the vets though and they hadn’t heard anything about a missing puppy that looks like him

 **Reggie** : they said to bring him in to check for a microchip and stuff but if he isn’t anyones i can keep him!!

 **Alex** : ADORABLE

 **Julie** : OH MY GOD YAYY

 **Luke** : i’ll never get tired of receiving pictures of both reggie and a puppy

 **Flynn** : oh my god reggie!!

 **Flynn** : are u thinking what i’m thinking

 **Reggie** : … probably not i’m thinking about pizza rn

 **Flynn** : DUDE

 **Flynn** : YOU COULD SMUGGLE HIM INTO SCHOOL IN YOUR BACKPACK

 **Luke** : i swear to god if flynn meets this puppy before me i will stab someone

 **Flynn** : he’s practically my offspring though,,,

 **Flynn** : he’s literally named after me

 **Luke** : don’t care >:(

 **Julie** : i hate to be the sensible one again

 **Alex** : no you don’t

 **Julie** : but i think it’s against the rules to bring a puppy to school

 **Julie** : alex stfu you’re basically as bad as me

 **Alex** : i never said i wasn’t!!! but i also like to remain neutral!!

 **Julie** : alex,, back me up here

 **Alex** : yeah alright julies right

 **Luke** : julie’s right!!

 **Flynn** : dude you’re just saying that because you don’t want me to meet the puppy before you

 **Luke** : yep :)

 **Alex** : flynn and reggie surely you live pretty close right?? so flynn could go and meet the puppy outside of school??? right??

 **Luke** : ALEX SHUT UP!!

 **Julie** : wow luke you’re really getting possessive over this

 **Flynn** : reggie won’t let me come round his house bc i’m an embarrassment

 **Reggie** : i didn’t say that!!

 **Reggie** : it’s just easier not to

 **Julie** : you guys could go on a walk then, right?

 **Julie** : meet up somewhere?

 **Alex** : if this happens you have to send photos

 **Alex** : i might literally die

 **Flynn** : yes omg!!! I want to meet my baby!!

 **Luke** : you see him everyday at school

 **Flynn** : alright luke just bc ur salty that i’m meeting flynn II before u

 **Alex** : he’s 100% pouting rn

 **Luke** : don’t expose me alex

 **Alex** : i try my best

 **Reggie** : guys

 **Reggie** : i had a thought

 **Flynn** : congratulations is it the first time

 **Reggie** : flynn shush

 **Reggie** : when’s everyones birthdays??

 **Luke** : july 18th

 **Alex** : january 30th

 **Julie** : june 20th

 **Flynn** : april 5th

 **Luke** : oh shit alex is older than me

 **Julie** : waiiit, you and alex are 18 right and the rest of us are 17?

 **Julie** : reggie when’s yours

 **Reggie** : october 18th!!

 **Alex** : reggie,,,

 **Luke** : REGGIE!!

 **Alex** : that’s in four days!!!!

 **Reggie** : i know!!!!!

 **Julie** : wait so i’m the youngest?? :(

 **Flynn** : awww

 **Alex** : and i’m the oldest???

 **Luke** : :((

 **Reggie** : that’s so weird

 **Reggie** : come to think of it it makes sense though alex is v responsible

 **Alex** : no

 **Luke** : julies responsible too…

 **Julie** : you got any plans for your birthday reggie?

 **Reggie** : not really

 **Flynn** : reggie!! we should do something!!

 **Luke** : THIS IS SO UNFAIR

 **Luke** : guys idc we have to meet up with all of us soon

 **Reggie** : i agree

 **Reggie** : i’d really like that flynn!!

 **Flynn** : and u can bring flynn II!!

 **Reggie** : ofc

 **Luke** : THIS IS NOT FAIR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obviously i made up their birthdays and flynn's family, and as i mentioned before i switched all their ages up to suit the story :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex almost gets run over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's a little shorter than the others but this fic has been desperately requiring an alex pov so here you go!!  
> your support means so much to me so thank you so much for the comments on the last chapter and all the kudos, you guys are amazing <33

Alex isn’t ashamed to say that he checks the groupchat almost hourly during the day. It’s a reprieve for him - an escape from the crushing walls of reality. The four of them make him feel the most comfortable in his skin that he’s ever felt in his life, which admittedly doesn’t take a lot, but they've given him a lot. Even if they don’t realise it. Of course, there’s the issue of meeting up on the horizon which Alex has pushed back and protested against every time it’s been brought up, but he knows he’ll have to give in soon. He _wants_ to meet them. He does. But his brain… his brain keeps giving him plenty of reasons why it’s a bad idea; a very long list in fact, starting with _they might hate you_ and going all the way down to _they could be serial killers_. That last one’s got a lot of lines scribbled through it in his head but he won’t rule out the possibility until he’s _actually_ seen them. Still, he feels guilty because Reggie’s birthday is in two days and he’s sure Reggie would’ve wanted the five of them to meet then.

“What’s that you’re reading?” his mother asks as she comes into the kitchen, startling him so bad he almost drops his phone in his bowl of cereal. Typical of his mother though, she doesn’t wait for an answer and stops behind him to read over his shoulder. Alex shuts his phone off quickly and slams it down on the table with, admittedly, more force than necessary.

“Uh- just… nothing,” Alex tells her stiffly, “Stuff for school.”

His mother laughs, moving on past him, sharp black heels clicking against the tiled floor. “I’m not stupid, Alex, that wasn’t school work,” she replies matter-of-factedly, manicured fingernails reaching for an apple from the fruit bowl and snatching it up, “I’m off to work, your father should be back at five.”

And then she leaves, the sharp, clacking sound of her heels ringing through Alex’s head long after she’s gone in replace of a farewell that might’ve been spoken by any other mother. The house is dreadfully quiet after that.

The thing is, Alex has always had a stiff, stilted sort of relationship with his parents. They love him and they go out of their way to provide for him and Alex can remember times when he loved them back too. But he’s also been used to their unattainable expectations and disappointed looks since before he can remember. It’s been different since September 10th, though. September 10th at 6 o’clock in the evening to be exact. He can’t hold down exactly what is different but it’s something - something in the tone of his mother’s voice when she asks what he’s looking at or something in the looks his father sends him across the dinner table when he thinks Alex isn’t looking.

He hadn’t meant to tell them. Not yet. Not until he was far away from their suffocating stares and sharp tones. But something had snapped inside of him at the sight of his father cursing at a gay character on the TV. Stupidly, it had felt like some kind of challenge. Alex would have dropped it, he really _really_ would have. But then his mother had stalked into the room and she’d been looking for something to call Alex out on, that hungry, searching look in her eyes. And the anger had burnt and burnt and burnt right through his chest. So he’d given it to her on a silver plate.

“Mum, dad,” he remembers saying, quickly so the anger wouldn’t burn out and falter, “I’m gay.”

He remembers his mother’s stare so vividly she might as well be here with him now. In any other situation it would have been hilarious; the way her eyes had widened comically and her mouth had dropped open a little and she’d just-- stood there. His dad had turned away from the TV to frown at him in disbelief. And then his mum had laughed. She’d laughed and she’d patted him patronizingly on the shoulder and she’d said in a shaky voice _‘don’t be silly, Alexander, that’s not funny’_ and she’d stalked right back out of the kitchen. Alex’s anger had faded out completely then, so his heart had been thundering loudly in his ears when he’d turned slowly to where his dad was on the sofa. But his father didn’t say a word, not to him at least. He’d gone right back to cursing the gay character on the TV.

He’s not sure if they believe him and are just pretending it’s not true to save their own skin, or if they just can’t even comprehend a world where their precious, perfect Alex is anything other than what is considered acceptable.

His phone pings and draws him out of the memory. He’s running late for school. He checks his phone anyway.

 **Flynn** : guys look i know we said we shouldn’t meet yet but i really think we should

 **Luke** : i mean yeah i want to meet as soon as possible

 **Julie** : flynn is everything okay?

 **Flynn** : oh, yeah! i’m fine

 **Julie** : alright…

 **Julie** : is reggie okay?

 **Julie** : reggie are you ok?

 **Flynn** : reggie’s fine julie stop your worrying

 **Julie** : if you’re sure

 **Julie** : but i thought about it a little and i’d love to meet soon if that’s possible too

 **Flynn** : yayy!!!

 **Flynn** : alex?

 **Luke** : it’s totally fine if you don’t want to though

 **Luke** : so don’t like

 **Luke** : feel peer pressured or whatever

 **Julie** : yh we’re fine either way! :)

 **Alex** : no i

 **Alex** : i’d like to meet you all

Alex stares at the message he’s just sent before he could think of the consequences and exhales shakily. What the hell has he signed up for now.

He shuts his phone off with shaky hands, ignoring the string of messages coming in, and takes the stairs two at a time to his room. He’s running way too late. Picking up his school bag, he runs back down the stairs and out the door, closing it behind him on a silent house.

____________________

 **Julie** : REALLY?? OMG!!!

 **Luke** : OH MY GOD WAIT DOES THIS MEAN WE’RE MEETING FR

 **Luke** : WAIT DOES REG SAY YES

 **Julie** : dUDE REGGIES BEEN WANTING TO MEET US SINCE HE CREATED THE FREAKING CHAT

 **Luke** : OH SHIT YH

 **Luke** : KFKKSKALSKSKCM

 **Julie** : ME TOOOO!!!

 **Flynn** : oh my god what are you two

 **Luke** : flynn where’s reggie

 **Flynn** : he’s sitting right next to me

 **Luke** : okay… is his phone dead or something??

 **Flynn** : no

 **Flynn** : he says his parents took it off him

 **Luke** : oh

 **Luke** : okay

 **Julie** : but he’s okay?

 **Flynn** : yeah he’s alright

 **Flynn** : i’m currently feeding him my sandwiches

 **Julie** : okay

 **Julie** : well we should probably wait until everyone’s here to arrange when and where and everything

 **Luke** : don’t be sensible julie you’ll ruin the fun

 **Julie** : :P

____________________

Alex gives in about three minutes after leaving his house and checks the chat again, grinning at his friends’ antics. It calms the raging anxiety in his chest a little and stills the trembling in his hands. He’s nervous; of course he’s nervous, but there’s excitement bubbling up too, and beneath that something that Alex thinks could grow and flourish into love.

‘i can’t wait to meet you guys!!’ Alex starts typing out in response, which is why he’s not looking where he’s going when he gets hit. One moment he’s staring at his phone, the next something’s colliding into him and knocking him right off his feet. He stumbles, holds an arm out for balance and latches onto the nearest surface.

“Oh man, oh you dinged my board!” The other boy says, staring down at the skateboard that he’d just knocked Alex over with. Alex frowns, getting to his feet.

“I dinged your board? Dude, you ran me over! I’m already late! You’re...” He starts, but the boy looks up and Alex loses the train of thought as he properly takes him in. He looks around the same age as Alex, maybe a year or two older. He’s attractive, undeniably so, and Alex’s stomach flips as he runs a hand through long, brown hair, tilting his head to the side a little, brown eyes searching Alex’s curiously. The smile on his face is contagious and any indignation Alex had felt at being run over when he was late for school dissipates.

“Sorry, man,” the guy says, one lip twitching up in a half smile, “I should’ve been looking where I was going.”

“No that’s uh- I- I mean..,” Alex trips over his words, cursing his sudden lack of linguistic precision in the face of a very attractive skater boy. “I should have been looking where I was going too.”

The brunette grins, catching his lip between his front teeth and setting Alex’s heart thudding in his chest. He holds out a hand. “I’m Willie.”

Blushing, Alex takes the offered hand. “Alex,” he replies, Willie’s skin rough and warm in his. He doesn’t want to let go. He does, but only because he’s trying _not_ to come off as an awkward twelve year old in front of their crush.

“So what’re you running late for?”

“Huh? Oh, uh- school,” he replies, pushing his hair out of his face. “Which- shouldn’t you be in school too?”

“Nope,” Willie grins, “I’m in college. Haven’t got any classes this morning.”

“Ah, right,” Alex nods, torn between leaving - because he’s seriously late for school now - and sticking around just to listen to Willie talk.

“You should probably be going then, shouldn’t you?” Willie says with a smirk.

“Yeah. Right. I probably should,” he manages, feeling like he’s being dismissed, “I’ll… see you around?”

Willie cocks his head at him again, almost as if he’s trying to work him out, and then grins playfully and holds out his hand. “Gimme your phone.”

“You’re not trying to mug me or anything are you?” Alex laughs, handing his phone to Willie.

Willie shakes his head with a huffed out laugh, typing frantically on Alex’s phone. He hands it back.

“You’ll see me around,” Willie confirms, sending Alex another playful grin before setting his skateboard down and skating away.

“Oh. Oh… okay?” Alex mumbles at the disappearing figure, a little dazed.

He stares down at the number Willie’s typed into his phone, feeling warm and happy all over. Maybe this is just Alex’s year, he thinks happily. He sets off towards his school again briskly, looking where he’s going this time, and running on a high that feels invincible. Nothing could bring it crumbling down, not even the detention he gets given for turning up twenty minutes late.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group discuss meeting up.

**Alex** : guys oh my god

 **Luke** : what??

 **Alex** : i think i’m in love

 **Luke** : uh

 **Luke** : really sorry bro

 **Luke** : i hate to tell u this

 **Luke** : but

 **Alex** : NOT WITH YOU DUMBASS

 **Luke** : oh thank god

 **Luke** : no offense

 **Luke** : like i love you

 **Luke** : but not like that

 **Flynn** : fucking hell luke stop ur making it worse

 **Alex** : pls do

 **Luke** : yup

 **Luke** : i’d quite like to know who you’re in love with now though

 **Alex** : not literally

 **Alex** : i’m just having a bit of a gay panic

 **Alex** : this really hot skater dude ran me over

 **Alex** : and then he put his number in my phone

 **Luke** : OH MY GOD!!!!

 **Luke** : DUDE I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

 **Flynn** : did you miss the part where he said he got ran over

 **Luke** : oh shit yh

 **Flynn** : alex i’m gonna assume ur not dead

 **Flynn** : but are you okay??

 **Alex** : oh haha yeah i’m fine

 **Alex** : gay crisis aside and everything

 **Luke** : what’s his name???

 **Alex** : willie

 **Luke** : hmmm

 **Luke** : allie? willex?

 **Luke** : i ship it

 **Alex** : no but like

 **Alex** : what if he doesn’t like me back

 **Flynn** : jesus christ

 **Luke** : dude he literally gave you his number

 **Alex** : yeah but

 **Flynn** : alex stop overthinking

 **Flynn** : he’s interested in you

____________________

 **Julie** : alright gays

 **Julie** : is everyone home

 **Julie** : is reggie alive

 **Julie** : if so i was thinking we could video chat to talk about meeting up???

 **Julie** : also omg alex i’m so happy for you

 **Luke** : sounds good to me!!

 **Flynn** : hell yeah

 **Alex** : yes!!

 **Reggie** : omg yes!!!!!

 **Reggie** : only alex would have a crush on someone that ran him over omg

 **Reggie** : and yes i’m alive julie ty for your concern

 **Julie** : yw <3

 **Reggie** : hehehe <33333

 **Alex** : too cute!!!

 **Luke** : back off alex >:(

 **Alex** : dw dw you know i’m not interested!!!!!

 **Reggie** : interested???

 **Reggie** : interested in what omg

 **Flynn** : reggie

 **Flynn** : honey

 **Flynn** : i’m-

 **Julie** : that’s taking oblivious to the next level

 **Flynn** : that's not oblivious that's just being a dumbass

 **Flynn** : *said with affection* :)

 **Luke** : ok but julie you can talk

 **Julie** : what???

 **Julie** : i'm not oblivious

 **Reggie** : okokok video call!!!!

 **Julie** : no wait what

 **Alex** : ok we’re using skype again right?

 **Luke** : yup

 **Julie** : guys WHAT

 **Julie** : ?????

 **Flynn** : ;)

____________________

The call takes a moment to connect but when it does Luke’s eyes unashamedly find Reggie’s green ones first, just as they had the first time they’d video called. It feels silly when he thinks that he hasn’t even _met_ Reggie yet, but those thoughts are pushed aside when the brunette is staring right back at him. He thinks if he were brave enough he’d ask if Reggie wanted to video call between just the two of them, but something about Reggie makes him nervous; in a flustered, school-girl-crush kind of way. And Luke Patterson _never_ gets flustered. It’s embarrassing.

“Hiya!” Julie says from the bottom right corner, her smile lighting up the screen.

There’s a chorus of greetings from everyone, including Luke himself, in response and then something that sounds oddly like a bark from Reggie.

“Oh my god,” Luke whispers, shifting on his bed and squinting at the screen to see if the puppy’s in the frame.

“Was that-” Alex starts.

“Flynn II!” Flynn squeals, and it’s comical that they’re all so attached to a puppy they’ve never met but then again, Luke thinks, you could say the same about the people. Reggie lifts the small brown spaniel into the frame and onto his lap. The puppy turns on the spot and jumps up at Reggie, licking his face, and the laughter that rings down the phone makes butterflies dance in Luke’s stomach. The four of them stare enraptured at the sight of Flynn II tackling Reggie.

“Luke, you’re blushing,” Julie whispers, almost as if she’d forgotten they weren't together in person and everyone else could hear them. Luke blushes further. “Oh shit wait,” Julie mumbles, “Sorry Luke, forgot everyone else could hear.”

“Shut _up_ , Julie,” he says, rolling his eyes with fondness as she ducks her head offscreen to muffle her giggles.

“Children, children,” Alex reprimands, tutting a finger. “I was enjoying watching Reggie being mauled by Flynn.”

“Alex!” Flynn gasps, “I would never!”

“Okay, okay,” Reggie says, pushing Flynn II off and running a jumper sleeve (that is far too big for him, Luke notes affectionately) over his slobbered face. “So when are we meeting up then? We can’t do tomorrow can we?”

“Your birthday,” Luke clarifies, watching the look of hopefulness on his face. “Reg, we can’t, we’ve all got school.”

“No, no, I know, it was stupid, sorry,” he mumbles and Luke’s eyes go wide because he definitely had _not_ meant it like that. He wanted to see him, and to be perfectly honest he would skip school to do so if his parents didn’t obsess over his grades so.

“No- Reggie- No, it’s not _stupid_ ,” Luke protests desperately.

“Hey, how about this weekend though, Reggie? It could be like a second birthday,” Alex suggests quickly, obviously picking up on Luke’s desperation. Luke nods.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Yeah, sorry, that’d be great,” Reggie agrees, brightening.

“Where would we meet then?” Flynn asks, “We know we all live in LA but for all we know we could be on opposite sides of the city.”

They discuss locations and where would be the easiest to meet up before all five of them decide on Julie’s house as the perfect spot between the rest of theirs. Luke feels a nervous excitement flutter in his chest at the thought of finally meeting the four of them. He’ll have to find a present to get Reggie.

“You’ll all be able to get here okay, right?” Julie asks.

“Yeah,” Luke replies, wondering just how his parents would react when he asked if he could go and meet up with a bunch of strangers he’s been talking to online. Or maybe they don’t need to know.

“Yeah, my mum’ll be fine with giving me a lift,” Flynn says, and then pauses, “We can take you too Reggie.”

“Oh,” he mumbles, looking relieved, “Thanks, Flynn.”

“I should be able to get there,” Alex says.

“Okay,” Julie nods, face breaking into a grin, “God, I’m so excited!”

“Reg, you should bring your bass!” Luke says excitedly, “And Alex you could… well, I mean it might be a little hard to bring a drum kit…”

“Wait, hold up, let’s not-” Alex starts and Luke isn’t sure why he looks so concerned until he looks at Julie. She’s trying so hard not to look upset and once again Luke feels like an idiot. “Let’s stick to just meeting up and getting to know each other this time, alright? We’ve got plenty of time to play together in the future.”

Julie perks up at that and Luke is more than a little jealous at Alex’s ability to make everything seem alright. He’s so passionate about his music that sometimes he just gets a little carried away.

“Yeah. Obviously. Sorry, I didn’t mean..” He trails off, eyeing Reggie’s camera. It’s gone shaky and there’s a distant, muffled sound in the background that Luke can’t make out.

“Hey, Reggie, you alright?” Flynn asks. Her tone is dripping with worry and Luke knows instantly that she knows something the rest of them don’t.

Reggie comes back into the frame, a shaky looking smile pasted on his face, “Yeah, sorry. Sorry I’m-”

There’s a sickening crash. The muffled noises grow louder and distinguish themselves as yells.

The colour in Reggie’s face drains and Luke’s left with the image of Reggie’s horrified face burnt into his mind when he disconnects from the call altogether.

“Reggie?” Luke asks stupidly, after the boy’s gone, “Reggie!”

“What just happened?” Julie whispers.

“Is he okay?” Alex demands, as if anyone knows better than he does, “Is he _okay_?”

There’s a long silence. Nobody knows the answers. Luke feels terribly far away from Reggie, like it’s not just a city between them, but a whole ocean too. His stomach is tying itself in knots with worry, the last few seconds of the conversation playing over and over in his head.

“I think... ,” Flynn starts cautiously, “I think it’s his parents. Reggie’s mentioned a few times in passing that they-- that they… argue.”

“That sounded like a lot more than arguing to me!” Luke shouts, and he doesn’t know why he’s shouting, especially at Flynn who’s done nothing wrong, but he can’t stop the words bubbling up in his throat, “That sounded fucking _dangerous_! How are we supposed to know if he’s okay?”

“Luke, stop,” Julie says firmly, “It’s not Flynn’s fault.”

“Yeah, fuck you, dude,” she mutters.

“Guys…”

“I’m worried!” Luke protests, still shouting at Flynn.

“Guys!” Alex shouts, and they all fall silent, “We’re _all_ worried. But it’s nobody’s fault, alright? I don’t think we should jump to any conclusions. Flynn, can you- do you know where Reggie lives? You could go check on him?”

Luke has a lot of respect for Alex in that moment, watching as the other boy takes control of the conversation calmly despite the tremor in his voice.

“No,” Flynn shakes her head, eyes staring guiltily at the camera, “I don’t know where he lives. I’m so sorry.”

“That’s alright,” Alex says. Luke watches as he searches blindly for the next thing to say.

“It’ll be fine,” Luke steps in, not believing a word that’s leaving his mouth. Alex sends him a grateful smile. “Flynn, you’ve got school with him tomorrow and I’m sure he’ll be alright.”

“It’s his _birthday_ tomorrow!” Julie says, and it sounds disturbingly close to a sob.

“I know. I know, Juls,” he mutters. He wonders how on earth they’d got here, when just minutes ago they’d been excitedly discussing the prospect of meeting for the first time. “But we’ll see him on Saturday, right? It’ll be fine.”

They end the call soon after; none of them feeling much like sitting around and talking without Reggie there. Luke secretly wants them all to stay, just so he doesn’t have to sit with this feeling of heavy worry on his own.

**Luke to Reggie**

**Luke** : reg please let me know if you’re okay

 **Luke** : you can talk to me

 **Luke** : or you can talk to one of the others if you feel more comfortable with that

 **Luke** : i just wanna know you’re alright


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reggie talks to Flynn and Flynn attempts to comfort him.
> 
> cw for mentions of abusive relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back by popular demand! (seriously though sorry about that cliffhanger)  
> this chapter sort of got away from me and ended up longer than i originally intended but i'm not complaining! thanks for your support, kudos and comments - they make my day every time <3 enjoy!

Reggie’s 18th birthday had started alright. After the night before, anything would’ve seemed better though; once he’d disconnected from the skype call he’d listened to the screaming and the thuds and crashes from downstairs way into the night. He couldn’t stomach replying to the countless worried messages that pinged through on his phone, so he’d sat, huddled in the corner of his bed, hands clamped over his ears and eyes squeezed shut. He wondered what the others thought and hoped they didn’t hate him yet. It was usually about this point in the friendship when people realised Reggie was too much to handle.

But today was better. Reggie wakes up to Flynn II licking his face and checks his phone - a new one after his dad had smashed his last one. He’d played it off to Flynn by telling her his parents had just taken it off him, and then he’d got a new one with the small amount of money he’d been saving and some he’d managed to plead off his mum by telling her he needed to buy food. When he opens it he sees not just messages of concern from his friends, but happy birthday ones too. Not many people wish Reggie a happy birthday these days.

He gets up and dresses quickly, pulling on his favourite flannel shirt and thumbing the pride pin attached to it from Flynn. He’ll reply to all the birthday messages after breakfast he decides, scooping Flynn II off the floor and opening his bedroom door quietly.

It’s eerily silent, as it usually is after hours of screaming voices have kept the house awake all night. The floorboards creak under foot as he tiptoes down the stairs, careful not to wake anyone who might be sleeping because the slightest wrong movement sets his parents off these days.

There’s shattered glass on the floor when Reggie gets downstairs. There’s a picture frame too, lying face up in the middle of the kitchen, a sharp crack right through the centre of the photo of him and his parents. His parents’ faces lay untouched in the photo. His own though - the crack slices straight through it, all jagged lines and cutting edges. Reggie swallows the bitter feeling in his throat and clutches Flynn II closer to his chest.

He carefully steps around the debri to the back door and lets Flynn II out into the garden, closing it behind him so the puppy won’t come back in and hurt himself while Reggie’s cleaning. He grabs a dustpan and brush and sweeps up the fractured glass silently, ignoring the sound of his own shaky breathing in the lifeless house. Then, moving robotically, he dumps the remnants of his parents' fight in the bin, lets Flynn II back in, feeds him and starts his daily search for anything that looks reasonably consumable for his own breakfast.

Until his eyes catch on the wine bottle lying emptied on its side by the sofa. From where he’s standing in the kitchen Reggie can only see the back of the sofa but he watches, heart in his throat, as Flynn II scampers over to it before he can get there himself and starts barking at whatever - or rather whoever - is lying there.

“Shh shhh, no, Flynn! Quiet!” he says desperately, running after the puppy and picking him up in his arms. The person on the sofa doesn’t wake. Reggie turns slowly to take in the sight of his mother’s lifeless body passed out on the sofa, face turned into the cushions. Reggie sighs.

He puts Flynn II down, no longer worried about him waking her, sets the wine bottle upright and moves to shift his mother’s body over. The broken sob that escapes Reggie’s throat at the sight of his mother’s face is involuntary.

One cheek is painted a dark, mottled purple-blue colour, spreading like a disease across his mother’s features, no doubt infected by his father’s own fists. Reggie presses a hand to his mouth to stop himself from sobbing outright.

There’s blood, too. On her chest.

For a moment he feels like he's suffocating in the burning waves of guilt. He'd heard those crashes. He'd felt the shudders of the walls. He'd done nothing. He pushes those thoughts back.

Methodically, he strips the worn cardigan off his mother’s body and pushes her shirt up to assess the injury, eyes skimming over the older bruises that lie there. The cut is small and not very deep. It looks as if it had probably been made by his father throwing some kind of glass at her, probably the same one that was shattered on the floor, as there’s a small shard in the wound.

Reggie grabs the first aid kit from the bathroom and returns, working silently as he cleans his mother’s injury and sticks a plaster haphazardly over the top of it; sue him, he’s no doctor. His mother’s eyes flutter open as he’s packing the first aid kit away.

“John?” she mumbles blearily. Reggie cringes.

“No, mum, it’s me. Reggie.”

“Oh. D’you think…,” she trails off slipping into unconsciousness again.

“Mum? Do I think what?” Reggie asks, wishing his voice didn’t sound so desperate. It’s the first conversation he’s had with his mum all week and it hardly even makes any sense.

“D’you think… you could get me a bottle of wine? From the fridge? There’s a good boy.”

Reggie throws his head back and laughs bitterly, blinking back the sharp sting of tears.

“Yeah sure, mum,” he says, watching resentfully as her eyes fall shut again and sleep pulls her back down. He doesn’t bother getting the wine bottle; he knows she won’t remember the conversation anyway.

Reggie picks his dog up and goes back upstairs, stopping cautiously outside his parents’ room and seeing no sign of his father. Fuck him, Reggie thinks. Fuck both of them actually. It’s not like any of this is new to him - it’s practically routine by now, at least once a month. Reggie can remember a time when he would have woken on his birthday to his mum tickling him awake and his dad stood in the doorway with an affectionate smile on his face, when he’d wake to presents and birthday cake, to parents that could stand to be in a room together. Parents that loved each other.

Reggie wonders what went wrong.

Maybe he did.

Only once his door is firmly shut behind him does he let the tears fall, silently.

____________________

 **Julie** : reggie please let us know if you’re okay

 **Julie** : we’re all really worried

 **Alex** : yeah reggie whatever's going on you can talk to us

 **Alex** : even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal

 **Luke** : we care about you reg

____________________

 **Alex** : HAPPY BIRTHDAY REGGIE!!!

 **Alex** : hope you’re okay

 **Luke** : happy birthday!!

 **Flynn** : happy birthday dude! please let us know you’re alright

 **Flynn** : and if there’s anything we can do let us know

 **Flynn** : we might all be thinking the worst but if anything’s going on you can talk to us

 **Julie** : reggie we love you!! happy birthday!! <3

 **Luke** : flynn you’ve gotta let us know as soon as you see him today

 **Luke** : could you give him a hug for me

 **Flynn** : obviously

 **Flynn** : i’ll let you all know how he is

 **Julie** : flynn if he doesn’t seem okay then we really should talk to an adult

 **Flynn** : i know

 **Alex** : it’ll be fine

 **Alex** : we’re meeting up in two days anyway

 **Alex** : he’ll be okay

 **Luke** : you tryna convince us or yourself

 **Alex** : shut up

 **Luke** : it’s fine alex we’re all worried

____________________

Flynn gets to school early. The air is bitter and cold in its usual frosty October morning way, and she tugs her jacket closer around her as she steps out of the car. She goes to her and Reggie’s usual meeting place before school; the main entrance because Reggie still doesn’t know where anywhere is. She sits down on the side of the steps, pulls out her phone and waits.

It’s not until 10 minutes before class starts that she sees him, head down, hands stuffed in his pockets, walking briskly towards the entrance. He hasn’t seen her. Flynn stands up as he gets closer.

“Reggie,” she calls out before he can walk straight past her, he startles and turns to her and she can’t help but note the lack of his usual lopsided grin and the redness to his eyes. Before he can say a word she walks over and pulls him into a hug.

“Happy birthday, Reg,” she mumbles into his neck. The tension in his body dissipates and he goes limp in her arms.

When she pulls back his face is contorted into an expression she can’t put her finger on and Flynn is struck by the deep sadness that seems to radiate beneath the surface of such a happy person. She keeps her hands on his arms, partly because he looks like he’d crumble if she let go and partly because she doesn’t _want_ to let go.

“Flynn,” he mumbles, dropping his eyes to the ground, “I’m really sorry.”

“You’re _sorry_? What for?”

“For not replying to anyone’s messages… ,” he replies as if it’s obvious, “I’m sorry, I just-”

“Woah. No no, stop, Reggie,” she insists, holding a hand up, “We don’t care about that. Well, I mean obviously we do because we were worried but we just wanted to know you were alright. You don’t need to apologise.”

Reggie stares at her dumbstruck.

“Uhm but… well, I got you a present, hold on,” she tells him, rooting around in her bag to find the little wrapped parcel. When she looks back up Reggie’s got his hands over his face, and seems to be suppressing sobs.

“Oh god what did I do?” Flynn asks, quickly shoving the present in her pocket and wrapping an arm around Reggie’s shoulder, pulling him down to sit beside her on the steps. “Reggie, you’re okay. It’s alright. What’s wrong?”

He takes his shaking hands away from his face, to reveal tear streaked cheeks and lost green eyes. He shakes his head at her, sobbing, and presses his face in her shoulder, gripping her arm tightly, fingers digging into the fabric of her jacket like he’s scared she’ll be torn away from him.

Flynn’s never been very good at comforting crying people; her older brothers usually just told her to suck it up and deal with it. But she pulls him in closer anyway and rubs comforting circles on his back.

“Hey, you’re okay Reggie. Please tell me what’s going on. What’s wrong?” she murmurs into his hair.

He doesn’t answer.

“Okay. You can talk in your own time, Reg. But right now I think we should get out of here.”

That gets him talking. “What?” He jerks upright, big, wet, blue eyes wide in disbelief.

“What? You’ve never bunked off before?” she smirks, “You’re clearly not up to going to school today.”

“Okay,” he nods shakily and wipes the tears from his face. Flynn grins and gets to her feet, holding out a hand to pull Reggie up with her.

“Where to then?”

____________________

 **Flynn** : he’s ok

 **Luke** : thank fuck

 **Flynn** : he’s not _ok_ but he’s like

 **Flynn** : not dead

 **Luke** : flynn you’re really not doing a great job at easing my nerves here

 **Alex** : is he okay or not???

 **Flynn** : he just seems really shaken is all

 **Flynn** : he’s crying

 **Luke** : COULD YOU NOT HAVE OPENED WITH THAT

 **Julie** : let her talk

 **Flynn** : yeah shut up luke i’m trying to let you know what’s going on grr

 **Flynn** : we’re bunking off school

 **Alex** : WHAT

 **Julie** : why does anyone ever let you be in charge oh my god

 **Flynn** : i mean there wasn’t much of an option juls he was sobbing on my shoulder

 **Flynn** : we’re going to find somewhere to eat because he said something about not having breakfast

 **Flynn** : i’ll keep y'all updated

____________________

They end up at a little diner down the street which is empty of any customers. The waitress doesn’t bat an eyelid at the sight of two students, one of them with tears on his cheeks, the other cracking terrible jokes to try and cheer him up, and the pair of them sit snugly beside each other in a booth by the window.

“D’you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” Flynn asks him cautiously once the waitress has served them. Reggie stares at the plate in front of him with no appetite - memories of his mother’s battered face this morning leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

“It’s not--,” he starts and then stops almost as soon as he has because he was about to tell her it wasn’t a big deal. He trusts Flynn. “My parents. They argue,” he tells her, “I think I already mentioned that, though.”

“But, Reggie… that can’t- They’re not abusive are they?”

“No!” Reggie shouts, and then quietens immediately with a glance around the empty diner, “Not- not to me anyway. My parents fight and one way or another it usually ends up with one of them injured,” he explains.

“And that’s what happened yesterday?”

“My dad must’ve thrown something at her. And punched her too,” Reggie manages around the lump that’s forming in his throat. He sucks in a breath of air, feeling his lungs constrict tightly with it.

“That must be really shitty to live with,” Flynn murmurs and she reaches out and when her warm hand connects with his cold one he feels the tension in his shoulders alleviate just slightly. “You should probably talk to someone about that, Reggie. Like someone who can actually do something. That’s not safe or healthy.”

“No. No, it’s fine,” he says firmly, “I’ll be out of there soon enough anyway.”

“Reggie-” Flynn starts defiantly, voice raising ever so slightly. Reggie snatches his hand back.

“I said no,” he snaps.

“Okay,” Flynn concedes, “Okay. But that’s not all.”

It’s not even half of it, Reggie thinks bitterly, but they’d be here all day if he went through every shitty thing his parents had ever done.

“I know it isn’t, Reg, you told me they took your phone off you and then you came in the next day with a new phone!”

“I needed a new one,” he protests.

“And you never have food with you! Or money!”

“That’s- that’s not their f-”

“Reggie, they’re your parents, they’re supposed to provide for you. Don’t fucking tell me it’s not their fault they don’t feed you!”

“Jesus, Flynn!” Reggie hisses, eyes darting around the cafe, “They do _feed_ me!”

“Seriously?”

Reggie’s not sure when this turned into some kind of argument.

“To be fair, I am old enough to provide for myself though-”

“And they’ve fucking told you that haven’t they? I swear to fucking god, Reggie, it’s not that hard for your parents to put three meals in front of you everyday - it’s what they signed up for! Just because they aren’t _physically_ abusive doesn’t mean they aren’t abusive!”

She falls silent at whatever expression must have painted itself across his face.

“Okay,” he mumbles, feeling like he’s lost whatever kind of fight they were just having and hating the feeling of weakness that’s made its home in his chest because of it, “Could you just stop shouting at me now?”

He feels even more dreadful when her expression falls completely and takes on one of guilt. “Sorry. I’m really sorry, Reggie, I’m no good at helping with this sort of thing. I’m just- I care about you, okay? And it makes me really angry that your parents don’t seem to feel the same way.”

Reggie hums in agreement and understanding, “Yeah, they’re too preoccupied with fighting each other to even notice me most of the time.”

“Exactly.”

“How about we backtrack and go back to the bit where you were cheering me up with embarrassing stories about you?” Reggie suggests cheekily, “I liked that bit.”

“Uh huh, sure thing, Reginald,” Flynn says affectionately, nudging him in the side and then gasping sharply, “Oh shit wait! I haven’t given you your present yet!”

Reggie grips the table tightly, feeling a fresh wave of tears threatening itself over his head. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve people who cared so much.

“Alright, don’t you dare start crying again, dipshit,” she tells him sternly as she holds out the little parcel and he wipes his eyes hastily. The wrapping paper is bright pink and has little ponies all over it. “Yeah, my bad,” Flynn laughs, “It was the only wrapping paper we had in the house. My little sisters are menaces.”

Reggie laughs, surprised, and tears the package open carefully. Into his hand falls three items; a little bass guitar pin, a bisexual pride flag pin and a little polaroid photo of that first picture Reggie had taken of the two of them. Now he’s really crying.

“Oh dear lord, not again? Those are happy tears, right?”

“Happy tears,” Reggie nods, pulling Flynn into another hug, unable to comprehend why anyone would do something so nice for him.

“I would have got a proper photo frame and everything,” Flynn says, voice muffled into his shoulder, “But, like, I don’t have very much money and I thought it was cute anyway so…”

“Flynn, it’s perfect.”

He pulls back and attaches the two new pins to his flannel shirt where they belong.

“Thank you so much.”

“Anything for our Reggie,” she teases, wiping the tear tracks off his cheeks, and Reggie thinks maybe he’s never really known love; and maybe now he’s found it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finally meet up; lots of hugging ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a little while but i wanted to get it just right (i still don't like how it came out but oh well:)) I've also split it into two halves or it would've been far too long
> 
> enjoy!!

“Luke Patterson, don’t you dare walk out while I’m talking to you!” His mother yells. Luke doesn’t need to look back to know that she’s got her hands thrown up in the air, his father stood off to the side watching disapprovingly.

“See you later,” he snaps angrily over his shoulder, running for the door and hauling his backpack over his shoulder at the same time.

“Luke!”

He makes sure he slams the door behind him.

Even his parents’ strict boundaries can’t bring Luke down today. He doesn’t care if it _isn’t safe_ or if he _should be doing school work_. He needs this like he needs oxygen. Not to mention that Flynn’s reassurances had not even slightly calmed his worries about Reggie and he needs to see the other boy in person to know for _sure_ that he's okay.

He jumps in his car, placing his bag down carefully next to him and pulling out his phone to check the group chat one last time before he leaves.Then, he drives.

____________________

 **Julie** : okay you’re all getting here at ten right?

 **Alex** : correct

 **Alex** : I’m betting flynn and reggie are going to be late though

 **Reggie** : TEN????

 **Reggie** : i thought we’d said eleven??

 **Alex** : i rest my case

 **Flynn** : dw reggie _i_ know what time we’re meant to get there

 **Flynn** : have a little faith in us alex

 **Luke** : i have a very very important question

 **Julie** : fire away

 **Luke** : reggie are you bringing flynn II?

 **Luke** : pls say yes

 **Reggie** : yes!!!!

_[Reggie sent a photo]_

**Reggie** : we’re ready to goooo

 **Reggie** : @flynn whenever you wanna pick us up

 **Flynn** : omw!!

 **Alex** : i’m gonna need to take a minute to appreciate the cuteness of that photo

 **Luke** : same

 **Julie** : same

 **Reggie** : you’ll be able to see it in person soon!!

 **Luke** : i don’t think i’m gonna be able to handle it guys

 **Alex** : we know luke

 **Alex** : we know

 **Julie** : i really can’t wait to meet you guys!!!

 **Flynn** : i can’t wait to meet you!!

 **Flynn** : and everyone else

 **Flynn** : obviously haha

 **Alex** : believable flynn

 **Alex** : really believable

 **Flynn** : you know i love you really

 **Alex** : excuse me who are you and what have you done with flynn

 **Alex** : did you just say something… mildly nice to me?

 **Flynn** : don’t let it get to your head

 **Alex** : it already has no take backs

 **Alex** : guys i’m really nervous please don’t like hate me straight away

 **Alex** : i take a little while to warm up to people okay

 **Luke** : dude we’re not gonna hate you dw

 **Julie** : yeah i’m pretty nervous too alex it’ll be okay

 **Reggie** : we already love you anyway!!

 **Alex** : thanks guys <3

____________________

When Luke pulls up at the house that Julie’s said is hers, he sits for a moment with the nerves and excitement building in his chest and takes a few deep breaths. This could either go horribly wrong or it could go perfectly. Luke doesn’t want to be the deciding factor in that.

 **Luke** : I’m here

 **Julie** : come in then dumbass!!!

 **Julie** : you’re first btw

 **Alex** : I’m like five minutes away

 **Reggie** : dude i think we’re lost

 **Alex** : it’s almost like i can see the future

 **Flynn** : we’re not lost

 **Flynn** : don’t listen to him

 **Flynn** : but yes alex we are running late

 **Alex** : i repeat

 **Alex** : it’s almost like i can see the future

Laughing, Luke tucks his phone into his jacket, picks up his backpack and gets out of the car. He knocks sharply on the front door.

When it swings open it doesn’t reveal the seventeen year old girl he’d been expecting but a young boy instead.

“Uhh…,” Luke says eloquently, eyeing the boys’ hair and facial features; Julie _had_ mentioned something about having a brother.

“Julie!” The boy screams behind him into the house. Luke cringes. “It’s one of your creepy, serial-killer friends from the internet!”

“Excuse you,” Luke mutters, “Last time I checked I was neither creepy nor a serial-killer.”

The boy pulls a face at him and Luke sticks his tongue out back. There’s the sound of footsteps and then Julie appears behind her brother, sunshine-bright smile splitting her face in two and Luke can’t help but return it.

“Luke! My favourite creepy, serial-killer friend!”

Luke doesn’t even have time to say a word or take in the rest of her appearance before she’s shoving her brother out of the way and they’re both meeting each other in a tight hug that feels a lot like coming home. He can’t resist picking her up and spinning her round, rejoicing in the bright laughter it elicits.

“Julie!” He laughs, and it feels like they’ve known each other forever.

“Come in, come in!” she tells him once they’ve separated, tugging him inside by his arm and closing the door behind them. Luke takes a moment to take in the homey, warm feel of her house, noting a man standing watching them from the kitchen with a smile on his face; Julie’s dad he presumes.

“That’s my dad,” Julie answers his thoughts, chucking a hand over her shoulder at him.

“Ah. Nice to meet you Mr…,” he trails off, realising he doesn’t even know Julie’s last name.

“Molina,” Julie supplies.

“Nice to meet you, Mr Molina.”

The man smiles warmly. “You can call me Ray. It’s nice to meet you too, I’ve heard a lot about you lot.”

"And that's my little brother, Carlos," Julie tells him gesturing at the boy who'd opened the door, "He can be a menace but he's lovely really."

"Hey!"

“Aaanyway,” Julie diverts. She pulls him away and gestures towards the door again. “I thought we could hang in my mum’s old studio. I just cleaned it out a little the other day and there’s more space there than my own room, so.”

“Sounds great,” Luke grins and happily follows her into the studio. It’s vast and spacious and the kind of place he can picture spending hours with friends in, and there’re--

“Snacks!” Luke yells, eyes catching on the table where Julie’s laid out various snacks for all of them and a large birthday cake in the middle with neat, hand-written icing on top. _Happy birthday Reggie_ it spells and then underneath, smaller _you absolute dork_.

“Julie,” Luke breathes, “He’s gonna love it. That’s so sweet.”

“I mean I think I went a little overboard, maybe… but it doesn’t sound like he’s had the best week and I wanted to do something to make it a little better?” She mumbles, tucking a curl behind her ear.

“Julie,” Luke repeats firmly, “He will love it. I don’t think you _can_ go overboard with Reggie.”

“Okay. I was just-”

The door creaks open. Alex steps in, hands fidgeting nervously in the pockets of his pink hoodie. His eyes are wide and there’s a small smile on his lips.

“Your uh- Julie, your dad told me to just come round here so I um-”

“Alex!” The pair of them cry simultaneously, flinging themselves at him. Alex mumbles an ‘oof’ as he stumbles under their combined weight and then he’s laughing lightly, wrapping his arms around the two of them. Luke can literally see his walls dropping and his shoulders relaxing.

“Jesus, okay, alright, we’re hugging then,” he says into their shoulders.

“We’re hugging,” Julie confirms.

____________________

Reggie and Flynn end up being almost an hour late when they arrive, by which time Alex and Julie have succeeded in tormenting Luke about the way his cheeks flush every time a message from Reggie comes into the groupchat. Luke in turn has taken to teasing first Julie when she does the exact same thing when Flynn messages and then Alex when he starts rambling about Willie. If any of them are surprised at the ease at which the three of them have settled into each others’ presence, they don’t bring it up, but Luke’s sure he can see it in Julie’s eyes and Alex’s smile.

Julie's much less softly spoken than Luke had expected; she's bold and a little fiery and completely unafraid to interrupt someone in the middle of their sentence if she wants to make a point. She returns Luke's physical affection in full force when he wraps an arm around her shoulder, snuggling into his side and resting her head on his shoulder. Alex on the other hand seems blindsided by it but eventually relaxes with Luke's arm slung over his shoulder as they talk. He's got a sharp, sarcastic tongue when he starts to open up which doesn't really surprise Luke. But he's also much more talkative than Luke had expected once he starts on something and it ends up being difficult to shut him up when he starts talking about drumming or Willie. 

They hear Reggie and Flynn before they see them.

“You must be Julie’s dad!” Reggie’s unmistakable voice rings out from outside the studio, he’s laughing and Luke can’t help but feel a sense of relief that whatever was going on in the past few days with him must have blown over. “Absolute pleasure to meet you, sir.”

They can hear Flynn’s laughter too, and Luke notes in amusement the way Julie stands hurriedly at the sound of it.

“I don’t think he can say the same for you, Reggie,” Flynn says.

“Shut up, just because people like me more than you.”

“We should go and meet them,” Julie murmurs, eyes fixed on the door where the voices are coming from. Luke’s stomach flips. He’s not used to being nervous, he’s used to being able to chat up anyone he wants, to smiling flirtatiously, to being confident. Somehow Reggie brings that all crashing down.

“... Yeah.”

“Seriously?” Alex mutters from behind Luke, and he would laugh at the absolutely exasperated tone of his voice if he wasn’t too preoccupied with the sound of Reggie’s laughter outside. “Snap out of it, you guys, I’m not going out there on my own.”

Luke nods, gathering his confidence, “Yeah, alright. Okay. Let’s do this.”

He glances at Julie who’s frantically fiddling with her hair and smoothing down the creases of her striped, purple jumper. Then, he steps forward and pushes the doors open revealing Flynn, Reggie and a little puppy in his arms. Any sign of confidence disappears.

“Hey,” he says, directing the greeting at the both of them but not taking his eyes off Reggie. He’s wearing a plain, black t-shirt and ripped jeans and Luke distantly wonders how he isn’t freezing to death. He takes a moment to take in the dark circles under those soft green eyes and he feels an unpleasant stab of worry in his chest.

Reggie blushes, eyes darting over the three of them before finally settling on Luke. He sets Flynn II on the ground and takes a few steps closer.

“Um,” Reggie says and Luke’s face, completely of its own will, breaks into a fond grin. Luke curses his stupid facial expressions and then, unable to hold back any longer, pulls Reggie forward and wraps his arms around his neck in a hug.

Almost as soon as he’s done so he pulls back, overthinking. “Shit- was- I mean- Did you- You probably didn’t want a hug. Uh sorry…?”

“Luke,” Reggie says, “Shut up.”

And then he’s being pulled back into Reggie’s arms and he’s burying his face in Reggie’s shoulder and breathing in the sweet smell of something citrus. Illogically, he’s brought sharply back to that night with Reggie on the phone when he’d been sat on a park bench, shivering, and Reggie’s voice had been warm and comforting and safe just as his arms are now. He grips tighter onto the fabric of Reggie’s t-shirt, unwilling to let go but simultaneously sharply aware that this probably won’t look platonic much longer.

“Happy belated birthday, Reg,” Luke tells him and starts to pull back but stops short when a heavy weight collides into them and another set of arms wrap around the two of them.

“Yeah happy birthday, Reggie!” Alex is laughing softly and Luke draws the two of them in closer, feeling an odd protectiveness unfurl in his chest. “Hope I didn’t ruin the moment, guys.”

“Shut up, Alex.”

“Yeah, shut up, Alex,” Reggie mimics. Luke can feel his giggle vibrating against his chest.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, you love me really,” Alex says with a put upon sigh. Luke grins in response as the three of them pull apart. He keeps a hand on both of them, one wrapped loosely around the soft skin of Reggie’s wrist and the other resting on Alex’s shoulder, as the three of them turn to Julie and Flynn.

The girls are sat on the ground, Flynn with the puppy in her lap, laughing brightly as he chews on her sweater sleeve, Julie staring enthralled at the other girl, eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

“Julie!” Reggie squeals, startling the pair of them as he runs forward and practically lands in Julie’s lap to hug her. Flynn stands at the same time, picking Flynn II up with her, and approaches Luke and Alex.

“‘Sup nerds,” she greets, grinning widely.

“Come here,” Luke smiles, with a roll of his eyes and a twitch of her lips, pulling her into a hug too, careful of the puppy between them. He reaches an arm to the side quickly before Alex can escape and draws him into the hug as well.

“I don’t know how I feel about all this hugging,” Alex mutters into Flynn’s shoulder. But Luke knows without question that they all love it, Alex included.

“You love it,” Luke tells him, and Alex grins in response.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i say this every time but you guys are constantly blowing me away with your support for this fic and i'm so so grateful. i'm pretty bad at getting round to answering comments, but just know that i read every single one and appreciate the hell out of it. <3

The sight of Flynn standing in front of her for the first time sends shockwaves through Julie’s body. She’s beautiful. So much so, that for a second Julie completely forgets how to function, only distantly aware of Luke and Reggie embracing beside them. Julie isn’t sure if it’s her crush talking, but the other girl looks like she’s been carved out of a slice of heaven; glowing in the November sunlight, her braids framing her face.

“Hey, Juls,” Flynn says, so softly that Julie wouldn’t have heard it if she weren’t so caught on every word, but also, dare she say it, she sounded shy.

“Hiya,” she returns, offering a smile. “This is _really_ weird.”

“Yup,” Flynn nods, face breaking into a relieved grin that sends the butterflies in Julie’s stomach into a raucous, “It’s like- we’ve messaged each other and called each other so much, and even video called but somehow this is completely different.”

“Exactly,” Julie grins. Flynn ducks her head, mumbling something under her breath. “What was that?”

“I said if you don’t hug me in the next few seconds I’m gonna tackle you,” Flynn says, looking up and holding back a smile. Julie doesn’t need telling twice. She moves quickly into Flynn’s awaiting arms, settling into the space there as if it’s where she was always meant to be. It’s different from hugging Luke and Alex, Julie thinks, as Flynn lifts a hand to run her fingers through Julie’s hair. It’s different but neither Flynn nor herself seem to be ready to confront that yet.

The pair of them end up sitting on the ground supervising Reggie’s puppy who Julie is already obsessed with. The little brown spaniel is clumsy and affectionate, falling over his disproportionate paws as he bounds between the two of them. In the end the puppy won’t leave Flynn alone and, despite being a little jealous, Julie doesn’t really blame him.

The group move properly into the studio once everyone’s greeted each other and Julie makes Reggie cover his eyes before they go in.

“Why?” Reggie laughs nervously, stepping unconsciously closer to Flynn and placing his hands over his eyes. "You know if you wanted to kill me you could've just-"

"No, Reggie, surprisingly none of us want to kill you," Alex interrupts through his laughter.

“You’ll see why!” Julie tells him. She grins at the other three and together they lead him back into the studio and to the table where the cake is.

“Okay you can look now,” Julie says. “Happy birthday, Reggie!”

Reggie stares, completely taken aback, at the cake she’s made for him. Then, he turns and flings his arms around Julie’s neck, burying his face in her shoulder, and Julie hears a muffled ‘Thank you, Juls’.

“No problem, Reggie,” she laughs, “But you’ve yet to taste it yet. I’m no master chef so it might taste crap.”

“I won’t care,” Reggie says, shaking his head as he turns back to the cake.

"Not even if you die from food poisoning?" She giggles.

"Not even then," Reggie grins brightly, "Though I'd have to haunt you then obviously."

"Obviously."

“We’ve all got you a present, too,” Alex tells him. Julie doesn’t think Reggie’s face could get any brighter but somehow, miraculously, it does, especially when Luke pulls a badly wrapped parcel out of his bag.

“You really didn’t have to guys,” Reggie says disbelievingly. Luke shakes his head at the brunette and shares a soft smile with him.

“We wanted to,” he says firmly.

“Yeah don’t turn down free gifts, Reggie,” Flynn grins and the five of them settle around the table; Julie finds herself squashed between Flynn and Luke on the sofa while Reggie deposits himself on the floor in front of the cake and Alex settles beside him with Flynn II in his lap. Luke passes Reggie his present first.

“I saw it and thought of you,” Luke tells him quietly, a hint of nerves in his voice, “But if you don’t like it-”

“Let him open it first, Luke!” Flynn protests.

“Alright, alright.” He throws his hands up in mock surrender and the four of them watch avidly as Reggie tears the paper off. When he’s done he holds a black, shining leather jacket up to eye level. Almost as soon as he’s done so he’s crashing into the sofa and enveloping Luke in what looks like an almost suffocating hug. The two of them seem to have the same complete disregard for boundaries and need for physical affection.

“It’s perfect, Luke,” Reggie tells him when he’s seated again, his eyes looking suspiciously watery. He pulls the jacket on, looking every part the rock star. “Thank you.”

Reggie goes on to open Julie’s present, too - a ukulele.

“It was my mum’s,” she says, eyes on her hands where they’re clenched in her lap, “I only play piano and I’m sure she would’ve wanted it to go on being played.”

“Juls… are you- are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she says, looking up at Reggie’s vulnerable expression and pushing her own sadness aside. She knows it’s the right thing to do. “Reggie, I’m certain. I don’t want it lying around collecting dust.”

She feels a hand settle comfortingly on her arm and turns to meet Flynn’s reassuring smile.

“I’ll treasure it,” Reggie tells her sincerely.

Lastly, he opens Alex’s gifts. One; a soft chew toy for Flynn II that the puppy takes off of Reggie the minute he pulls it out, looking thoroughly content, and the other; a black necklace. Alex receives a hug much the same as Luke did, though responds to it with less vigour, and Reggie puts the necklace on and vows he won’t ever be taking it off.

They light the candles on the cake and Julie’s dad and Carlos join them to sing happy birthday. Julie watches Reggie grip Flynn’s hand, looking emotional, as he blows the candles out and she can’t shake the feeling that maybe someone hasn’t made a fuss out of Reggie’s birthday for a long time.

They snack on the food laid out on the table as conversation moves from one topic to another, before predictably landing on school and college. Through some miracle, both Luke and Alex plan to go to the same college, which happens to be within walking distance from Reggie and Flynn’s school. Apparently Luke hadn’t been intending to go to college, but as strong-willed as he is, his parents had convinced him to at least start there. Both boys are ecstatic about this and proceed to yell about it for a few minutes while Julie shares amused looks with Flynn.

As it turns out Flynn’s a lot less scary than she is over text. _Not_ that Julie would ever tell anyone that she’d thought her scary. Perhaps it’s because she’s able to see her smile in person, and the way it crinkles the skin around her eyes and makes her nose scrunch up a little. Perhaps that’s why Flynn seems so much softer, and lighter. Perhaps what Julie had misread as a crush was slowly shaping into something more.

“Alright, Julie,” Alex interrupts her thoughts, smiling cheekily, “That’s enough staring at Flynn for one day.”

Julie feels her cheeks heat and is glad that Flynn’s too deep in conversation with Luke and Reggie to notice Alex’s comment. She shoves him lightly on the shoulder.

“Shut up,” Julie mumbles, drawing a soft laugh from Alex.

“What? You should shoot your shot, Juls. She likes you,” Alex tells her quietly and Julie’s mind goes helpfully blank.

“I- Uh- I mean- What?”

Alex rolls his eyes. “I’m gonna interrupt your gay panic right there,” Alex says, glancing quickly at Flynn, “Julie, don’t be dumb, she _does_ \- it’s painfully obvious.”

Julie knows this, obviously, but part of her had always wondered that maybe Flynn was just joking when she flirted with her. Julie doesn’t want to get her heart broken; she doesn’t think she could handle it, especially now, and above everything else Flynn is first and foremost her friend. But hearing Alex say it out loud is comforting.

“Okay,” she nods hesitantly, “I just don’t want to compromise our friendship just yet. I want to get to know her more first.”

“That’s understandable, but don’t tell yourself she doesn’t feel the same way, alright? Because she does,” Alex tells her.

“Guys Reggie’s gonna play something,” Luke says, loudly interrupting their conversation, and gestures at where Reggie’s seated with the ukulele in his arms, quietly plucking the strings. Alex smiles reassuringly at Julie and she returns it.

The four of them settle back into their seats and listen to Reggie play a country song Julie’s never heard before, yet when Reggie starts to sing, voice soft and gentle, it feels almost familiar. Luke’s eyes have widened beyond belief, and his cheeks are flushed as he stares entranced at Reggie as he sings. When Reggie looks up and meets Luke’s eyes during the song, Julie feels like she’s intruding on a private moment as she watches Luke’s lips pull up into a smile, never taking his eyes off Reggie’s. And then he joins in. His voice is a little rougher than Reggie’s and it creates a beautiful contrast as their voices wind together and tangle as one, right up until the end of the song.

“That was beautiful,” Julie tells them when they’ve finished, and she wishes, desperately, that music wasn’t so painful for her anymore.

“Thanks,” Reggie grins, setting the ukulele down.

Before they know it the sky has darkened and Alex is telling them that he’s got to get back, and then Flynn, too. Julie’s reluctant for them to leave and Luke seems to share this sentiment, pleading that they stay another five minutes, and then another, and another, until finally Alex tells them he really has to leave and they follow him out to the car.

“We should go too, Reggie,” Flynn tells him quietly, as Alex hugs each of them goodbye, “My mum’s gonna be mad already that we’re two hours later than I said.”

Reggie’s gone suspiciously quiet and just nods his head in answer. Flynn calls her mum quickly and tells her they’re ready to be picked up.

“We’ll see each other soon, right?” Alex asks.

“Of course,” Flynn replies quickly, glancing at the others, “I had a great time today.”

Luke nods, “Yeah, I don’t wanna go too long without seeing you guys again.”

“We’ll discuss meeting up again on the groupchat,” Julie says, watching everyone’s faces lighten in relief. She laughs. “Stop being so morbid guys, we’re not saying goodbye forever.”

“Sure feels like it,” Luke mumbles.

“Well we’re not, alright?” She tells him firmly. Alex climbs into his car. “See you soon, Alex,” she grins, and the others follow in similar farewells and then he’s driving away into the dark.

Flynn and Reggie take just as long to say goodbye, if not longer because Luke says a very long winded goodbye to the puppy, involving lots of cooing and belly rubs. Flynn hugs Julie briefly, flashing a bright smile and cocking her head on one side coquettishly.

“See you around, Juls,” she smiles, shooting finger guns at her as she walks backward to where her mum’s just pulled up. Julie muffles her laughter in her hands, shaking her head fondly at the other girl. When she turns Luke’s got Reggie in his arms, looking for all the world like he’ll fight anyone who comes close, and he’s saying something quietly into his shoulder. She watches Reggie pull away, one hand slipped in Luke’s.

“Bye, Luke,” he says softly, and moves to hug Julie quickly. Then he turns, climbs into the car and closes the door behind him.

And then it’s just Julie and Luke left.

“You can’t sleep over I’m afraid, Luke,” she teases, turning to face him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he rolls his eyes, “I’ll get going. I had a great time today though, Julie.”

She smiles, “I’m glad.”

“And uh-- you should know…,” he trails off hesitantly.

“What?”

“Look, don’t be mad, Julie,” Luke says hurriedly, putting his hands out placatingly like she’s going to bite his head off. She thinks she might. “I didn’t mean to see it, alright? But… I did and uh--”

“See what?” she snaps, nervously, “Spit it out, Luke.”

“A song,” he says, eyes wide and voice completely sincere. “It looked like you had written it, and-- Listen, Julie, it was so good. I know you’re not writing or singing anymore because… well, you know. But you should know that you’ve got _serious_ talent.”

Julie stares at him, equal parts angry, sad and grateful. She doesn’t say anything for at least a minute, until Luke is shifting awkwardly on the spot looking like he might combust.

“Thank you,” she says eventually, “That means a lot.”

Luke’s face breaks into a relieved grin.

“But next time you see something that isn’t yours don’t go through it and read it, alright?”

He raises his hands in surrender, nodding quickly, “Yeah, I know, sorry.”

Julie nods, satisfied and then flings her arms around his neck.

“You should get going. You'll be alright yeah?”

“Yeah, Juls, I'll be alright.” He pulls back, giving her one last smile. “See you soon.”

And then she’s left alone in the dark, feeling twice as lonely now than she did before the four of them had arrived. She goes back into the studio quietly and stares at the piano for a while, taking in the sharp angles of mahogany and listening to the sounds of past laughter and music play out behind her eyes in her memories.

Without thinking about it, she picks up the song that Luke must have found, sits down at the piano and slides back the lid carefully to reveal keys of ebony and ivory. She ghosts her fingers over them, reveling in the feel of them, cool against her fingers.

Then, she plays.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willie tries to teach Alex how to skateboard and Julie and Alex have a conversation.

November passes in a blur of warmth and laughter for Alex, bittered only by his parents’ offhand comments. After Reggie’s birthday, the group had settled into a routine of video calling most days in the evening and had agreed to meet again at the beginning of December. But the four of them weren’t the only thing that had brightened Alex’s life so much, the other factor stood before him now, skateboard in one hand, the other gesticulating wildly.

“Alex, come on, are you even listening!” Willie laughs, shaking Alex from his thoughts.

“No, no, I got it I got it,” Alex protests, holding out a hand for Willie to pass the skateboard over. He places it on the ground and steps onto it, wobbling a little, and then pushes off with his foot. For a few seconds, he glides along smoothly and, perhaps a little too cockily, he turns to smirk at Willie, “Hey! Look at that! Alex can skateboard afterall-”

He leans a little too much to the right and the skateboard swerves and then skids out from under his feet, leaving Alex tumbling onto the ground.

“Ugh.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, what was that? You were saying something there, but I didn’t quite catch it,” Willie teases, jogging over to where Alex is sprawled on the ground. Who knew skateboarding was so painful.

“Shut up,” he groans, as Willie’s face appears above him, grinning fondly.

“You know this wouldn’t happen if you actually listened to me when I told you how to do it,” Willie smiles, holding out a hand to help him up. He slips his hand into Willie’s rough, calloused one and Willie pulls him upright so they’re face to face.

“I got distracted,” Alex says quickly, without thinking.

“Distracted?”

Alex stares at the other boy’s face, which is much closer than he’d originally realized. His gaze drops to Willie’s lips, chapped and bitten, a little rough but definitely close enough to--

Willie clears his throat.

“Yeah,” Alex says hurriedly, “Distracted. Distracted by… um- by-- I got distracted by-- uh, you see…”

“Right,” Willie nods, tilting his head a little, and Alex can see the beginnings of a smile curving the corners of those lips upwards. He lifts a hand and Alex watches, enthralled, as he tucks a strand of Alex’s hair behind his ear.

“Willie-” He starts, breath caught in his throat like a bird’s wings trapped by human hands.

“I know,” he whispers. His breath ghosts across Alex’s parted lips, and Alex notes, detachedly, that at some point one of them must have moved even closer. “Me too.”

The sound of a phone ringing startles the two of them.

“Fuck,” Alex curses as Willie smiles tightly and takes a step back. Alex pulls his phone out, reading the caller name.

“Julie?” He asks, “What is it?”

“Hey, look, do you have time to talk?”

Alex glances up at Willie, who’s jumped back on his skateboard, avoiding Alex’s eyes. Alex’s stomach twists.

“Yeah,” he replies, moving to sit at the top of one of the ramps in the skate park. “Yeah, of course. What is it, Julie?”

“I um… Well, I’ve been meaning to tell someone this for a while,” she starts hesitantly, “And I think you might be the best person to tell.”

Alex nods, forgetting she can’t see him, and feels pride swell in his chest that she’s turned to him. “What is it?”

“The day you four came round Luke found a song I’d written,” she tells him, “He told me it was good and… well it sort of inspired to start singing again.”

“That’s great, Julie!” Alex grins, “I’m so glad you felt comfortable enough to get back into it!”

“Yeah…”

“But why did you wait two weeks to tell anyone?” he asks.

“I just- I wasn’t sure if it’s what I wanted. I was scared,” she whispers the last part so quietly Alex can barely make it out, “I didn’t want to get everyone excited only to end up breaking down and not being able to bring myself to do it anymore.”

Alex nods again. “That’s okay, I can’t imagine how it feels but that’s understandable,” Alex tells her, “But you’re not scared anymore?”

“I’m fucking terrified,” she whispers down the phone, before breaking into nervous giggles. Alex lets out a relieved sigh.

“I’m sure that’s normal, Juls,” he tells her, raising his eyes to find Willie seated on the opposite side of the skate park, fiddling with the wheels on his skateboard. “You know, Luke and Reggie are gonna be over the moon when you tell them.”

“Yeah, that’s why I wanted to wait and tell you first,” she says, “They’d probably have just screamed incomprehensibly down the phone.”

Alex laughs. “They definitely would have. Does this mean you’d want to play together? The four of us?” He asks hesitantly.

“I’m not sure yet, give me some time?”

“Yeah, of course!” Alex says quickly, “I didn’t mean… I was just wondering.”

“That’s alright, it’s just... still painful for me. Don’t get me wrong it’s amazing at the same time, it makes me feel so much closer to my mum.”

Willie’s approaching Alex now, looking like he wants to talk. “Hey, Juls, could we talk more later? It’s just- I’m with Willie right now-”

“Of course! Why didn’t you say something?”

“You sounded like you needed someone to talk to.”

“Yeah…,” she replies softly, “Thanks Alex.”

“No problem, we’ll talk later, okay?”

“Okay, bye Alex,” she says.

“Bye!”

He disconnects from the call and looks up at Willie who’s stopped in front of him, running his fingers through his hair.

“Hey,” Alex murmurs, getting to his feet, praying they can go straight back to the moment before his phone had rang.

“I think we need to talk, Alex,” Willie tells him, looking steadily at his feet. Obviously not then. Alex’s stomach drops and the feeling of hopefulness is thrown aside and replaced with dread.

“We do?”

“Yeah. We do.” Willie looks up and meets his eyes straight on, unwavering, and Alex notes uncomfortably that they’re shuttered and emotionless, lacking their usual twinkle. Alex waits expectantly for the next words. Willie runs a hand through his hair again, nervously.

“You should know that I care about you, Alex. More than I thought I would,” Willie tells him sincerely but it isn’t even enough to put out the bitter feeling in Alex’s chest.

“But?” He asks sharply.

“But I think we should slow down.”

“Slow down?” Alex snaps, outraged and much louder than intended. He starts again, softer, trying to understand what Willie’s saying, “Slow what down, Willie? We haven’t even- We aren’t even-”

“No I know, I know,” Willie interrupts, sounding distressed, “ _Please_ , Alex. Please, just listen.”

That’s enough to get Alex to drop any selfishness he was holding protectively to his chest and let his concern win out. He reaches a hand out on instinct, to place it comfortingly on Willie’s arm, but pulls it back quickly, unsure. “Alright. Talk to me.”

“I was in a relationship for about two years until a few weeks ago,” Willie starts, “It wasn’t-- _I_ wasn’t… happy.”

Alex starts forward again, desperate to comfort the other boy in some way, and this time Willie lets him take his hand before continuing.

“Well, I was at the beginning, but it wasn’t the right kind of happiness. I was happy because someone like _him_ had looked at _me_. I was happy because it made me feel… worthy. But he- he was _really_ shitty, Alex,” Willie says, mouth curving downwards as if he’s reliving the memories, “And I didn’t even realise at the time. Everyone else must’ve been able to see it but I was too blissfully oblivious.”

When Willie looks up Alex isn’t surprised to see tears shining in his wide, brown eyes, he grips his hand tighter.

“Did he hurt you?” Alex whispers.

“Not in so many words,” Willie replies, eyes darting away from Alex’s again as if he’s embarrassed that he’s so affected by it. “But I just don’t think I’m ready to rush into a relationship yet.”

“Of course. I’m so sorry that you went through that and I’m sorry I snapped.”

“Don’t be sorry, you didn’t know what was going on,” Willie replies, finally looking up again, steadier and stronger than his expression before and Alex feels like he’s on a rollercoaster. No, forget that, he feels seasick; being thrust back and forth across the sea of emotions he’s feeling. He settles on compassion and squeezes Willie’s hand.

Willie nods a little, holding Alex’s gaze before asking, softly, “Someday though?”

“Someday.”

____________________

**Julie** : y’all i’ve got something to tell you

 **Reggie** : oh my god are you pregnant

 **Julie** : i

 **Flynn** : what

 **Luke** : reggie-

 **Alex** : sometimes i wonder what it’s like inside ur head reggie

 **Alex** : and then i try not to think about it because that is terrifying

 **Reggie** : hey! it’s a realistic assumption!!

 **Luke** : is it

 **Flynn** : reg pls inform us who the father is then

 **Reggie** : uhhh

 **Reggie** : oh wait

 **Julie** : oh wait

 **Flynn** : juls if you really are pregnant after all this idk what im gonna do

 **Julie** : alright to clear everything up

 **Julie** : I AM NOT PREGNANT

 **Luke** : oh thank god you really had me going there -.-

 **Alex** : we don’t need another baby

 **Julie** : i…

 **Julie** : i wasn’t aware we already had a baby

 **Alex** : we’ve got reggie

 **Reggie** : hey!!!

 **Reggie** : is this bully reggie day or something!!

 **Alex** : i meant it in the best way possible reg

 **Alex** : you’re cute and cuddly and small

 **Reggie** : i am NOT

 **Luke** : you sort of are though reg

 **Reggie** : I AM NOT

 **Julie** : reggie is baby

 **Julie** : anyway getting back to my important announcement

 **Julie** : luke sit down i don’t want you to pass out or smthn

 **Luke** : i’m worried

 **Reggie** : me too

 **Julie** : i started playing the piano again

 **Julie** : and singing

 **Julie** : someone say something please

 **Flynn** : i’m so proud of you julie!!

 **Alex** : cue reggie and luke screaming incomprehensibly

 **Luke** : OH MY GOD REALLY??

 **Luke** : DOES THIS MEAN WE CAN PLAY TOGETHER NEXT TIME WE MEET UP

 **Reggie** : JULIEEE

 **Reggie** : I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

 **Reggie** : I BET YOUR VOICE IS BEAUTIFUL

 **Alex** : juls we called it

 **Julie** : yup

 **Julie** : and the answer’s probably luke

 **Julie** : i’ll think about it

 **Luke** : WE’D MAKE SUCH A GOOD BAND

 **Alex** : don’t get ahead of urself

 **Luke** : WE NEED A NAME

 **Reggie** : we’ll come up with something

____________________

Alex is playing his drums in the garage when his phone rings, so he doesn’t hear it until the third time it calls when he’s taking a swig of water from his bottle. He swipes across quickly when he sees Willie’s name there.

“Hey,” Alex greets, already smiling.

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure we were still okay?” Willie asks uncertainly, “After today?”

“Of course we are, Willie.”

“Good. Because I- I really do care about you, Alex, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

Alex blushes, fiddling with the drumsticks in his hands. He pushes his nerves down. “I care about you too, Willie,” he tells him, and then, hesitantly, “Also, I was wondering… I’ll have to talk to my friends but you know that group chat I was telling you about a few days ago? We’re meeting up in a few days and if they agree, maybe you’d like to come along? Only if you want of course.”

“I’d love that, Alex,” Willie replies and his smile is audible in his voice.

“Okay, great! Just- the four of them are great and everything but Julie and Flynn are completely smitten with each other and Reggie and Luke are the same and sometimes I feel like a bit of a fifth wheel,” Alex tells him, knowing the four of them don’t intend to make him feel like that and it’s probably just his stupid brain overthinking everything again.

“I know the feeling,” Willie laughs, “I’m sure it’ll be great fun.”

“They might be pretty uh… enthusiastic about meeting you, though,” Alex says, “I might’ve already told them about you. A lot…”

Willie laughs again, bright and surprised. “You told your friends about me, Alex? You flirt.”

“No- No, that’s not- Well, I-” Alex starts, flustered, before Willie’s laugh rings down the phone again.

“Relax, I’m teasing,” Willie tells him. Alex huffs, embarrassed. “I’ve gotta get going, though. Text me?”

“Yeah, alright, see you, Willie.”

“Bye, Alex!”

The call ends and Alex glances up before nearly toppling off his stool at the sight of his mother standing in the doorway.

“Jesus, Mum,” Alex breathes, standing up with a hand on his chest, “You terrified me.”

She narrows her eyes and Alex wonders just how much of that conversation she was there for. He clenches his fists in frustration that even his mother can’t respect his privacy.

“That a boy you were talking to?” She asks, trying for casual but landing more on the side of interrogative. Alex bites the inside of his cheek.

“ _Yes_ ,” Alex says, defensively. He steps around his drum kit, feeling like he’s wading through a swamp of his own anxiety on the approach to where his mum’s stood, conveniently blocking his exit.

“Don’t speak to me with that attitude, Alexander,” she tells him sharply. She’s always been tall - the same height as he is - but with heels on it feels like she towers over him. He tries to breath slowly, calmly. “I came in here to tell you that dinner’s ready.”

“Alright,” he replies. The slits of her eyes watch him like a hawk. “Can I get past then please?”

She moves aside slowly and Alex rushes passed, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. He just can’t shake the sinking feeling of dread in his stomach as he sits down opposite his father at the dinner table and his mother joins them, between them. They eat in silence, as usual, the only sounds the soft clattering of cutlery and chewing and unless it’s Alex’s brain making it more than it is, his own shaky breathing. He knows what’s coming before his mother has even opened her mouth.

“Alex, we love you and care about you,” she starts, and that’s all it takes for Alex to drop his cutlery with a clatter and let out a sharp laugh. He doesn’t usually fight them. He’s not very argumentative, but something about being surrounded by people that actually care for once in his life makes him want to scream at the ones who don’t.

“Y’know if you have to preface what you’re about to say with ‘we love you’, it’s obviously not going to be something worth hearing-”

“Don’t talk back to your mother!”

His mum just smiles patronizingly and grits her teeth. “Alex, listen. This… _boy_ you were speaking with just now-”

The mention of Willie fuels his annoyance further, molding into fierce anger, “Oh, you mean my boyfriend?” He snaps. It’s not true, but Alex just wants to watch their faces fall. It works. Alex’s pulse is roaring in his ears for what seems like hours of silence as his parents stare at him.

“Alexander,” his father says quietly, and it’s a little scary and suddenly Alex isn’t angry anymore. The thudding of his heart is too loud and his breathing is too fast and the stares of his parents are too piercing.

Neither of them seem to notice his internal panic, they seem caught up in a silent conversation of their own. Apparently his mother wins out because she sighs heavily.

“Go to your room,” she tells him, “learn some manners and how to have a civil conversation, then we’ll talk.”

Alex doesn’t need to be told twice; he can tell when he’s on the edge of a panic attack, so he flees the room hurriedly, not stopping until the door to his room is shut firmly behind him and his back’s against the door. He sinks down, grappling for his phone from his back pocket and opens the group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which i once again fail to write ships that aren't slow burn. willie needed some backstory so my brain immediately made it angsty... i'm sorry.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flynn has an idea and the group meet Willie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead!! I swear!!  
> sorry for the small break but I've been super busy with work rn and couldn't find the time or motivation to write, but i'm back!!
> 
> also small disclaimer if it wasn't already glaringly obvious - i'm not american and the american education system completely baffles me so if anything sounds odd that's bc i'm a clueless idiot haha, feel free to correct anything :)

“Reggie!”

Reggie jerks his head up from where he’d been resting it on Flynn’s kitchen table. Supposedly they were ‘studying’ but Reggie had yet to open a single textbook and Flynn didn’t seem to care that he was half asleep in the middle of her kitchen. To be fair, after almost a month of relative calm between his parents they had apparently chosen last night to tear each other apart. Not literally, Reggie hopes, but he hasn’t seen either of them after he escaped at seven with Flynn II to give him a walk. So sue him if he’s falling asleep when Flynn’s invited him round to study.

“What?” he mumbles sleepily, bringing a hand up to where his puppy’s curled up on his lap.

“I’m a freaking genius!” Flynn yelps, shoving her textbooks aside and frantically opening up her laptop.

“Uhh… ok? I’m not gonna disagree, but you know we haven’t actually _taken_ the exams yet, right?”

“Not that, dumbass!”

“Alright, you might be a genius but I am not telepathic,” Reggie says slowly, “Mind telling what you’re on about?”

“Alex!” Flynn replies with a grin, eyes not leaving the computer screen in front of her, fingers tapping hurriedly at the keypad.

“Right. That clears everything up. Am I being stupid or something?”

“Alex’s _parents_ , Reggie,” she implores, looking up to meet his gaze. Last night Alex had messaged the groupchat, sounding very not-like-Alex in Reggie’s opinion, and had ranted about his parents and Willie. The four of them had concluded that Alex’s parents were homophobic peices of shit and Luke had called Alex to make sure he was alright. Reggie hates that he can’t give Alex a hug, because if anything, he really can sympathise with having shitty parents.

“ … Yeah?” He wants to help, but he didn’t think there was anything that could be done.

“And your parents,” Flynn continues, looking back down at the screen and biting her lip as if she knows it’s a tough topic. Sometimes Reggie regrets telling her, sometimes he thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever done. “And, I mean, Luke doesn’t sound like he’s too happy at home either.”

“You’re still not making much sense here, Flynn,” Reggie frowns, picking Flynn II up off his lap and standing up to move round the table to see her laptop screen. “So what, we all have shitty home lives? Is that what you’re saying?”

On the screen in front of her is a page showing apartments in LA for sale and rent. Reggie’s heart stutters.

“I’m not stupid, am I, Reg?” Flynn asks softly, after he doesn’t say anything for at least a minute. Reggie stares. “Tell me it’s a good idea,” she pleads, “Look, Luke and Alex are going to college just down the road, and we’re not too far away from Julie’s so she wouldn’t be far from her family.”

“All of us?” He whispers.

“All of us,” Flynn nods excitedly, and Reggie knows he’s impulsive and he can hear a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Alex telling him why it wouldn’t work but all he can think about is getting _out_. Something he hadn’t thought he’d be able to do for at least another 3 years.

“You’re a freaking genius!” Reggie repeats, squealing and launching himself at Flynn.

“I know!” Flynn yells, clutching him back.

“Hold on,” he mumbles and pulls away, “I’m- We don’t- I don’t have any money. Like… at all.”

Flynn just waves a hand at him like it isn’t a big deal. “That’s fine,” she tells him, “My parents would obviously be willing to help out and both Luke and Alex have got jobs and Alex strikes me as the kind of person to have millions saved up somewhere.”

Reggie grimaces. The idea of moving in somewhere without putting anything towards it isn’t one he likes.

“Obviously you’ll need to get a job eventually but for now we can work with what we’ve got,” Flynn tells him at the face he’s pulling.

“And… You and Julie are 17,” he says uncertainly.

“It won’t happen straight away, Reg,” she smiles, “We can find somewhere and then by the summer we’ll be old enough to move out.”

Reggie nods, breath caught in his throat and smiles hesitantly. Flynn giggles and squeals excitedly, turning back to her laptop.

“This one looks nice, don’t you think?”

“Yes! Look at that view!” Reggie grins, giddy with the thought of freedom.

Apparently the good things in his life just won’t stop coming, but Reggie’s not going to complain if it means he ends up living with the four people he loves most.

____________________

His excitement doesn’t last long. The five of them video call later and Flynn explains the idea to the others. Reggie’s not surprised when Julie speaks first.

“Guys… it’s a great idea but-”

“No, no, no, Julie,” Reggie protests, pouting at the screen, “No buts. None.”

“It’s just not very realistic,” she smiles guiltily.

“Julie!” Luke whines, “Don’t ruin it!”

“Alright, Julie’s not wrong; it isn’t realistic,” Alex starts.

“Not you too, Alex!” Reggie protests.

“But it _could_ be,” Alex continues with a roll of his eyes, “With proper planning and thought put into it.”

“Hell yeah!” Flynn yells at the screen.

“We can all be roomies!”

“Shotgun the biggest room!” Reggie shouts.

They spend the next half an hour excitedly discussing how it would work and what kind of place they’d all want until Alex tentatively brings up their weekend meet-up.

“We haven’t really discussed where we’re meeting up or anything?”

“I just assumed we’d meet at Julie’s again?” Flynn shrugs.

“I’ve got a better idea,” Luke grins and everyone looks terrified at the prospect. “It’s not bad! Have a little faith guys, c’mon! And before I say what it is - Julie you’re not allowed to say no straight away, okay?”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“My friend’s having a party that day,” Luke explains, and then, grinning sheepishly, “And… I sort of already asked if we could all come?”

There’s a moments silence while everyone digests what Luke’s just said. Reggie thinks it’s the best idea he’s heard in ages. He lets out a whoop of excitement.

“Hell yeah!”

“That’s… not a terrible idea,” Alex grins.

“I’m with Alex and Reggie, we’re going!”

“Juuulie?” Reggie asks, batting his eyes at the screen and pulling an over-the-top pout at her. She laughs and shakes her head.

“I wasn’t even going to say no!” She chuckles. “I think it’s a great idea and I know how to make it even better.”

“ _Better?_ ” Luke raises an eyebrow.

“That’s right,” she smirks, “We can meet at mine beforehand and you guys can bring your instruments?” she asks tentatively, causing absolute chaos to break out among the five of them. Reggie’s the only one not joining in, too focused on the way Luke’s smile crinkles the corners of his eyes.

  
_____________________

The weekend comes around quicker than expected and suddenly Flynn’s knocking at his door, dressed in a short, velvet black dress patterned with tiny, gold stars and Reggie self consciously blushes at his boring ripped jeans, tank top and leather jacket outfit choice.

“Damn, Reggie,” Flynn wolf whistles, smiling lopsidedly at him and immediately settling his nerves, “If I wasn’t utterly in love with one Julie Molina you might just turn me straight.”

Reggie winks jokingly at her. “You know it,” he grins, “Anyway you can talk - you’re going to give Julie an absolute heart attack when she sees you in that dress.”

“That’s the plan,” Flynn smirks.

Reggie shakes his head in disbelief at her, grabs his guitar and pulls the front door shut behind him. Only once they’re settled in the back of Flynn’s mum’s car does Reggie turn to Flynn thoughtfully, chewing on his lip and trying to make out Flynn’s expression in the flashing street lights they pass.

“Hey, Flynn?” Reggie asks uncertainly, “Are you being serious when you say stuff like that?”

“What?”

“When you say you’re in love with Julie?” He asks. “Are you joking or…?”

Flynn turns her head away so he can’t see her face. Reggie knows she’s upfront about her feelings and definitely not afraid to let everyone know what they are but something like this… he’s not sure.

“I think I might be, Reg,” she whispers after a moment.

“In love?”

She turns and meets his eyes and nods slightly, the smallest smile gracing her lips. Reggie’s eyes widen slightly, but he smiles back, unsure why it seems like such a surprise. Maybe because love seemed to be something that was hard to come by before he met Flynn, Luke, Alex and Julie. Now it seems to be blooming everywhere.

“Cool.”

“Cool?” Flynn snorts.

“Yeah,” Reggie grins back, “Cool.”

The pair of them spend the rest of the drive belting out the songs playing on the radio, driving Flynn’s mum mad and laughing so hard they’re breathless.

“Hey, what do you think Willie will be like?” Flynn asks when they pull up at the house. Alex had told them just a few days ago that he’d invited Willie too if they were cool with that; of course the four of them had been absolutely ecstatic to finally be meeting the man they’d heard so much about.

“If he’s anything like Alex described, he’ll be an absolute goofball and he’ll fit right in.”

“Only you would answer that question with ‘absolute goofball’,” Flynn rolls her eyes as they climb out of the car and approach the house. Reggie can hear Luke’s laughter, louder than anyone else’s, and what sounds like catcalls coming from Julie. Flynn pulls open the doors to the studio revealing the scene.

Alex seems to be in the middle of performing some kind of dance routine in the centre of the room, while Luke is clutching his stomach with laughter and Julie’s whooping loudly. The other boy - Willie, Reggie assumes - is laughing too.

“Reggie!” Luke cries, wide smile splitting his face, and Reggie flushes.

“Hello? I’m here too,” Flynn mutters beside him.

“Are you guys only capable of turning up to places an hour late?” Alex asks teasingly, coming up and hugging the two of them in turn.

“It’s totally Reggie’s fault,” Flynn tells him.

“I had to make sure Flynn II was okay,” Reggie rolls his eyes, “My parents found out about him,” Reggie explains, with a shrug, “Surprisingly they didn’t really seem to care, but I’ve left him at home today with strict instructions for my mum to let him outside at least once.”

“Reg,” Luke shakes his head at him, putting on an air of disappointment, “No one would’ve cared if you’d brought him.”

“It’s a party,” Reggie frowns.

“It’s too late now anyway, ” Alex shrugs, grabbing Willie’s arm and tugging him off the couch, “This is Willie, you two. Willie, this is Flynn and Reginald.”

Reggie scoffs and shoves at Alex’s shoulder. “Just Reggie,” he smiles at Willie, holding out a hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.”

“Yeah, we’ve heard _loads_ about you, Willie,” Flynn butts in, grinning mischievously. Willie flushes a deep red and rubs the back of his neck, darting a look at Alex.

“Oh- uh- really?” He asks and Flynn giggles.

“Oh my god you were totally right Alex, he’s adorable. You two are made for each other!”

“Oh- oh no. No- We’re not- uh-” Alex mumbles.

“Whatever,” Flynn shrugs, “You’re still made for each other.”

“Ignore them,” Alex tells Willie, “They’re idiots.”

“Anyway…” Julie speaks up from where she’d been staring shamelessly at Flynn’s outfit, “We’ve got an hour till we should be getting there, right, Luke? And you guys were so insistent on us playing together, right?”

“I like your thinking, Juls,” Luke grins, reaching into his backpack and pulling out a small notebook. “Alright, I’ve got tons of songs written down in here, we could pick one and work on that?”

“Sounds good to me,” Reggie grins. He takes the notebook and flicks through, landing on one with particularly romantic sounding lyrics, Reggie frowns, feeling something like jealousy unfurl in his chest.

“Not that one,” Luke says quickly, over his shoulder, and Reggie can feel his breath on the side of his face. He lets out a breath and flicks past it, picking out one that sounds less like a love song.

“This one?” He asks, and they all agree.

Reggie slings his guitar over his shoulder as Julie settles into the piano opening, strumming the strings gently with his fingers. Oddly - or perhaps it would have been expected - the four of them seem to bounce off each other perfectly. Luke’s voice is just as heartstopping as Reggie remembers but the sight of him strumming his guitar in a tank top, eyes lit up with a fire that he’s never seen in them before is enough to drive Reggie wild. Alex is perfect on the drums, hitting every beat on time and occasionally joining in with the vocals.

What surprises them all most is Julie; her voice is strong and confident and perfectly harmonious with the rest of the music. Reggie gets a sense that maybe this is exactly where he’s meant to be and what he’s meant to be doing with his life.

He edges closer to Luke’s mic, what feels like a magnetic pull in his chest drawing him towards the brunette. Reggie’s hesitance is completely diminished when Luke beckons him over, still belting into the microphone, not breaking eye contact with Reggie for a moment.

By the end of the song, Reggie’s completely lost in the fire of Luke’s eyes, singing centimetres from the other boy’s face. Only distantly does he notice the last notes being played out and the loud applause coming from Flynn and Willie; all he can think about is Luke and the fact that he’s suddenly realising that he might be even further gone for him than he’d originally thought.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group go to a party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always thank you so much for your lovely comments, they always make me smile!! <3  
> parts of this chapter i'm super pleased with and other parts i lowkey hate so i hope it's alright, because i don't want to wait any longer to post it hehe
> 
> this chapter is from multiple characters' povs - reggie, julie and alex's - but it should be pretty obvious whose pov it is :)
> 
> cw for the use of a homophobic slur

The song finishes and despite the evident feeling of elation and pride in her chest, Julie can’t find it within herself to join in with the others’ excited applause. She hastily brushes a hand across her cheeks, inhaling a deep breath and letting herself relax.

“Julie?” Alex asks hesitantly beside her.

“I’m alright,” she reassures him. He pulls a face of pure disbelief at her and she chuckles softly.

“Seriously, Alex, I’m good,” she tells him, “That was just…”

“Amazing, right?” Alex grins. “And that was only the first time we played together.”

“Yeah,” Julie laughs breathlessly, “I don’t know where you guys have been all my life.”

Alex pulls her into a warm hug and Julie buries her face in his shoulder.

“We’re here now, though,” Alex murmurs.

“Now you’re being sappy, Alex,” Julie laughs into his jumper.

“Who’s being sappy?” Flynn asks from behind them and suddenly there’s another set of arms wrapping around her.

“Please remember me when you’re famous, Juls,” Flynn whispers.

“Dumbass,” Julie mutters back, “You’ll be up there with me.”

“Damn right I will,” Julie can hear the smile in her voice, and she’s certain she’s about to say something even sappier than Alex when Flynn speaks again, “Also, did anyone else notice that Luke and Reggie, looked like they were highkey about to kiss?”

“What?!” Julie and Alex yelp simultaneously, pulling out of the embrace. Her gaze finds Reggie - talking a mile-a-minute to Willie who miraculously seems to be keeping up - and Luke, still strumming his guitar softly, notebook open on the top of the piano in front of him, thoughtful expression on his face.

“Damn,” Flynn mutters glumly, “Ten dollars says they’ll kiss by the end of the night, though.”

“That’s never gonna happen,” Alex shakes his head at her, “You’re on, Flynn.”

“Guess you’ll be saying goodbye to ten dollars by the end of the night then,” Flynn smiles confidently, touching her tongue to her front teeth. Alex just raises his eyebrows and shakes his head, and Julie laughs at the pair of them.

____________________

The party is already packed by the time they arrive, the crowd moving as one in time with the music. Luke, Reggie and Flynn look right at home under the flashing neon lights amongst a crowd of people, whilst Julie thinks she feels a lot more like the expression of horror reflected on Alex’s face.

“Bobby!” Luke yells over the loud music, pulling the passing stranger into a firm hug. “This is the guy who’s hosting all this,” Luke explains, turning to the group of them, “Bobby, this is Alex, Willie, Flynn, Reggie and Julie.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” Bobby grins, nodding his head in greeting, “I’ll see you around, yeah?” He tells Luke with a slap on the back before disappearing back into the crowd.

Julie turns to the others only to find that Reggie, Luke, Alex and Willie have all disappeared into the crowd too and it’s just her and Flynn left.

“Don’t look so terrified, Juls,” Flynn laughs, linking their arms together.

“I’m not terrified!” Julie protests, struggling to make herself heard over the music, “I’m just not really a party kind of person!”

Flynn shakes her head at her, smiling fondly, “Well I guess it’s my job to _make_ you a party kind of person then. C’mon! Let’s dance!”

Suddenly she’s being dragged into the crowd too, Flynn’s palm warm where it’s wrapped around her wrist and whatever terrible pop song that’s playing loud in her ears.

____________________

“Spin the bottle?” Reggie asks sceptically. He and Luke seem to have broken away from the other four and now, after at least half an hour of dancing non-stop, Luke is proposing the most cliche party game out there. Luke nods dopily from where he’s hanging off Reggie’s shoulder, one arm wrapped around his torso, the other clutching a bottle of beer. He doesn’t feel like it’s his place to tell Luke that maybe he needs to slow down on the alcohol. Reggie himself hasn’t touched a single drop.

“Yeah, it’s only a small group of us doing it. It’ll be fun!” Luke pleads, and how could Reggie refuse that smile and those wide brown eyes. He smiles, letting himself relax.

“Yeah, go on then,” he grins. It’s worth it when Luke’s smile brightens even further. They join the small circle of people, sitting with a bottle placed ominously in the centre, and Reggie finds himself squished against Luke’s warm thigh on one side and a girl with a genuine smile and kind eyes on the other.

“I’m gonna assume you all know the rules,” the guy Reggie recognises as Bobby from the start of the party tells the group, brushing strands of brown hair from his eyes and smirking up at them, “You spin the bottle and have to kiss whoever it points to, got it?”

There’s a collective murmur of agreement from around the group and Bobby nods, grinning. “I’ll go first then.”

He leans forward and spins.

____________________

Alex is having the time of his life.

He’s never typically been a partier but now, with Willie dancing beside him, the lights flashing neon, and the pop music blaring loud, he doesn’t think he’s ever felt so free. Alex dances like nobody’s watching. He forgets about his parents and their expectations and the feeling of panic that seems to constantly be squeezing at his chest and lets himself go.

“Hey, Alex! I’m gonna get another drink, you coming?” Willie yells over the music after an indefinite amount of time has passed with just the two of them dancing among the press of sweaty bodies. Alex doesn’t want to raise his voice over the volume of the party so he just grips Willie’s hand and nods, pulling the pair of them through the crowd.

“You okay?” Willie asks gently when they reach the kitchen. Alex smiles softly.

“I’m fine, Willie,” Alex reassures him, “No need to be worried.”

“Hey, nothing wrong with checking in, man,” Willie grins, raising his hands in mock surrender before turning and grabbing a beer. “D’you wanna go outside?”

Willie motions to the wide spread folding doors across the back of the house, pulled wide open to reveal the crisp, dark December night outside and let a breath of air into the party.

“Sure.”

They settle side by side on Bobby’s patio steps, inches apart until Alex starts shivering. Willie moves closer, holding an arm out as an invitation and Alex doesn’t hesitate to settle into his side, resting his head on Willie’s shoulder, the other man’s arm holding him close.

  
____________________

Julie’s not going to lie; she is definitely more than a little drunk. Not just on the copious amount of alcohol she must’ve consumed within the last hour, but on the rush of adrenalin from letting herself go for a night. The feeling of Flynn’s body pressed against hers isn’t helping much either.

Julie shamelessly swings her hips to emphasise her point, watching Flynn’s eyes drop to her lips momentarily in the flashing neon lights. She grins at the other girl, realising that making Flynn nervous is all too much fun. Flynn rolls her eyes, but the smirk pulling at her mouth says everything Julie needs to know about how she feels about their proximity.

“You’re doing that on purpose,” Flynn mutters, face flushed, and she’s close enough that Julie can hear every word and feel her breath ghost across her face. Julie bites her lip to keep her grin from spilling out across her face.

“So what if I am?” Julie teases. “You like it,” she whispers, leaning in so Flynn will hear.

Flynn’s eyebrows shoot further up her forehead and her smirk deepens as if to say ‘two can play that game’. She moves her hands onto Julie’s waist and her touch feels like it’s burning through the fabric of her jacket. Julie meets Flynn’s eyes and for a moment she forgets there’s anyone else in the room, despite the sweaty bodies jostling her and the voices shouting over the music. It’s dangerous and, if Julie wasn’t so intoxicated, she would say it’s stupid but she wants nothing more than to kiss Flynn in that moment.

“Who knew you had it in you, huh, Juls?” Flynn smirks, and Julie feels a little like she might combust under the warmth of her gaze and the feel of her touch and the proximity of her body, “If anything, I’d have thought you’d-”

Julie presses her mouth against Flynn’s.

Later, she’ll come to realise that maybe it wasn’t the brightest idea she’d ever had, but in the moment it’s the only thing she wants to do. It’s only for a split second, Julie placing her hands on the other girl’s cheeks and leaning into her body, but it’s enough to tell her that this is what she wants.

She pulls back, only by an inch or so, to read Flynn’s expression of pure shock, keeping one hand on her cheek and letting the other card through her braids. Julie’s as shocked as Flynn by her decision. She watches through half-shuttered eyes as the other girl’s gaze darts around her face uncertainly, and wants nothing more than Flynn’s lips on hers again.

Flynn seems to come to a decision, because suddenly the uncertainty clears and they’re kissing again, only this time Flynn’s kissing back, bold and unafraid, just like her. It emboldens Julie’s own confidence as she pushes herself up against Flynn’s body, walking them backwards through the crowd until they hit the wall, not breaking contact for a second.

It’s everything Julie ever wanted.

There’s something in the way Flynn’s hand slips through her hair, in the way she tastes of the beer she’d put down just so she could dance with Julie, in the way she gasps breathlessly into Julie’s mouth. Julie can’t get enough of it. Suddenly Flynn’s flipping them round and Julie finds her back against the wall, but the only thing she can think about is Flynn’s lips, soft and open-mouthed against her own, sending her senses into oblivion.

  
____________________

“Now that’s what I call a kiss!” The girl next to Reggie hollers as the pair that had just spun the bottle pull apart.

Reggie’s eyes aren’t on the couple who just made out shamelessly in the middle of the circle though. He thinks it’s beginning to turn into a problem; his inability to tear his eyes away from Luke even when he’s meant to be focusing on something else. Soon enough his feelings for Luke will be obvious and Luke will end up hating him for it, he’s certain.

“Alright, Luke, no pressure,” Bobby jokes, “It’s your turn.”

Reggie pulls himself sharply from his thoughts, a deep pit of regret forming in his stomach at the idea of watching someone other than himself kiss Luke. This was a bad idea. But it’s too late to leave now without looking suspicious.

Luke leans forward and spins the bottle, letting it blur into an amber blob as it spins around the circle. It slows, and suddenly Reggie’s stomach drops even further at the idea that-

That it might land on _him_.

The bottle stops, pointing mockingly at Reggie’s black boots.

_Oh god._

He glances up at Luke’s face, pale, and staring in shock at the bottle. The crowd is whooping and cheering loudly and Reggie wants nothing more than to shut them all up. But he _wants_ this - he’s been wanting this from the minute Luke sent the picture of himself to the group chat and Reggie’s heart had stumbled and skipped, maybe even a little before that.

So he offers Luke a shaky but reassuring smile, hoping to convey that it’s okay with him. Luke isn’t even looking at him though.

“Luke,” Reggie mumbles to the other boy, who's running his hand through his hair nervously and not meeting Reggie’s eyes. “Luke.”

Luke’s shaking his head, and if it was possible Reggie’s stomach would drop right through the soles of his feet and greet the earth below. Embarrassment washes steadily over him. Luke shakes his head once more, glancing once at Bobby, who’s the only member of the group whose cheering seems to have faltered, letting his eyes flicker for not more than a second over Reggie’s face, and then getting unsteadily to his feet and disappearing into the crowd.

The group falls quiet. Reggie stares at his hands.

“Oh shit,” the girl beside him whispers, “Hey, dude, it’s no big deal-”

Reggie doesn’t stick around to hear the rest of what she’s got to stay, clambering shakily to his feet and leaving in the opposite direction to Luke.

____________________

“Get out of the way!” Alex yells at the couple making out against the sink in the bathroom, surprising himself at the tone of his voice but making them break apart quickly with terrified looks on their faces.

“Sorry,” Alex says quickly, “Pretend I said that nicer.”

Hanging off his arm, Willie sniggers, before holding his hand to his mouth muttering a muffled “oh god”, rushing to the toilet and depositing the contents of his stomach inside it.

Alex moves to his side quickly with a grimace, brushing a hand through his hair and pulling it back out of the way.

“Hey, it’s alright,” he whispers, running a soothing hand over his shoulder.

“I’ve drank _way_ too fucking much,” Willie groans when he’s done, sitting back on his heels and letting his head rest against Alex’s chest.

“You have,” Alex confirms, “Any particular reason?”

Willie moves clumsily off of Alex’s chest so he can meet his eyes. He’s silent for a moment before he says softly, “Yeah.”

“Care to share?”

Willie ducks his head in embarrassment. “It helps me forget,” he whispers.

Alex pulls Willie back to his chest, conscious of the fact that they’re still curled on the bathroom floor. “About your last relationship?” Alex asks softly.

Willie shakes his head, “No. That we’re not together.”

That makes Alex pull away sharply again so he can see Willie’s face, which is painted with regret at his words.

“What?”

“I just- Alex, I really _really_ like you,” Willie says, pleading. Alex shakes his head.

“You’re drunk,” Alex tells him firmly, “You told me you wanted to wait.”

“Yeah, I know. I _know_. I was trying to be sensible, but I’m sick of it. I’m really sick of it, Alex,” Willie begs, eyes wide and wet and pleading and Alex wants nothing more than to give in. But under the bright lights of some stranger’s bathroom with Willie in his arms, he knows with complete certainty that if he did it would be a mistake.

“Come on,” he says softly, pulling himself off the cold tiles, and taking Willie with him, “I think you need to go home.”

Willie doesn’t protest other than an endearing, slightly sassy roll of his eyes, and lets Alex pull him to the door.

“Wait,” Willie says before he opens it, “I just need you to know that I mean every word, okay? And I’m not just saying it because I’m drunk.”

Alex nods uncertainly. “Okay,” he mumbles.

The party’s still raring outside, as Alex fights through the sea of people to find his friends.

“Alex!” Someone shouts, and then he has an armful of Luke, too.

“I want to go home,” Luke mutters, clinging to Alex’s jumper.

“You okay, dude?” Willie yells over the music.

“Yeah,” Luke nods unconvincingly, swaying on his feet, “I want to go home,” he repeats.

“Alright,” Alex nods, tightening his grip on both Willie and Luke and moving towards the door, “Not sure when I turned into the babysitter, though,” he mutters, encouraging a pout from Willie.

“Not a baby,” Luke mumbles, completely disregarding the statement when he proceeds to bury his face in Alex’s shoulder.

“Hey, Flynn!” Alex shouts, when he spots the back of her head. Only-

“Oh shit.”

“Oh my god,” Willie murmurs.

“What?” Luke asks, voice muffled into Alex’s shoulder.

Flynn has Julie pressed against a wall and appears to be kissing her senseless, though Julie’s giving back just as good.

“They’re kissing,” Alex informs Luke, disbelievingly.

“Flynn! Julie!” Alex shouts again, and the pair turn quickly, cheeks flushing dark when they find the three of them standing there, eyebrows raised. They approach slowly, both at complete odds to each other; Flynn with a smug grin on her face, and Julie with eyes that have widened impressively, who seems to be doing everything she can to fix her hair and clothes.

“Took you long enough,” Alex grins at Flynn, when the pair reach them.

“Julie made the first move actually,” Flynn counters, a look of pride on her face, “You should’ve seen her.”

Julie stares mortified at the floor, cheeks flushing even darker.

“Damn, Julie!” Alex smirks. “I guess you weren’t too far off with that bet then, Flynn, still owe me ten dollars, though.”

“Unless Luke’s got something to tell us about a secret make-out sesh with Reggie,” Flynn jokes, prodding Luke. Luke mumbles something inaudible into Alex’s shoulder that closely resembles ‘fuck off’.

“I’m taking that as a no,” Alex rolls his eyes, “Don’t take any offense, Flynn, he seems a little grouchy.”

“Speaking of Reggie,” Julie speaks up, “Where is he?”

“Outside,” Flynn answers after pulling out her phone. “Waiting for us apparently.”

“Alright let’s go.”

____________________

“Reg!”

Reggie looks up from where he’s seated himself on the steps up to Bobby’s house to find Flynn and Julie walking towards him and not far behind them - Alex, with Luke and Willie either side of him. Somehow the sight of them doesn’t make him feel much better.

“Can we go,” Reggie whispers when Flynn and Julie reach him and the others are still out of earshot.

“Yeah we’re leaving now, Reg,” Julie nods, holding out a hand to pull him to his feet.

“Everything alright?” Flynn asks, gaze darting from Reggie to Luke.

“Fine,” he replies quickly, as the others reach them, pulling his jacket tighter around his shoulders against the cold and avoiding Luke’s gaze. “I just don’t wanna stay any longer.”

Alex starts saying something in reply, arm still entwined with Willie’s, but whatever he says leaves Reggie’s mind seconds later when someone jogs up the path to the house and passes them, laughing.

“Fucking faggots,” the stranger mutters under his breath and Reggie’s stomach plummets. The comment appears to be directed at Alex and Willie’s joined hands. But Reggie doesn’t look at their hands. He looks at Alex’s face, illuminated in the porch lights of Bobby’s house, watches the smile fall and his shoulders rise.

Inexplicably, Reggie’s eyes flick to Luke’s before anything happens, almost as if he’s seeking safety from him despite everything. Which is funny, really, when Luke’s jaw clenches and he balls his fists and then--

Chaos.

“LUKE!”

There’s a sickening crunch when Luke’s fist connects with the man’s face. There’s a familiarity to it that Reggie knows too well.

“STOP, LUKE!”

He’s on top of the stranger, raining punch after punch down on him. Reggie only distantly notices that he’s trembling himself, taking shaky steps back, away from the scene.

“LUKE!”

Luke seems oblivious to the others’ screams. Reggie watches unfeelingly as Willie grabs him by the shoulder and tears him off of the guy.

Luke struggles against Willie’s grip. “Fuck off!” he yells at the stranger, voice hoarse. The man only sneers, cupping his bloody nose.

“Disgusting,” he mutters, but seems to accept defeat as he retreats into the house, walking unsteadily and obviously with pain. A sense of detachment floods Reggie’s senses as he watches the other four swarm over Luke in concern and exasperation. He wants to ask Luke if he’s alright. He wants to run a hand over his cheek and whisper for him to relax. He wants to be there for him, as Luke would undoubtedly be for him if their places were reversed.

But his mind has other ideas.

Nobody seems to notice when he pulls even further away from the group, stumbling back shakily down the steps. All he can see is his father raining punches down on his mother. Loud shouts and shattering glass. Washes of purple and blue, turning to yellow.

Reggie sees a flash of Luke’s bleeding and bruised fist from where it’s cradled in Julie’s hand and feels sick to his stomach. Those are his father’s fists.

So he does the only thing he’s any good at at this point; he flees.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Willie and Flynn go after Reggie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ended up being longer and angstier than intended but it's cool. also i'd like to preface this chapter by saying that yes ofc this fic will have a happy ending and everyone will work through their shit eventually :)  
> hopefully i'll be able to update much more frequently as i'm off college for the next three weeks!

“Jesus christ, Luke, calm down!”

“That guy was a prick.”

“Dude, you really didn’t have to do that, though.”

“Are you okay?”

“Luke, are you alright?”

“Hey- Luke? Luke. He’s gone, it’s fine.”

Luke hardly realises he’s being pulled forwards into a hug until Julie’s arms are wrapping snugly around him, and her embrace is suddenly the calm his mind needed to wash away the anger. She pulls back slightly, taking hold of his hand as carefully as one might hold a baby and gently uncurling his bloodied fingers.

“Jesus, Luke, what were you thinking?” Alex whispers shakily from Luke’s side. Luke can’t answer that question because truthfully he has no idea - he _hadn’t_ been thinking.

Luke lifts his eyes shamefully to the group, where Willie’s pulling a first-aid kit out of his bag and passing it to Julie without hesitation, Alex’s hand is still stubbornly intertwined with Willie’s but his other arm is anchoring Luke to the group, wrapped around his shoulder. Luke meets Flynn’s eyes last, shocked and confused, at the same time as the two of them come to the exact same conclusion-

“Reggie,” Luke says, the first word out of his mouth since he completely lost control. Reggie isn’t there; Reggie’s _gone_.

“Oh my god,” Flynn whispers, face paling as she pulls out her phone.

“Reggie-” Luke repeats as he snatches his hand from Julie’s grasp and ducks from under Alex’s arm to move away from the four of them. He throws his head back in bitter frustration, covering his face with his hands. “Oh god, I’ve fucked everything up.”

“Where’d he go?” Alex asks, a note of panic entering his voice.

“Luke,” Willie reasons, his voice calmer than anyone else’s as he approaches Luke with his hands held up like he’s taming a wild beast. “Calm down, alright? This isn’t your fault-”

“Yes it is!” Luke scoffs, voice turning to an ugly condescending tone to hide the regret beneath it, “You don’t- You don’t understand! It’s _all_ my fault! _I_ pushed him away, _I_ wouldn’t play that stupid fucking game with him and now I’ve fucking scared him away by beating a guy half to death in front of him!”

“He did sort of deserve it though,” Willie mutters. “The homophobe, I mean.”

“Luke, I think you’re blowing it out of proportion a little,” Julie reasons calmly, “You only got a few hits in, and probably broke his nose- he’s not half-dead, alright?”

“That’s not the fucking point, Julie!”

Julie shrinks a little at that. “Don’t be an asshole, we’re trying to help,” she tells him, “I know you’re upset and you clearly haven’t had a good night but that doesn’t justify you acting like this.”

“Guys, I think we should be less worried about how injured the homophobe is and more worried about where the fuck Reggie’s gone,” Flynn snaps. The level of fear in her voice immediately quells any reply that might have been forming in Luke’s throat. He knows she’s right.

Luke glances across at Alex where he’s repeatedly ringing Reggie’s phone with no success.

“I’m such a dick,” Luke mutters, dropping onto the steps they’re standing on. Julie positions herself next to him and goes back to wrapping his bleeding knuckles up.

“No. You’re not,” she tells him firmly, “That guy completely deserved that.”

“And Reggie?” Luke whispers, because he _knows_ there’s something deeper than just what Flynn’s told them about Reggie’s parents, and why Reggie moved to LA in the first place, and he knows the others know it too. Reggie deserves someone better than Luke.

Julie shakes her head at him in exasperation, “I’m sure you two will figure it out.”

“I don’t care what the rest of you want to do,” Flynn interrupts, “But I’m going to find Reggie.”

Her tone leaves no room for argument.

“Not on your own you’re not,” Alex tells her, “How about Julie takes Luke back to hers and Willie, Flynn and I look for Reggie? He can’t have gone far.”

“Absolutely not!” Luke protests, jumping to his feet again, “What- you think I’m just going to sit around and wait while Reggie’s out there, _by_ _himself!_ ”

“No, we think that whether you intended to or not, you scared him pretty badly, right? We don’t want to make it worse,” Flynn replies.

“Of course I didn’t intend to,” Luke mutters sulkily.

“We should probably get going though - he’s already had a head start.”

Luke watches regrettably as the three of them disappear into the darkness, leaving him and Julie sat side by side on the steps to Bobby’s house, the muffled music still blaring obnoxiously from within.

“I should’ve gone with them,” Luke murmurs, after they’re out of sight. Julie just smiles sadly at him, and leans her head on his shoulder in comfort.

____________________

As it turns out, whether by pure luck or perhaps a desire on Reggie’s half to be found, Reggie hadn’t got far.

His solemn silhouette crouches on the pavement, not more than two roads down from the one the party had been on, his back against the hard brick wall of someone’s garden and his outline illuminated by the streetlights.

“Oh thank god,” Flynn whispers, tearing away from Alex and Willie and approaching Reggie at a run.

She stops short when she reaches him and falls to the ground beside him.

“You gave me a complete heart attack, dumbass!” She tells him jokingly, feeling like she should offer a jovial punch to the shoulder but refraining from doing so. Reggie doesn’t lift his head from where it’s buried in the crook of his arm, resting on his knees.

“Reg?” Flynn tries again softly, “C’mon, he didn’t mean to scare you.”

She glances back at Alex and Willie for assistance, and they sit down beside her, completely blocking the pavement for any pedestrians which might be passing at this time of night.

“Reggie,” she whispers, reaching a hand out slowly to take his, it’s cold and he yanks it back. “Reggie, it’s freezing, let’s- let’s go home?” She tries uncertainly, worry breaching her voice. “ _Please?_ ”

“You know I’m not averse to picking you up and carrying you back home myself, Reggie,” Alex teases softly, leaning towards him.

Reggie glances up at Alex’s voice in surprise, revealing a pained, scared expression that looks at odds with Reggie’s usually so cheery features.

“Hey,” Alex smiles gently, and Flynn pulls back a little to let him take her place. He holds out a hand, and this time Reggie latches onto it, gripping tight. Flynn doesn’t want to think about why his hands are trembling so badly, so visibly.

“I’m sorry,” Reggie chokes out, eyes darting shamefully from each of their faces, not holding eye contact for more than a second before dropping down to the cracks in the concrete. Flynn shifts uncomfortably and offers him a half-shrug.

“No need to be sorry, Reg.”

Reggie takes a deep shuddering breath and avoids her gaze.

“Reggie,” Alex says, voice soft and warm and inviting, “You know that homophobic piece of shit definitely deserved a punch in the face?”

“No!” Reggie counters, except it’s not a word, it’s more of a choked out half gasp brimming with pain and sheer defiance. The internal conflict he seems to be having is written all over his face, clear in the darkness and clearest in eyes, shining with unshed tears. “That’s not-- It’s not-- You shouldn’t just--”

Flynn darts a glance at Alex, nervously, and sees his face drop quickly, obviously realising he must’ve said the wrong thing. His eyebrows scrunch slightly in confusion.

“Okay, okay,” Alex says placatingly over Reggie’s heavy, conflicted breathing, “You’re right. Of course, you’re right, Luke shouldn’t have punched him.”

This statement, however, does absolutely nothing in terms of calming Reggie down, rather sending him spiralling further downwards. “Exactly!” Reggie sobs, “He shouldn’t have-- but he did! I thought he was-- Why would he- He’s _Luke_!”

Flynn thinks of the time when one of her brothers, Danny, had lost his place at the college he’d been planning his whole life to go to. Specifically, she remembers the panic attack that had followed as she’d stood in the corner of the room, watching the letter fall from his hands and drop silently to the floor. He’d been visibly shaking and had staggered back against the wall, breath coming in short breathless gasps. Reggie’s having one now, she realises with sudden clarity, taking in his heaving chest and trembling hands.

“Reg-,” Flynn says desperately, watching Alex’s expression morph into one of realisation, “Reggie, it’s okay.”

She hadn’t known what to do with her brother, and she doesn’t know what to do now.

She crawls forwards on her hands and knees, brushing Alex’s hand out of the way, and trying to steady out her own breathing before taking Reggie’s cold hand in hers. Some part of her wants to take Reggie into her arms because that’s all she can think of to do to offer reassurance but she’s not sure how much he would appreciate it so she sits there, her arms sort of out in front of her uncertainly.

Reggie falls forward into them anyway. His gasping sobs muffle themselves in the fabric of her jacket and his hands come up to clutch tightly - too tightly - at her forearms. Flynn holds on as hard as she can, unable to shake the feeling that Reggie will float away from her if she lets go.

The embrace seems to spark both Alex and Willie into action because she feels Willie’s hand suddenly, warm and solid, land on where Reggie’s hand is gripping her arm and his soft reassurances fill the air.

“Reggie,” Alex says gently from somewhere beside her. Flynn doesn’t look up from where she’s buried her face in Reggie’s shoulder. “Breathe with me, okay?”

Alex’s exaggerated breathing and soft counting of inhales and exhales fades into background noise. Flynn doesn’t know how long the three of them sit there on the side of the road, the night sky turning everything to black but the small beam of light cast from the streetlight above them. However long it is, Flynn doesn’t care; she’d sit there for hours longer if Reggie needed her too. Which is strange, really, because as much as Flynn’s known herself to be an unfalteringly loyal person, she’s never met people that she’d willingly freeze to death for.

Alex stops counting sometime later, at which point Flynn pulls away from Reggie hesitantly. He lets her.

“It’s alright,” Flynn whispers, when Reggie ducks his head in embarrassment, practically curling into himself, and lifts a hand gently to cup his cheek and turn his face up towards her. The sadness etched into his expression makes her breath catch.

“Reggie,” Willie says, his voice steady and unwavering, “What do you want to do? What do you need?”

Reggie opens his mouth, and then subsequently closes it again. He turns his face away from the three of them, turning into Flynn’s shoulder, and shakes his head.

“Reggie,” Willie whispers, “Listen, I know it’s hard. I _know_. But we can’t help if we don’t know how to. We’re here for you, okay?”

The following silence hangs heavy, thick with unanswered questions and shaky breathing and uncertainty.

“ _Why_?” Reggie asks finally.

Except he doesn’t just _ask_ it; the single worded question leaves his mouth as a dying man would beg for life - desperate and pleading and aching.

“Why?” Willie parrots back to him in confusion.

“Why are you still here?” He demands, gesturing aggressively at the three of them, voice wavering dangerously close to sobs again, “All of you? What do you want from me?”

He pushes Flynn’s chest away from him and retreats backwards to the wall.

The sight isn’t one she thought she’d see when she first met Reggie; he was bright and selfless, bubbling over with so much happiness and laughter that it spilled out into the group of them and brought them together. But after getting to know him, it all seems to fall together in her head. She’s no psychiatrist, but she’s also not an idiot and having parents that barely acknowledge your existence is going to lead to trust issues. It makes perfect sense now, that Reggie would be so confused when people _did_ stay; and care, and love, and _acknowledge_ him.

“Reggie,” Alex says, and his voice sounds more than a little broken and terrified and confused, “Why _wouldn’t_ we be here?”

Reggie stares back at him. Alex tilts his head to the side a little, as if he’s deep in thought, and Flynn prays that he’s got something more to say, to help, because as usual Flynn can’t even begin to comprehend what to do to help. The words are just stuck stubbornly in her throat.

“Because we love you,” Alex settles on finally. This time his voice is steady when he speaks, with complete certainty.

“No,” Reggie replies, shaking his head, “You don’t- look, you don’t even _know_ me, Alex.”

“Yes I do, Reg,” he replies, “I know you’re kind and generous and really, really funny. I know you have a weird, but actually really endearing attachment to country music that’s supposed to be secret but everyone can tell. I know you’re the one who made me laugh when I had a panic attack because of my parents. I know you’re loyal and stubborn and you have the biggest heart. I know you’re the one who brought the five of us together. I know you’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had. And I know I love you, Reg, we all do.”

He glances at Flynn and Willie for validation and Flynn nods frantically, trying to convey that _yes, of course I love you, you great big dumbass._

“There might be parts of you that I don’t know, but Reggie there are parts of _me_ that _you_ don’t know. Like- like the fact that I pour my milk before my cereal, or.. That I actually really like dance but I’ve never properly done it because I’m scared of what my parents will think. Or that I’m pretty sure I have anxiety but have never actually been diagnosed. We can still love the parts of you that we _do_ know, Reg, the other bits aren’t important. I swear, Reggie, they don’t matter. Unless you’re a criminal, of course.” Alex finishes, a small breaking across his face.

Reggie seems to struggle for an answer, staring disbelievingly back at Alex and blinking once or twice.

“Shut up, don’t make me say all that again,” Alex mutters, flushing and shifting uncomfortably. Flynn chances a glance at Willie and then absolutely regrets it because of the sickening heart eyes he’s making at the side of Alex’s head. She’s a little scared he’s going to maul him right there and then.

“He’s right,” Flynn says, because she may not have known what to say but Alex seemed to be able to put it perfectly.

Reggie shifts and wipes his hand over his eyes with a long, tired exhale. “You’re barbaric,” he mutters, with a small sniff.

Alex lets out a short, slightly hysterical laugh. “What?”

“Honestly, Alex, you disgust me,” Reggie replies and looks up with a little smile, eyes red and cheeks wet, “You put your milk _before_ your cereal?”

The three of them burst into surprised peals of laughter and after a second Reggie joins in, too.

“He’s right, y’know,” Willie wheezes, slinging an arm around Alex’s shoulder, “I should leave you here and now for that comment alone.”

Alex blanches at the statement but before he can even open his mouth, Flynn watches, feeling a little like she’s intruding, as Willie presses a soft, affectionate kiss to Alex’s cheek. The look of shock on Alex’s face following this is completely laughable and sends both Flynn and Reggie into another round of giggles.

“Alright, Reggie,” Willie addresses him after a while, “I’m gonna ask the same question I did earlier, just try not to have another emotional breakdown, alright?” he jokes, softly, “What do you want to do?”

“I want to go home,” Reggie replies after a second, exhaustion colouring his voice.

“Home?”

“Or- back to Julie’s,” he corrects, hurriedly.

“Sounds good to me,” Willie replies, hauling himself to his feet and helping the other three of them up.

“Wait- Reg,” Alex starts, “You know… you know Luke’s back there already, don’t you?”

Reggie sighs heavily and nods. “Yeah, I guessed as much.”

“I don’t- I’m sorry, Reg, but I don’t think it would be a great idea to send him home, either, though,” Alex tries, one hand running through his hair nervously.

“No, of course not,” Reggie shakes his head thoroughly, “I wouldn’t- I honestly don’t mind. He’s not- I’m not going to kick him out!”

“Nobodies saying you would, Reg,” Flynn reassures, linking her arm in his as they start down the road. “Alex, could you call Julie and see if her dad could pick us up? I can’t feel my bloody feet,” she shivers.

“Yeah, of course.”

They walk in silence back to Bobby’s while Alex repeatedly tells Julie over the phone that _yes everyone’s okay_ and _no we haven’t caught hypothermia._

“Yet,” Flynn interrupts with a roll of her eyes.

“You know this doesn’t fix anything,” Reggie mutters to her. He closes his eyes and lets out a shaky breath. “Luke still… He still… I don’t know how I could ever-”

“Ever what, Reggie?”

“I like him. A lot.”

“No shit.”

“Oh.” Reggie blinks at her in shock. “Oh, well- I don’t know how I could ever be with someone that- that punched people like that. I don’t think I could handle it.”

“Reggie,” Flynn tries, gently.

“It’s fine,” Reggie says, in a voice that tells her that it is most definitely _not_ fine, “He doesn’t like me anyway. Not like that anyway.”

Flynn thinks about the way Luke looks at Reggie, like how she catches Julie looking at her sometimes, like Reggie is oxygen and he’s suffocating; like somehow, just Reggie’s presence is enough to make everything seem okay. She thinks about Julie’s lips on hers earlier, the taste of alcohol and something fruity. She laughs.

“You know that’s not true, Reggie.”

He shrugs, eyes downcast.

“Look, we’ve got so much time ahead of us,” Flynn tells him, channeling her inner inspirational-Alex voice and definitely doing a crap job at it, “I’m sure everything will sort itself out eventually.”

Somehow, she believes it.

____________________

“I’m not an invalid, Julie,” Luke mutters, as she tilts his head towards her for the fifth time in the last minute to look at the bruise that’s surely blooming on his cheek by now.

Julie offers him a stubborn smile and a glare. “Do I look like I care?” She snaps, with affection. She stands up from the sofa in the studio which they’re sat on and crosses the room to pick up one of the thick blankets that she’d folded neatly into a pile. She chucks it at Luke.

“Jesus, Jules,” he mutters, poking his head out from beneath it. “What the hell?”

“You’re dead on your feet,” Julie tells him, raising her eyebrows, “Get some sleep, idiot.”

Luke doesn’t think he could sleep now, even if he wanted to. The image of Reggie’s face during the game of spin the bottle is still imprinted in his mind, the way his eyes had shuttered, and his smile had faltered; because of Luke. Because Luke couldn’t just push his pride aside and kiss Reggie for a stupid game.

He’d wanted to though. _God_ , he’d wanted to. But Luke wanted to do it _right_. Call him a disgusting romantic but he wanted to kiss Reggie under a starlit sky or in front of a crimson sunset or in front of the crowd at their first gig or- anything but when he was absolutely wasted at some dumb party and playing a game that inevitably would have lead to that result anyway. Luke knows he wanted to play it just for that reason, but when the bottle had actually landed on Reggie… he couldn’t stomach the thought of it.

“Not happening,” Luke tells Julie, resignedly. He needs to know that Reggie’s alright.

Julie sighs and drops unsteadily back down onto the sofa beside him again. Luke realises suddenly how drunk the two of them still are, despite the reasonably sobering turn of events. He huffs out a laugh, despite none of it being altogether very funny.

“So…,” Luke starts, with a small teasing smirk, because he needs something to take his mind off of Reggie, “You and Flynn, huh?”

Julie’s head snaps up towards him, eyes comically wide at being caught out. “Don’t you dare say another word, Luke,” she mumbles with a frantic shake of her head.

“What? Are you embarrassed, Jules?” Luke cackles, biting his lip. “You made the first move, right?”

“Stop. Talking.”

“No but really though, Julie,” Luke whispers, leaning in secretively, “Was it… what you wanted?”

Julie’s mortified expression slips slightly into a little, lovesick smile. “She’s amazing,” Julie gushes softly, her voice giddy and… it strikes a chord in Luke. At least something good came out of the evening then, he supposes.

It takes almost an hour before Julie even gets a message from Alex letting the pair of them know that everything’s alright, and then a phone call for Julie’s dad to come and pick them up which Julie has to adamantly tell Luke he’s not allowed to join.

Luke’s phone reads 2.38 by the time the sound of an engine rolls into Julie’s drive, accompanied by soft voices and what sounds like Willie’s gentle laugh.

Luke pulls the blanket up higher from where he’s curled up on the couch so that only his face is visible and chances a glance at Julie nervously. She’s already told him that it might be best if they just go straight to sleep and talk through everything tomorrow. She sends him a reassuring smile which doesn’t manage to quell his nerves at all.

When the group enter the studio, Luke is struck first by just how tired the four of them look, and then realises that he and Julie must look appropriately similar; dark bruises under-shadowing their eyes and stiff, stilted movements.

Julie rushes straight up to them, while Luke remains rooted to the sofa, the sick, curling feeling of guilt and shame building steadily in his stomach. He doesn’t even look at Reggie - it feels like a breach of his privacy - instead staring steadfastly at the blanket he’s twisting nervously between his fingers.

“Luke,” Alex’s voice startles him, and he meets his gaze uncertainly. Alex shakes his head at whatever expression must be written all over his face, and rolls his eyes, exasperated. “C’mon, Luke, don’t be so dramatic.”

And then he crushes him in a firm, anchoring hug that settles the thudding of his racing heart. Luke doesn’t think Alex has ever hugged him first before; it always seems to be Luke pulling people into hugs and wrapping arms around their shoulders. Luke smiles into Alex’ hoodie.

“‘M not being dramatic,” he mumbles into his chest, muffled.

“Whatever you say, Luke,” Alex replies.

In the end he, Alex and Willie end up sprawled over the couch which turns out helpfully to be a pull out bed while Julie drags in a double mattress from the house for her, Flynn and Reggie. The group is dead to the world within minutes and Luke’s left, eyes wide open, curled on his side with his back to where Alex is huddled into Willie’s chest. He just can’t shut his thoughts off.

He doesn’t know how long he lies like that, his mind going through every possible scenario of what Reggie must now think of him and just _why_ the other boy reacted so badly. It leads to a very paranoid, very worried Luke. Eventually, he can’t take it anymore and shifts out from where Willie’s arm is thrown over his shoulder, getting to his feet.

“Luke?”

Luke topples forward, startling out of his skin at the sound of Reggie’s voice and falling halfway off the couch. Reggie’s fuzzy, black silhouette is just about visible in the darkness.

“Reg,” Luke gasps in shock, and then curses his mouth for letting the nickname fall so willingly from it when it feels like he doesn’t have the right to call him that anymore. “What are you doing up?”

There’s a short pause of silence and Luke can imagine Reggie weighing up whether or not he actually wants to talk to Luke or not. Luke wouldn’t if he was Reggie.

“Sleep doesn’t come particularly easily for me,” Reggie says wryly.

“Oh,” Luke replies, because he can’t think of a better answer and because he knows any kind of reassurance would feel wrong right now and because, really, he’s messed up tremendously and it’s the middle of the night and Luke can’t get his thoughts in order. Reggie hums awkwardly in reply.

“Listen, Reg- Reggie,” Luke stumbles over the nickname, and ignores the quiet ‘Don’t, Luke’ Reggie mutters into the darkness, “No, listen, I’m- I made a mistake, okay? I lost my temper and it was stupid but that guy totally deserved it.”

“Nobody deserves to be decked in the face, Luke,” Reggie tells him, and the frost in his voice sends chills down Luke’s spine.

“Well, I disagree,” Luke tells him, thinking about the horrible leer the idiot had worn on his face at Alex and Willie’s expressions. “And- and you can hate me as much as you want and I know you probably already do but I was standing up for my friends and I’d do it again.”

“But,” he continues warily, because he knows he’s done irreparable damage to their friendship and whatever else they could have been and most of all he hates the idea that what he did hurt Reggie, whether he wanted it to or not. “But I wouldn’t do it again if I knew how much it would hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, Reg. I would never do that.”

He listens to the sound of Reggie’s shaky breathing for at least a minute before Reggie even indicates that he’s still alive over there. There’s the sound of someone shifting and then a slow exhale.

“Of course I don’t hate you, Luke, don’t be such a drama queen,” Reggie mumbles. Luke knows that’s true, Reggie probably doesn’t have a hateful bone in his body, but it still feels like a great tide of relief washing over him.

“I just don’t think you’re the person I thought you were,” Reggie tells him. Luke’s stomach plummets and that horrible feeling of regret comes over him again, only this time it feels a lot like it’s going to consume him.

There’s the sound of someone shifting again, and then Luke watches, eyes shuttered and stinging embarrassingly with tears, as Reggie’s silhouette lies back down on the mattress; a clear indication of the end of a conversation.

Luke sits there in the dark, feeling like the worlds falling out from beneath his feet. It’s only _then_ that he realises that he’s more than a little bit in love with Reggie.

That’s the only feasible explanation for the visceral aching feeling in his chest at the idea that Reggie can’t stand the person he is. Luke doesn’t fall asleep at all that night.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group discuss christmas and luke has an argument with his parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all if i can get the christmas chapter up before boxing day it'll be some kinda miracle omfg  
> on another note, your comments on the last chapter were so sweet and i never know how to reply and properly express my love for you guys but: i love you all!! your support is everything!!  
> also i've come to the realisation that flynn was obviously into music in the show and i've written that out completely for some reason?? oops?

Christmas, Julie decides, is the worst time of the year.

Back before her mom died she’d loved it, the family, the giving, the presents, the food; all of it. She can remember sitting down beside her mom at the piano, duetting winter wonderland with her while Carlos and her dad sang - terribly out of tune - in the background. But after last Christmas… it doesn’t hold a candle to what the holiday used to mean to her.

She’s brought it up once or twice with the group and they all seem to have similar attitudes - though Julie knows that’s just a result of none of them having it great at home - so she’s not at all looking forward to Christmas this year.

Besides, she would have suggested the five of them meet over the holidays but ever since the party, two days ago, the whole group dynamic seems completely off; Reggie seems quieter, Luke seems angrier, Alex seems more on edge and Flynn just seems exhausted with all of it. Not that Julie would really know what the other girl’s thinking, considering they’ve hardly talked since that night.

She knows one of them needs to step up and do something or else they’re all going to fall apart but the idea of so much responsibility on her shoulders isn’t one which Julie’s particularly fond of.

Reluctantly, she reaches across to her bedside table for her phone. The groupchat illuminates the darkness in her room.

 **Julie** : anyone up

 **Alex** : julie it’s not even 10 yet ofc we’re up

 **Julie** : just checking hehe

 **Reggie** : whats up?

 **Julie** : eh nothing much i’m just bored out of my mind and miss y’all

 **Alex** : awww <3

 **Reggie** : miss you too juls

 **Alex** : and me?

 **Reggie** : that goes without saying ofc i do

 **Alex** : awww

 **Julie** : i was wondering

 **Julie** : does anyone maybe want to meet up on christmas

 **Reggie** : thank fuck

 **Reggie** : yes pls

 **Alex** : yes!!

 **Flynn** : i’d love to

 **Flynn** : but

 **Flynn** : not if it’s gonna be super awkward

 **Julie** : ….

 **Flynn** : as in between reggie and luke

 **Flynn** : not between us juls

 **Julie** : riiight

 **Reggie** : sorry

 **Julie** : it’s not your fault reggie

 **Julie** : and it’s not luke’s either

 **Alex** : well i’d love to meet up whatever

 **Alex** : anything to get away from my parents

 **Reggie** : me too

 **Flynn** : same ig

 **Julie** : great!!

 **Julie** : on christmas day? my family wouldn’t mind at all if y’all spent the day with us

 **Reggie** : yes pls

 **Alex** : heck yeah

 **Julie** : and i’m gonna go right ahead and assume luke wants to as well

____________________

Luke’s phone is going off like crazy, he knows it is, but he doesn’t have the will to actually pick it up and read it. Or rather, he _does_ , he just doesn’t particularly want to talk to any of them right now. He knows he’s messed up, but some part of him cannot stop screaming how unfair it all is.

Then he remembers how bad he hurt Reggie and that voice shuts up right away.

_I don’t think you’re the person I thought you were._

Every time his mind replays those words, cold and detached, it feels like a stab to the chest, repeatedly, over and over and over, until Luke’s left bleeding out on the floor with criss crossing incisions where his heart should be. It’s like nothing Luke’s ever felt before; heartbreak he supposes, or something similar. Because he _had_ been in love with Reggie - still _is_ for that matter. Ever since that phone call when Luke had been curled on a park bench and he felt something in his chest swoop at Reggie’s every word. He’s in love with him; with the way he blushes and ducks his head when someone compliments him, the way he pushes his hair out of his eyes when he sings, the way he cares deeply and loves fully and couldn’t hate anyone if he tried. Luke’s fallen for him and he doesn’t think he wants to get over it but at the same time he wants nothing more than to stop this feeling.

Unable to bear his thoughts any longer, he snatches up his guitar and notebook, flicking to one of the songs he’d scribbled down when he was feeling particularly angsty. Song writing has always been about emotional freedom for Luke, who has no problem letting people know what’s going on on the surface, but anything below that, the secrets and the arguments bubbling underneath, he expresses through his music. So he strums his guitar passionately, singing with unbridled sadness and anger and letting the words rip themselves from his throat.

He doesn’t think about the fact that it’s almost midnight and his parents are trying to sleep. Not until the door slams open, mid-song, while Luke is emotionally belting out the chorus.

“Luke!” His mother cries, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. Luke hastily stops playing and presses his hands to his eyes to stop the tears that had been stinging there.

“It’s quarter to twelve!” His mother continues, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Sorry,” Luke mutters, with a roll of his eyes. “Didn’t realise the time, I guess.”

“You didn’t realise the… Luke! What’s going on with you?” She sounds suitably concerned, Luke supposes, but he’s still pissed off so he’s not going to do her the favour of replying in kind.

“Oh, right, _now_ you care about what’s going on with me,” Luke mutters.

“Luke. You know we always care about you, and worry about you,” his mum says softly, eyes wide and smile sad.

“Well, nothing’s going on, so you’ve got no reason to worry!” He tells her brightly to get her off his back. His smile might be bordering more on psychopathic than false happiness because the creases in his mother’s forehead deepen noticeably.

“Honey…” She moves to sit down next to him on the bed. Luke shifts uncomfortably. “You can talk to me. You _can_.”

Those words are meant to comfort him, meant to make him feel like he can open up to her, but they don’t. Luke always feels like there’s some kind of brick wall between him and his mum when it comes to feelings. Because he _can’t_ open up to her. He just _can’t_.

He wishes he could.

“Y’know that group of friends I mentioned?” Luke tries, staring steadily at his hands, because he’s not going to talk about Reggie, but he might as well tell her about the next best thing.

“The ones you met online?” She replies sceptically. Luke clenches his jaw.

“Yes,” he grinds out. His mum nods uncertainly and he forces himself to release the tension. “Well, they’re all really into music too,” he explains, a smile tugging at his lips at the thought of the four of them, “Not so much Flynn but… Julie plays piano, and she sings too, and Alex kills it on the drums. And- Reggie plays bass.”

His mum doesn’t say a word.

“The thing is, I think- I mean, they’re all so talented- that I think we would have potential if we started a band,” Luke tells her dreamily, his smile growing.

“A band?”

“Yeah,” Luke grins, “A proper one, that plays like- gigs and everything and gets crowds and fans and-”

“No. No- I don’t think- I don’t think that’s a good idea, Luke,” his mum interrupts. Just like that, Luke’s smile falls and his walls go flying back up.

“What?”

“I said I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she repeats, firmer, “It’s dangerous, Luke. I wasn’t too pleased when you got so invested in the guitar in the first place but I allowed it and put up with it, because it made you happy. But- but a _band_? With a group of _strangers_? Luke, what are you thinking?”

Luke pushes away from his bed quickly, exhaling heavily, shakily, “What- Mum, _they_ make me happy! Being in a band with them _would make me happy!_ ” He cries, embarrassed by the sting of tears in his eyes and the choked up quality to his voice. He hears heavy footsteps from the other room, and doesn't need to look to know his dad's standing in the doorway behind him.

“No, Luke,” his mother shakes her head, “You don’t know what kind of horrible business you could get involved in!”

“By playing music?” Luke yells, throwing his hands out in front of him in anger, “By doing what I love?!”

“YES!” His mother yells, and Luke’s ashamed to say that he startles and shrinks backwards. His mother never yells. She’s got tears in her eyes too but it only provokes the anger in Luke’s chest further. “Luke, you don’t understand- it’s- look, I want what’s best for you! And joining some- some _rock band_ isn’t it!”

“I’m not a fucking child, mum!” He yells back, watching his mother’s eye twitch at his language. “How the fuck would you know what’s best for me anyway? _Really_ , mum? You preach on and on about how I can open up to you and then you shut down everything I say!”

Luke shoves a hand quickly across his cheek to stop the tears that are threatening there.

“Luke,” his dad says, from somewhere behind him, probably because his mum looks close to tears. “We’re just worried about you.”

“No!” Luke cries, spinning to face his father’s pale, pitying face, “You’re just as bad as she is! I can handle myself, I’m eighteen for fucks sake! Who the fuck do you think you are to try and take away the one thing that I’m so passionate about?!”

Luke comes to a realisation then, watching his father’s eyes flicker and drop to the floor in shame and listening to his mother’s quiet sobs behind him, that he can’t stay here any longer. He needs to get out.

“Honey,” his mum sobs, “You know that’s not what we’re doing.”

It _is_. Luke knows it _is_. He reaches over and snatches up a worn rucksack.

“You _know_ we’d never- Luke! Luke, what are you doing?” She cries as Luke stuffs random items of clothing into the bag, not paying attention in the slightest to what he’s putting in.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He snaps, over the racing of his heart and the overwhelming urge to get out.

“Don’t be silly! Luke, you don’t need to leave!”

“Yes,” Luke says firmly, spinning back to face his mother, knowing full well she’ll be able to see clearly the way his eyes are shining with tears. “I _do_. I can’t stand it here a second longer.”

“Son,” his dad pleads, “I think you’re overreacting. Why don’t the three of us sit down in the-”

“Fuck off!” Luke yells, zipping his bag halfway up, slinging it over his shoulder and grabbing his guitar off the floor. He blinks back the tears only for them to spill out, hot and burning, down his cheeks. “I’m _not_ overreacting!”

He shoves past his dad, and out of his bedroom, moving hurriedly to the front door with his parents on his heels.

“Luke! Don’t- _Please_ , don’t!”

“Come back! Luke!”

He’s running completely on autopilot as he pulls his bike out from the side of his house and jumps on, not letting his brain overthink anything. Only when he starts pedalling away into the darkness does he wonder about how good an idea it was. But he shakes the doubt away, alive with the sensation of finally feeling like he can breath again.

He’s free.

____________________

Luke goes to the park first. The park where he’d been after that argument a few months ago when he’d called Reggie.

But he doesn’t _have_ Reggie now. And really, he never did.

In the end, he can’t stop himself from sobbing, loud and broken, in the middle of the park. He knows he can’t just sit there all night, so decides, impulsively, that he needs to go to Julie’s. Obviously he doesn’t think about how long the journey is, on a bike, with a heavy guitar strapped to his back.

So it’s at 3am that Luke turns up on Julie’s doorstep, freezing and shaking, all his tears cried out, and utterly exhausted.

The man who opens the door - Julie’s dad, Luke’s mind supplies helpfully - takes one look at him and pulls him inside straight away, closing the door heavily behind him.

“Luke?” He asks quietly, and Luke’s surprised he remembered his name. “What happened? Are you alright?”

Luke nods numbly, staring at a spot behind the man’s head and wrapping his arms tighter around his shivering body.

“Luke,” he says again, the worry in his tone more prevalent this time, “You must be freezing. How did you get here? Just- Alright, follow me.”

Julie’s dad leads him through to the living room and gestures to the sofa. Luke collapses onto it, his body crying out in relief.

“I’ll get you a hot drink, hold on,” he says, kindly, and Luke feels like crying again. He just nods mindlessly.

Luke doesn’t know how much time passes, but it can’t be very long before Julie’s dad returns with a soft blanket, a hot drink and a tin of biscuits. He sits down beside Luke, passing him the items in turn and offering another warm smile with them.

Luke sips from the mug carefully.

“I’m so stupid,” he mutters eventually, tonelessly, letting his eyes fall shut. Julie’s dad makes an inquiring noise.

“I’m sorry,” Luke continues, glancing up at Julie’s dad’s face, “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“No need to apologise,” he says with a soft laugh and a shake of his head, “I really don’t mind, Luke, but whatever’s going on; you know you can talk to me about it, right?”

Luke wants to laugh at the absurdity that he _genuinely_ feels like he could open up to this man, that he’s only spoken to twice before, but he couldn’t open up to his own damn mother. That says enough about the situation than anything else he supposes.

“I know… I know, I can.”

____________________

When Julie wakes to the sound of voices in the middle of the night she presumes it’s just Carlos and her dad, because it so often is. Julie’s not a stranger to it either; waking with a racing heart and panting breath from a dream - a nightmare - where her mother was dying all over again. Even worse are the happy ones, the ones where her mum is there with them, laughing and talking and alive. And then Julie will wake up and it’s like she’s experiencing the loss all over again. For Carlos, he goes straight to their dad, and Julie’s grown used to hearing their hushed voices from the other room.

But the voices are louder than the whispered reassurances from her dad to Carlos and they’re coming from downstairs rather than the room over. Sleepily, she drags herself from the warm cocoon of her bed and down the stairs, treading lightly.

“You know you can stay here as long as you need, Luke,” her dad’s deep, comforting voice is saying and Julie starts at the name.

“Luke?” She yelps, skipping the last three steps and racing round the corner to see Luke curled up on her sofa. There’s a mug of what looks like hot chocolate cradled in his hands, fingers tapping an unsteady rhythm against the porcelain. Her eyes trail up to his face, where his red eyes meet hers and she traces the lines of his face with her gaze, his exhausted eyes, the taut, unhappy line of his mouth.

“Julie,” he mumbles, hastily brushing a hand over his cheek before continuing the stilted rhythm he taps against the mug. Julie glances at her dad, who’s still watching Luke uncertainly, and then back to Luke.

“What’s going on?”

Luke shifts uncomfortably, ducking his gaze away from hers. “I just couldn’t take them anymore, Juls,” he whispers, voice croaky and broken. The rhythm he’s tapping steadies.

Julie wants to push. She wants to know what _happened_. But she knows better. She nods sympathetically.

“Dad, I think I can handle this from here,” she tells him. He nods and, with a last comforting rub of Luke’s shoulder, gets to his feet.

“Don’t stay up too long, kiddos,” he says, and Julie rolls her eyes, “and if you need a spare bed there’s always the pullout in the studio.”

With that, he disappears up the stairs and leaves the pair of them standing in silence.

“C’mon, Luke,” she says, after a moments hesitation, turning towards the stairs and motioning for him to follow, “Let’s go upstairs.”

They go upstairs. Luke doesn’t say a word on the way up, despite the multiple comforting looks Julie sends over her shoulder when she looks back to check on him and it’s not until he collapses onto her bed when they reach her room that he makes a sound. Even then, it’s just an exhausted groan.

“What happened?” she asks softly, lying down on her back next to him. She watches out of the corner of her eye in the darkness as he scrubs a hand over his face nervously, staring up at the ceiling.

“They just don’t get it,” Luke mutters. Julie stays silent, knowing he’ll open up with time. “I mean, look- for such a long time I felt so shitty. Like, I don’t know… like I was putting up a front, like I couldn’t be _me_ , like I didn’t even know who I was. And I know most people go through that or whatever but I was really struggling for a while, and then I got my guitar, and I could _finally_ express myself.”

Julie knows exactly what he means, because music has affected her in such a similar way. The choked up, passionate quality of his voice is exactly how she feels when it comes to her music.

“But they hated it! They never said anything, but they didn’t have to! And I thought that was what they _wanted_ when they wrapped that guitar up for my birthday, for me to finally have a hobby that I loved with my everything.”

Julie shuffles down, closer to Luke, and rests her head gently on his shoulder.

“And then… yesterday evening. Apparently the idea of me being in a band with you guys was the last straw,” Luke mutters, his eyes slipping closed as he exhales, heavy and shaky.

“So you ran?” Julie whispers.

“Yeah,” Luke replies numbly, “It was impulsive and I wasn’t really thinking but I just couldn’t stand it any longer.”

Julie hums sympathetically, reaching down and twining their hands together.

“I just feel terrible right now, Julie. Constantly.” He tells, his voice dropping to a confessional, guilty whisper, “And my parents aren’t even the worst of it.”

She knows this, of course. She’s watched the divide between two of her best friends as it crumbled into a gaping chasm. “Reggie?”

Luke nods.

“You need to talk to him Luke.”

“I know.”

“No. You need to _really_ talk to him; talk about why you did it and why he reacted how he did and what you can do to make it better and actually tell him how you feel, Luke.”

“I _know_.”

Julie sighs and turns her head away, tracing the lines of the ceiling with her eyes

“It’s weird but… I think I might’ve been in love with him. I think I still am,” Luke says.

“Why’s that weird?”

Luke turns his head up towards her and stares at her like she’s lost her mind. “The five of us have only actually met in person like… three times? I feel like there’s so much of him that I still don’t know.”

“Luke,” Julie rolls her eyes, “It only takes a split second to fall in love.”

Luke scoffs and shoves at her shoulder. “Soppy romantic.”

“No, really,” Julie says seriously, “Love at first sight? You don’t need to know someone’s every thought to be able to fall in love with them.”

This seems to mollify Luke somewhat. “I guess... hey when did you turn into some wizened philosophical old woman?”

Julie huffs out a laugh, glad that Luke seems to be brightening up a little.

“But he’s not okay. Is he?” Luke continues quietly after a moment. “I mean, his parents…”

“He’s got us,” Julie says firmly, hopefully, “And he’ll be out of there soon.”

“Yeah,” Luke mutters. They lie in silence for a while, the two of them staring up at the dark ceiling, Julie’s head resting gently on Luke’s shoulder, his hand gripped in hers. After so long without either of them moving, Julie begins to think Luke’s fallen asleep, and then,

“This is going to sound stupid,” he says, shattering the silence, and startling Julie.

“What?”

“Well, I’ve always wanted a little sister,” Luke mumbles sleepily. “You sort of feel like my little sister, Juls.”

Julie can’t help it; she bursts into giggles.

“What’s so funny about that?” Luke asks, sitting up in indignation. Julie pulls him back down, shaking her head in exasperation.

“Nothing, nothing,” Julie laughs, “It’s just funny. If I’d have met you two or three years ago when I wasn’t out I would’ve been tripping over myself at your feet,” she tells him.

“What?” Luke splutters, and then, after a moments consideration, “Damn right, you would’ve.”

“Luke, that whole charming guitarist act doesn’t work on someone you’ve just told you consider to be your little sister.”

“Shut up,” Luke grumbles, pulling the blankets up higher over himself and turning onto his back again.

Julie considers him for a moment, out of the corner of her eye, as he blinks tiredly. “You know what? I guess I see you as an older brother too, Luke,” she tells him, and it’s true.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group meet for christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so late, i'm so sorry :0

**Reggie** : merry christmas!!!

 **Alex** : merry christmas!

 **Alex** : what time are we coming over juls

 **Flynn** : she’s probably asleep dumbasses it’s 3 in the morning why are y’all awake

 **Flynn** : happy christmas though ig

 **Alex** : why are _you_ awake then

 **Flynn** : you idiots woke me up

 **Reggie** : omg sorry

 **Flynn** : also julie said we could come over as soon as we wanted didn’t she

 **Reggie** : guess i’ll be leaving now then

 **Flynn** : reggie

 **Reggie** : kidding

 **Alex** : ohp me too reggie

 **Reggie** : y’all i don’t think i’ve ever been more excited for christmas

 **Alex** : same omg i’ve got gifts for all of you!!!!

 **Reggie** : same

 **Reggie** : but i don’t have a lot of money so they’re a little… makeshift

 **Flynn** : it’s the thought that counts though, right?

 **Reggie** : right

 **Reggie** : also do you think it’s alright that i got luke a present

 **Reggie** : i mean he’s not really speaking to me rn

 **Reggie** : but i’m not really speaking to him either

 **Reggie** : but

 **Reggie** : i still care

 **Reggie** : someone say something

 **Alex** : uhhh reg you realise luke can read back through the chat

 **Reggie** : oh

 **Reggie** : OH

 **Reggie** : well i mean it’s true

 **Flynn** : fasckskajasls

 **Alex** : no i think it’s okay reg

 **Alex** : he’ll appreciate it

 **Flynn** : luke if ur reading this pretend you didn’t see it

 **Flynn** : but also what did you get him reg

 **Alex** : DON’T ANSWER REGGIE

 **Alex** : it’s meant to be a surprise!!!

 **Reggie** : sjklfkf okay

____________________

Flynn steps out of her house into the silent, frostbitten christmas morning and leans heavily against the door, pulling a slow, deep breath into her lungs and letting her eyes slide shut for a small moment of relief. She loves her family, each and every one of them, and more importantly, they love her back, but a lot of the time they’re just too much. Especially at Christmas, when all eight of them are together and Flynn can hardly hear herself think over their chatter and laughter.

Most of the time she just fades into the background.

She pushes away from the door and sets off towards Reggie’s house. It’s silly of her, getting upset that she has to make herself so much bigger and bolder to so much as be noticed by them when she clearly has it better than any of her friends. Both of her parents are still alive; they fight but only as much as any happy couple would; and when she told them she came out to them they merely nodded and told her it was cool, she could bring her girlfriend round any time. So she _should_ be happy. But it still gets under her skin when she’s achieved her best grade yet in school and her family’s too busy fawning over Chris’s new job at some famous firm to even bat an eye at her.

When she reaches Reggie’s she’s not surprised to see him sitting on the porch, one hand on Flynn II’s lead and the other wrapped around himself, his worn, black rucksack leaning against his side. She stops short at the garden gate, swinging loosely from its hinges, when she hears a muffled shout from inside.

Her eyes flicker back to Reggie, who’s noticed her now and is hastily getting to his feet, and take in the dark shadows that seem permanently tattooed under his eyes.

“Happy Christmas, Reggie,” she greets him uncertainly when he reaches her, glancing back at the house.

“Happy Christmas!” Reggie smiles, a little shaky around the edges but nevertheless happy to see her. She ducks her gaze to the puppy and crouches down.

“Aww! Look who’s gotten so big!” she cooes, cupping the dog’s face in her hands. “I missed you, my little namesake!”

Reggie rolls his eyes at her, and his smile tugs up higher.

“I thought we could take the train,” Flynn tells him, standing back up, and pretending, unsuccessfully that Reggie’s parents aren’t yelling loud enough for the street to hear.

“Yeah, okay,” Reggie mutters, “We should get going then, I don’t want to stay any longer than we need to.”

“Gotcha.”

“Mum wasn’t too pleased that dad hadn’t got me a christmas present,” he tells her dully, eyes on the road beneath them as they walk, “I can’t understand _why_ though, considering she hadn’t gotten me one either. His excuse was that he didn’t have the money, she didn’t even have an excuse. They were too busy arguing to even notice that I’d slipped out so clearly the issue wasn’t that neither of them had gotten anything for me.”

Flynn hums sympathetically, searching for the right words. It’s not often that Reggie opens up to her so she doesn’t want to shut him down.

“Fucking assholes,” is all she can come up with, and Reggie’s surprised snort of laughter seems to agree.

“You’re not wrong,” he laughs, and then, obviously to divert the topic, “Anyway, what about you?”

Flynn almost stops walking all together at the question, so out of the blue is it. “What- …me?”

“Yeah,” Reggie replies, “I mean, you’ve mentioned that your family gets on your nerves but don’t you want to spend Christmas day with them? You didn’t have to come for my sake.”

Flynn blinks at him, blindsided by the turn the conversation has taken. “Well…,” she starts, “Firstly, I have a six year old sister and an eight year old sister, so I’ve been up since about six in the morning anyway with my family. Besides, they… they’re a bit much sometimes.”

“They are?”

“I just prefer it with you guys,” she tells him, “You make me feel like I don’t need to shout just for my voice to be heard, y’know? I don’t need to have done something insane to be noticed. I can just be me.”

“Right,” Reggie nods, “I didn’t- I didn’t know you felt like that…”

Flynn shrugs. “No one really asks, I suppose. It’s nothing compared with how the rest of you have it, anyway.”

“Still,” Reggie stares ahead guiltily, “I’m sorry.”

“Come off it,” Flynn sighs, throwing an arm over his shoulder, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, I was just answering your question; I’ve had enough of my family for one day. Anyway, I desperately need to talk to Julie.”

“Oh, yeah?” Reggie raises his eyebrows suggestively and Flynn giggles.

“No, _seriously_ ,” she moans, “It’s super awkward, we haven’t talked at all since we made out at that party, besides the messages in the groupchat.”

Reggie grimaces. “She probably doesn’t want you now that she knows what a terrible kisser you are,” Reggie teases her, deadpan.

“ _Don’t_!” Flynn protests loudly, burying her face in his shoulder, as he cackles at her reaction. “What if it’s true?!”

____________________

Reggie and Flynn arrive at Julie’s just before midday, at which point Luke is suspiciously already there, and Alex arrives minutes after them. The five of them eat a huge Christmas lunch with Julie’s dad, brother and Aunt, and it’s loud and noisy, but just the way Flynn likes it. She sits wedged between Alex and Julie’s brother, Carlos, at the little table which is definitely not made to seat so many people around it, with Reggie on Alex’s other side beside Julie’s aunt and Julie between Carlos and Luke, who’s next to Julie’s dad. There are fleeting moments of awkwardness, like when Julie’s aunt asks what’s going on between Reggie and Luke, because it’s painfully obvious in their fleeting glances at each other, but Julie jumps in hastily.

“They’re super grumpy,” Julie laughs awkwardly. Flynn watches Luke stare at his turkey like he could burn a hole right through it. “They’re both grinches. Pass the potatoes?”

Or when Reggie asks why they’ve left a space at the table when there’s already hardly enough space for the eight of them to fit around it and Julie looks like she wants to rip his head off.

“It’s for Rose,” Ray, Julie’s dad, explains, with a glance in his children’s direction, “Julie and Carlos’ mum. So she can be here with us.”

Reggie goes quiet at that, besides a whispered ‘sorry’, and there’s a short awkward silence before Carlos decides to give the seven of them a rather lengthy, thrilling tale about how he’s certain their mum is a ghost. Flynn’s surprised by just how much she enjoys herself, despite the tension between Reggie and Luke being so palpable and the nervous looks Julie keeps shooting at her. When Reggie and Alex get caught up in a conversation of their own and Luke and Julie are talking animatedly about music to the adults, she finds herself turning to Carlos. She’s good with younger kids, having two younger siblings of her own, she just treats them the same as people her own age.

“D’you get any good presents?”

“Of course,” Carlos tells her matter-of-factly around a mouthful of Christmas pudding, “Dad got me a really cool guitar because I’ve been wanting to learn it for ages.”

“Really? That’s super cool,” Flynn tells him, truthfully, because he seems really sweet, “You know, if you’re anything like Julie or your mum then you’ve probably got serious talent.”

“You think?”

“Hell yeah!” Flynn grins, and glances up to find Julie’s eyes on her, a small smile on the other girl’s lips. Flynn feels her cheeks flush and looks away.

“Gross,” Carlos mutters.

____________________

“Hey, how about you guys go and sit down in the living room while I tidy up in here?” Ray suggests once they’re all completely stuffed with food.

“That’s fine, dad, I can do it,” Julie tells him. He smiles tiredly at her and Flynn watches as Julie smiles back, rubbing a hand on his arm reassuringly. “Go sit down, I’ve got this.”

“I’ll help,” Flynn says quickly before she can talk herself out of it. She meets Julie’s eyes meaningfully.

“That’s great you two,” Victoria beams as she herds the rest of them into the living room, “Thank you so much.”

When they’re gone, Flynn watches in silence as Julie gathers the plates off the table, stacking them carefully on top of each other, and moves into the kitchen. Flynn follows suit, gathering some of the other dishes, summoning up her courage, and entering the kitchen herself.

Julie’s standing by the sink, facing away from Flynn, she’s got a dish and a cloth in her hands and is cleaning it, repeatedly. Her hair’s pushed back, away from her forehead, with a cute little headband with reindeer antlers on it and Flynn wants nothing more than to run her fingers through it. But first they need to talk.

Flynn places the dishes down beside the sink with a clatter.

“Happy Christmas, Julie,” she tells her. Julie glances up at her, brown eyes wide.

“Happy Christmas,” she smiles, and Flynn feels like she’s falling for her all over again. Julie twists a little to face her, one hand still washing the plate she’s holding, and smirks a little, “You look good today.”

Flynn’s eyes widen; she hadn’t been expecting that. Her eyes flicker down to the bland red skirt and woolen jumper she’s wearing. “I- uh- shut up,” she mutters, as Julie’s eyes crease with laughter, “You just like messing with me, don’t you?”

“Maybe,” Julie giggles, turning back to the dish she’s washing. “But you do look cute.”

“I know I do. So do you,” Flynn replies, honestly. After almost two weeks without talking to each other properly, part of Flynn had begun to think that she’d made it all up in her head. “I think I’ve been a bit of an idiot,” she sighs.

“Oh?”

“We- we haven’t talked since that party.”

“I think everyone had other things on their minds,” Julie says drily, and it’s true, Flynn’s mind has been a little more preoccupied with whether Reggie and Luke were going to tear the whole group of them apart, but she’s not worried about that _now_ ; she knows they’ll be okay. Flynn side steps closer so that she and Julie are so close their shoulders brush, Julie’s eyes still steadfastly on the plate in her hands.

“No, but. You kissed me.”

“I did,” Julie mumbles, blushing endearingly.

“And I liked it,” Flynn tells her honestly, grabbing the dish out of Julie’s hands so that she’ll look at _her_ instead of the stupid plate. “And I like _you_.”

Julie’s eyes widen and she places her soapy, now empty hands down on the counter, turning slowly to meet Flynn’s gaze. She holds back a smile. “I thought you didn’t,” Julie whispers.

“What?” Flynn protests, pulling back a little so she can take in Julie’ face properly, “Of course I do!”

“Well you never texted me!”

“You never texted _me_!”

“I made the first move,” Julie tells her, eyebrows raised, “The ball was in your court, I thought you just weren’t into me.”

“Of course I am,” Flynn murmurs, gaze flicking to Julie’s lips.

“Okay,” Julie murmurs, bringing a hand up to Flynn’s shoulder and leaning in closer, “So what does that make us? Are we together?”

“I’d like that,” Flynn replies, and it takes everything within her to hold back the wild grin that attempts to break out across her face.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Flynn smiles, and leans in closer so that their lips are mere centimetres apart. “Can I kiss you?” She asks softly, looking up at Julie from beneath her eyelashes.

Julie responds by pulling her in towards her so that their lips meet, crashing clumsily against each other. If anything, Flynn thinks it’s even better than the first kiss, first because they’re both relatively sober this time, and second because they’re alone. The muffled laughter of the others is still audible from the other room but it fades to background music, drowned out by the soft noises Julie makes against her mouth.

Flynn pulls Julie in closer, so their bodies are flush against each other and she can feel the other girl move against her. Julie pulls back after a moment, as her face breaks into a smile that sends Flynn’s stomach swooping.

“You taste like Christmas,” Julie tells her softly, pressing a kiss to her nose.

Flynn giggles, ducking her head into Julie’s shoulder, and wrapping her arms around her properly. “Christmas?” She asks, voice muffled in Julie’s Christmas jumper, “How does someone taste like Christmas?”

“Y’know-”

“Eugh, _gross_!” Carlos interrupts, entering the room with the rest of the dishes that they’d forgotten from the table. “They’re hugging!” he calls back to the others.

“Damn it,” Flynn mutters, pulling her face away from Julie’s shoulder.

“We should probably go back and join everyone else, right?” Julie asks.

“ _No_ ,” Flynn replies vehemently at the same as Carlos gives a cheery, “Yes!”

“I don’t think I can sit through anymore of Luke and Reggie making sad faces at each other when the other’s back is turned,” Flynn says, batting her eyelashes at Julie who only rolls her eyes.

“Tough luck,” Julie tells her, pressing a last, quick kiss to her lips.

“Oh my god!” Carlos screams from behind them, “Now they’re _kissing_!”

____________________

If Flynn thought that she could be subtle about whatever happened between her and Julie in the kitchen, then she’d be absolutely wrong. Reggie’s aware that being observant isn’t a major personality trait of his and _he’s_ still noticed the change between. It’s been at least an hour now and the five of them are seated in the living room after passing round gifts for each other. Reggie can’t help but feel a little guilty at the homemade cookies he made all of them that are probably more likely to give them food poisoning than anything else, but they all seem delighted with them. Besides, Luke hasn’t even got him a gift which seriously hurts.

Reggie glances up at where Luke’s deep in conversation with Alex on the other side of the room. He seems subdued, if anything. Dulled down. But it’s not Reggie’s place to ask anymore. Instead, he looks over to Julie, who’s got an arm slung over Flynn’s shoulder and is sitting practically in her lap. He’s truly happy for them, he is, but something about their sudden… coupleishness rubs him the wrong way. Jealousy, he supposes. That they’ve found the kind of happiness with each other that Reggie’s always wanted, while the one person Reggie thought he could have that with - the one person he wanted to have it with - isn’t the person he thought he was.

Eventually Alex pulls Reggie from his thoughts with the suggestion that the five of them move out to the studio and play together again, since it went so well last time, and Reggie agrees and follows the four of them out there.

“Uh… Julie,” Alex starts uncertainly when they reach the studio, “Are you aware that someone appears to be camping out in your garage?”

“Huh?”

“Well either you’ve got a guest we haven’t met, or someone’s using your garage as some kind of residence.”

Reggie peers around Alex’s shoulder in curiosity, taking in the rumpled bedding on the pullout bed, the rucksack, the guitar. He turns sharply to Julie, who’s sheepishly eyeing Luke and rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

“That’s um- that’s Luke’s,” she tells them, a little guiltily, eyes wavering nervously on Luke’s face, set stubbornly in stone.

“ _What_?!”

“Luke’s?!”

Reggie doesn’t join in with the others’ cries of confusion, instead watching Luke carefully as he avoids Reggie’s gaze.

“What happened?” he asks, directing the question at Julie but keeping his eyes on Luke.

“And why didn’t you _tell_ us?” Flynn cries, throwing her hands up in indignation.

“Luke asked me not to say anything.”

“Luke,” Reggie asks, heart thudding in his chest, “What happened?”

“Why do you care?” Luke replies grouchily, tucking his hands in his pockets, eyes firmly on the floor.

“Luke,” Alex mumbles, “We all care about you.”

“No, I mean why does _Reggie_ care?” Luke cries, throwing a hand out to gesture at Reggie. He takes an uncertain step back.

“Are we really doing this again,” Reggie hears Flynn mutter from somewhere behind him.

“No,” Julie tells them firmly, stepping in so she’s in between the two of them, “We’re not, it’s Christmas. Luke, stop being petty-

“I am _not_ being petty!”

“And Reggie just... relax, yeah? Luke, I think they deserve to know why you’re suddenly living here all of a sudden, though.”

“Whatever,” Luke scowls.

“He had a fight with his parents, ran off and came here,” Julie explains succinctly. Reggie can’t help it; he starts forward on instinct. Something inside him desperately wants to comfort Luke but, once again, it’s not his place. He stops himself, but not before Luke catches him, eyeing him like he can’t understand what goes on in Reggie’s brain.

He tries not to feel hurt when Alex pulls Luke into his side instead, muttering something comforting under his breath, before the four of them move to their instruments and Flynn seats herself on the sofa.

The five of them play together until any kind of light outside has died completely and Reggie’s fingers are numb from strumming his guitar. It doesn’t feel right though - not like it had the last time they played together - and it’s not hard to work out why.

“Alright, this is an intervention,” Alex announces when they finish the last song, getting up and moving around the drumkit to stand in front of Reggie and Luke. Reggie places his guitar down nervously. “You two need to talk.”

Reggie turns, wide-eyed, to stare at Luke who’s receiving a particularly forceful glare from Julie.

“Alex…,” Reggie starts, pleadingly, putting on a pout. Alex suppresses a smile and shakes his head.

“No, you’re both moody and upset and you need to talk through your shit, alright? No shouting, no arguing; just tell each other what the issue is and sort it out!”

Reggie fiddles nervously with the sleeve of his flannel.

“I don’t think it’s quite that simple,” Julie mutters, “Alex is right, though. But if we hear yelling we’re coming straight back in.”

Reggie knows they’re right, and in a lot of ways he does want to talk to Luke, but still, something in him wants to run. After that night Reggie doesn’t know what to think. His mind will think one thing and then his heart will tell him something different and then he’ll go round in circles, because how is he supposed to know which one is right? He knows, looking back on it, that the man Luke punched deserved it but that doesn’t make Reggie any less shaken up by the sight of Luke launching himself at him.

He thinks maybe the problem isn’t Luke. Maybe it’s actually Reggie’s parents, and his father, and the amount of times he’s been caught in the middle of one of their fights, and the bruises, and the neglect, and the slammed doors, and the shattered glass, and the forgotten birthdays, and _him_. No one else reacted the way he did.

“Reggie?”

He startles, pulling his gaze up to meet Luke’s brown eyes. In the time that Reggie was stuck in his own head the others have left, leaving just him and Luke. Reggie drops down reluctantly onto the sofa, watching Luke do the same out of the corner of his eye.

“I don’t know what to say,” Luke confesses after a beat of silence, his voice twisting hurtfully. “I’ve already apologised to you. I know how you feel, I-”

“Luke,” Reggie sighs, because if they’re going to talk then they should do it properly; the whole spilling your guts thing that Reggie hates so much.

“What?”

“We need to be honest with each other. You- you can tell me you hate me for all I care, just, this isn’t going to work if we’re not honest.”

As much as he hates spilling his guts to people, Reggie would turn himself inside out if it meant he and Luke could be okay again.

“Okay…,” Luke starts hesitantly, “Well firstly, I’m sorry.”

“ _You’re_ sorry?”

Luke nods. “Of course,” he says sincerely, “I wanted to say it again, just so you know, that I _really_ am. If I’d known- if I’d thought- Reggie, I’ve already told you; if I knew what- what you’re going through-”

Reggie pulls back sharply, putting distance between himself and Luke. “What I’m going through?!” he demands. Luke holds a hand out towards him, before seeming to think otherwise and pulling it back to his chest.

“Reggie,” Luke murmurs, “You… you’ve got to know what it looks like. I mean, Flynn told us your parents argue after you vanished from that video chat back in october or something but Reggie… I’m not blind. And I didn’t ask because I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me yourself but… Reggie I’m worried about you.”

“They’re not- they’re not like that Luke,” he replies, shaking his head. Because it’s _true_ , his parents have never intentionally laid a finger on him if that’s what Luke’s implying. Luke sighs, like he doesn’t believe Reggie.

“We’re being honest, remember?” Reggie snaps, “I swear, they’re not like that, Luke. But… they are pretty messed up,” Reggie mutters, a guilty, prickling feeling making itself known in his chest.

“Yeah?” Reggie can tell Luke’s holding back from asking a dozen questions.

“I mean, I think- I think my dad might be abusive towards my mum,” he confesses, “I always thought that it was the both of them, because she’s held her own a fair number of times but… now I’m not so sure.”

It’s odd, to confess it aloud when he’s spent such a large portion of his life thinking his parents were people to look up to. He shifts nervously.

“They’ve always cared more about their arguments with each other than they have about me,” he says quietly. Telling Luke feels like a massive weight off his chest. “I think it’s messed me up pretty bad.”

“Reggie,” Luke murmurs.

“I’m telling you so you understand why I reacted like that, okay?” Reggie tells him, “Not because I want you to feel sorry for me or anything.”

“I didn’t think you did,” Luke replies. Reggie exhales the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding and nods, offering Luke a grateful smile.

“Alright. Your turn,” Reggie tells him confidently.

“ _My turn?”_

“Yup,” Reggie beams, “You know, that was actually surprisingly cathartic telling you all that? Now it’s your go; tell me why you’re so angry at the minute. You can’t even seem to look me in the eye properly.”

That’s what hurts the most Reggie thinks; not that he doesn’t know if he can trust Luke anymore, not that it feels like he’s lost something he didn’t even know he had, but the look in Luke’s eyes whenever they’re in the same room.

“I’m not angry with you.”

“Luke, obviously I’ve done something to hurt you.”

“Yeah, no shit! You told me I wasn’t the person you thought I was which- clearly can’t mean anything good!” Luke cries.

“I was just being honest,” Reggie tries, “I didn’t realise it’d upset you.”

“I’m not _upset_!” Luke protests weakly, and then ducks his head with a sigh, “Alright, I am upset. Hearing someone that you- that you-”

“That you what?”

“Someone that you care about,” Luke settles on, avoiding Reggie’s eyes, “Hearing someone that you care about say that is _going_ to hurt!”

“You care about me?” Reggie asks quietly.

“What the fuck, Reggie!” Luke stares at him like he’s lost his mind and, honestly, it’s starting to feel a bit like he has; he and Luke seem to be participating in two different conversations. “ _That’s_ what stands out to you in this whole conversation?” Luke cries in disbelief, “How could I _not_ care about you?”

“I don’t- I don’t know,” Reggie stumbles over his words under the intensity of Luke’s stare, “I just… You got everyone a present apart from me, and forgive me if it’s petty but if that’s not a clear sign of not caring about someone then I don’t know what is!”

Suddenly, Luke’s getting to his feet and moving round the sofa. For a moment Reggie’s scared he might’ve irritated Luke so much he just decided he’d had enough, but instead Luke crouches down to unzip his backpack.

“You can’t honestly think I didn’t get you anything, Reg,” Luke mumbles as he pulls out what looks like an envelope with _Reggie_ scrawled across the front.

“Well, I don’t know _what_ to think!”

Luke sits back down beside Reggie, twisting the corner of the envelope in his hands as he struggles for words.

“I was scared,” Luke confesses eventually. “I didn’t think you’d want it. And… It’s- Well- Just don’t open it now, okay?”

He passes it over to Reggie, their hands brushing softly as Reggie takes it from him, smoothing his hands across the surface like it’s some kind of undiscovered treasure. He can’t comprehend what it could be.

“Thank you,” he tells him softly, finding Luke’s eyes on him and giving him a shy smile.

“You don’t know what it is yet,” Luke rolls his eyes, “For all you know it’s just a list of reasons why I hate you.”

Reggie’s eyes widen.

“It isn’t,” Luke assures him hastily, suppressing laughter. He shakes his head at Reggie, his expression one that Reggie can’t quite put his finger on; an odd mix of disbelief, fondness and guilt. He sobers. “I know you might have trouble believing it but I’ll always care about you, Reggie, I couldn’t stop myself if I tried.”

Reggie’s certain his heart stops for much longer than could possibly be healthy. He can’t even begin to wrap his head around Luke’s words - words which he’s been longing to hear ever since his dad got kicked out of that job years ago and the arguments started and everything went downhill. Because to care about someone you have to love _all_ of them. Reggie would know. Reggie loves all of Luke and Flynn and Alex and Julie. But for someone to reciprocate that-

“You know the others do too, right?” Luke asks softly and Reggie blinks and suddenly Luke’s much closer than he remembered, his big, round, brown eyes wide and sincere at the focal point of Reggie’s vision. Reggie wonders how someone as gentle as Luke could ever have scared him so badly.

“Okay,” Reggie replies, because he _doesn’t_ know this but hearing Luke say it makes it seem at least a little bit more real.

Luke smiles contentedly. “Y’know, I think that went pretty well, all things considered, don’t you?”

Reggie snorts. “Oh yeah? What part? The bit where you told me you weren’t angry with me and then proceeded to yell at me for the next five minutes or the bit where I assumed you hated me just because you hadn’t given my Christmas present yet?”

Luke scoffs, shoving lightly at his shoulder. “Shut up,” he mutters, biting back a smile that Reggie knows would send his insides into freefall. He looks away before Luke catches him staring, and glances at the envelope in his hands.

“I’ll uh… I’ll call you when I open this, yeah?” He asks, waving it in the air.

For some reason this causes Luke’s cheeks to burn red. The other boy runs a hand through his hair nervously, and Reggie curses himself for finding it ridiculously attractive.

“Sure,” Luke replies, biting his lip.

“But- This doesn’t mean we’re okay though,” Reggie tells him, even though it’s starting to feel like it does.

“Yeah, yeah of course not,” Luke’s face falls considerably.

“Luke,” Reggie says.

“ _Reggie_ ,” he mimics back. Reggie rolls his eyes in a way that he could only describe as fond and holds back a smile.

“I just mean I need you to give me some time, alright?”

“Yeah, of course,” Luke nods sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “I need to learn to be patient, got it.”

Reggie grins. “Don’t worry, it’s very endearing,” He tells Luke innocently, unable to stop his cheeks flushing at the words. Luke’s mouth quirks up into a lopsided smile.

“Oh yeah?” He smirks. “Do go on, what else is endearing about me?”

“Your ego is big enough already, Luke.”

“My _ego_?”

“That’s right.”

“What- Wh- My ego is perfectly fine how it is!”

“Mhm, I s’pose it is. It’s quite endearing too, actually.”

“Huh! Reggie, you flirt!”

“No- uh- no. Absolutely not- that’s not- I wasn’t flirting!”

“You absolutely were.”

“Stop. Stop talking. I’m leaving before I just forgive you altogether.”

“Because of how endearing I am, right?”

“Wrong.”

“You find me endearing!”

“I absolutely do not!”


End file.
